canada Page 19 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

NHL Hall-Of-Famer Gets A Little Handsy
Paul Coffey misses the camaraderie of the NHL. We really hope that's the explanation for this....

Grounds Crew Sets Fire To Baseball Field To Dry It
"It seemed like a good idea at the time" is a phrase that doesn't bode well. But rarely has there been so obviously not a good idea as burning a baseball field with diesel fuel to dry it out after it rains....

Intern Horrors: Canadians! Canadians Everywhere! Canadians As Far As The Eye Can See!
Welcome to Intern Horrors, the weekly feature wherein interns past and present write in with their tales of low-to-no-pay woe. This week: Canadians! Canadians in publishing, Canadians in finance — you name it, Canadians are interning in that field....

Awesome Parents Sue Hockey Team That Cut Their Sons
Two Toronto hockey dads are suing a youth league because coaches had the temerity to point out to their sons' that they aren't very good at hockey. Pay attention, because important life lessons are about to be taught....

Entire Canadian Football Team Suspended For Steroids
Nine University of Waterloo football players are suspected of possible steroid use, so the team's entire season has been canceled. (There may have been a smidgen of drug trafficking, too.) That's Canada, for you. Always so....reasonable. [OttawaCitizen]...

Weekend Loser: Adam Jones
Orioles centerfielder Adam Jones was wrongly detained by Canadian authorities Thursday night in the first example of Canada's No Criminal Baseball Players Allowed rule, likely because he shares his name with a troublemaking footballer/video game....

Playing The Blue Jays In Toronto? Leave Your Felons At Home
The MLB Players Association sent a warning to all their player agents that Canadian immigrations officials have recently detained non-Canadian players at the border, due to prior criminal records. Not that agents would know anyone like that, they're just sayin'....

9-Year-Old Beer-Drinking Hockey Players, aka Regular Canadians
A Saskatoon youth hockey team is under fire after posting a video showing the mites with open cans and bottles of beer. Little Pelle Lindbergh proceeded to drive his Big Wheel directly into a school. [Canwest]...

Evil Russians, Selfish Canadians Go To War Over Rubber And Graphite
Just when you thought the drama over Sidney Crosby's misplaced gear had subsided, representatives from two nations go to war with the Hockey HOF over ownership. The antagonists are a private collector from Russia, and...the city of Vancouver?...

Amber Alert In Canada After Hockey Trading Cards Vanish
If an insured shipment of hockey trading cards is shipped from Newfoundland, when will it arrive in Ontario? Trick question; the post office will steal lose it. If you have any information, you know what to do. [UPI]...

Canadians Also Win Gold For Synchronized Peeing
The City of Edmonton charted water consumption during the hockey gold medal game and found that the whole damn town apparently saved its "business" for the intermissions. [Pat's Papers]...

Canada <em>Still</em> Hung Up On That Hockey Game, Apparently
A video package of Canadian Olympic highlights, culminating in Sidney Crosby's goal, played during the Star-Spangled Banner at last night's Sens-Rangers game. Ottawa says it was a malfunction and apologized, but we've gone to war over less. [NY Post]...

Sportswriter Gil LeBreton Compares Vancouver 2010 To Berlin 1936
The Vancouver Olympics were an impressive display of Canadian pride and ambition, culminating in the most dominating hometown performance in the history of the Winter Games. You know who else liked dominating the Olympics, don't you? HITLER!...

Canada Wins The Olympics
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Canadians, who became the most successful Olympic hosts ever by not acting like a bunch of Canadians. Nice countries finish last, you know....

Your USA-Canada Open Thread
To be clear: this would be no miracle. But let's not forget the NHL booked the American players' flights back to their teams for this morning, because they weren't supposed to be here. Discuss North American supremacy in the comments....

The Canadian Woman, Seen Here In Her Natural Habitat
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Last Night's Winner: Canadian Pride
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Canadians who, for the first time ever, have a reason to feel good about hosting the Olympics. Chin up, gang! You're good at stuff too!...

Blame Canada, Says Canada
Somebody's got to be the scapegoat for the host nation's disappointing medal count. The athletes, for not living up to expectations? The COC for setting unrealistic expectations? The fans for being too passionate? Bingo....

Everything Tiger Woods Does Is Funnier In Retrospect
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Locker Room Boxing May Be Leading To Canada's Hockey Downfall
A shocking exposé by the Toronto Star has revealed a dark secret of Canadian youth hockey—twisted teenage Fight Clubs organized in team locker rooms. It also revealed another secret: This happens all time and no one cares....