canada Page 19 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Entire Canadian Football Team Suspended For Steroids
Nine University of Waterloo football players are suspected of possible steroid use, so the team's entire season has been canceled. (There may have been a smidgen of drug trafficking, too.) That's Canada, for you. Always so....reasonable. [OttawaCitizen]...
Weekend Loser: Adam Jones
Orioles centerfielder Adam Jones was wrongly detained by Canadian authorities Thursday night in the first example of Canada's No Criminal Baseball Players Allowed rule, likely because he shares his name with a troublemaking footballer/video game....
Playing The Blue Jays In Toronto? Leave Your Felons At Home
The MLB Players Association sent a warning to all their player agents that Canadian immigrations officials have recently detained non-Canadian players at the border, due to prior criminal records. Not that agents would know anyone like that, they're just sayin'....
9-Year-Old Beer-Drinking Hockey Players, aka Regular Canadians
A Saskatoon youth hockey team is under fire after posting a video showing the mites with open cans and bottles of beer. Little Pelle Lindbergh proceeded to drive his Big Wheel directly into a school. [Canwest]...
Evil Russians, Selfish Canadians Go To War Over Rubber And Graphite
Just when you thought the drama over Sidney Crosby's misplaced gear had subsided, representatives from two nations go to war with the Hockey HOF over ownership. The antagonists are a private collector from Russia, and...the city of Vancouver?...
Amber Alert In Canada After Hockey Trading Cards Vanish
If an insured shipment of hockey trading cards is shipped from Newfoundland, when will it arrive in Ontario? Trick question; the post office will steal lose it. If you have any information, you know what to do. [UPI]...
Canadians Also Win Gold For Synchronized Peeing
The City of Edmonton charted water consumption during the hockey gold medal game and found that the whole damn town apparently saved its "business" for the intermissions. [Pat's Papers]...
Canada <em>Still</em> Hung Up On That Hockey Game, Apparently
A video package of Canadian Olympic highlights, culminating in Sidney Crosby's goal, played during the Star-Spangled Banner at last night's Sens-Rangers game. Ottawa says it was a malfunction and apologized, but we've gone to war over less. [NY Post]...
Sportswriter Gil LeBreton Compares Vancouver 2010 To Berlin 1936
The Vancouver Olympics were an impressive display of Canadian pride and ambition, culminating in the most dominating hometown performance in the history of the Winter Games. You know who else liked dominating the Olympics, don't you? HITLER!...
Canada Wins The Olympics
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Canadians, who became the most successful Olympic hosts ever by not acting like a bunch of Canadians. Nice countries finish last, you know....
Your USA-Canada Open Thread
To be clear: this would be no miracle. But let's not forget the NHL booked the American players' flights back to their teams for this morning, because they weren't supposed to be here. Discuss North American supremacy in the comments....
The Canadian Woman, Seen Here In Her Natural Habitat
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Last Night's Winner: Canadian Pride
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Canadians who, for the first time ever, have a reason to feel good about hosting the Olympics. Chin up, gang! You're good at stuff too!...
Blame Canada, Says Canada
Somebody's got to be the scapegoat for the host nation's disappointing medal count. The athletes, for not living up to expectations? The COC for setting unrealistic expectations? The fans for being too passionate? Bingo....
Everything Tiger Woods Does Is Funnier In Retrospect
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Locker Room Boxing May Be Leading To Canada's Hockey Downfall
A shocking exposé by the Toronto Star has revealed a dark secret of Canadian youth hockey—twisted teenage Fight Clubs organized in team locker rooms. It also revealed another secret: This happens all time and no one cares....
Boorish Canadians Make Our Favorite Curler Cry
The host nation's medal count is always higher than normal for a reason: the screaming crowds that psych up the natives, and psych out the visitors. But now they've gone too far; they've made Maddy cry....
UK/Canada Spat Uncharacteristically Crude, Penis-Related
The English papers have been taking shots at Canada's running of the games. One Canadian columnist fires back with accusations of premature ejaculation. Yep. We've reached that point....
Rick Reilly® Escalates Personal War With Canada
The Rickster apologies for his lame anti-Canuck jokes by crafting even more lame anti-Canuck jokes and sneaking in a brag about the vindaloo-like qualities of his smoking hot wife. Wait until he hears about the electric Zambonis. [ESPN]...
Canada Limited Luger's Training Time In Olympic Runup
We are reminded that Whistler Sliding Centre was among the venues that Canada refused to let other nations' athletes practice on before February, in an attempt to gain a home-country advantage. [NY Times]...