candy - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
When presented with the lesser of two evils, pray
I’ve never watched 90-Day Fiancé because I’d rather take an eyedropper full of corrosive acid to the iris, but I imagine Chelsea fans are awaiting the sale of their club with the same angst and uncertainty all these 90-Day Fiancé idiots have during their short courtship. (If that’s not how that show...
The last time these teams won...
After a thrilling weekend of walk-off field goals, two-minute drill exhibitions, and not leaving your couch for seven hours at a time, the field has narrowed down to the final four teams as we head into conference championship Sunday. We’ve got somewhat of an unexpected lineup here, with the excepti...
Candies To Stress Eat While You Watch The World Series Game Tonight, Ranked
This World Series is depressing as hell, just like many other things that are happening right now and which we have no control over. Neither the Houston Astros nor the Washington Nationals (my team) have managed to win a home game. At Game 3, people were literally crying as we left the stadium, whic...
Christmas Candy Vs. Halloween Candy: Who Ya Got?!
Today we’re talking about groomzillas, NFL bye weeks, Olive Garden, shitty teams, and more....
Candy Versus Booze: Who Ya Got?!<em></em>
Today, we’re talking about woke Axl Rose, salt, rich assholes who exercise a lot, and more....
The Cotton Candy Hot Dog Will Kill Us All
If you haven’t eaten breakfast or lunch yet today, it may be exceedingly difficult to do so now. Over the weekend, the Erie Seawolves, the Double-A affiliate of the Detroit Tigers, unveiled a special product for their Sugar Rush Night. It is the kind of special anti-treat that you will never be able...
Mike Leach's Opinion On Candy Corn: Just As Awful As Fruitcake And Mint Juleps
The traditional season for candy corn is coming to a close, but before it does, Washington State head coach Mike Leach is here to offer his thoughts: it’s bad. This is why it’s only served once a year, much like fruitcake or mint juleps, which are similarly terrible in Leach’s mind:...
Peeps Are The Worst Seasonal Candy
Easter is upon us. You know this—even if you don’t have a grandmother sending increasingly frantic texts asking what time you’ll be there for dinner on Sunday—because the commercials have all gone pastel and there are goddamn Peeps everywhere. If you don’t care about the religious significance, East...
Cavs Fan Promises To Eat Ancient Mark Price Bar If Cleveland Wins
Cavaliers fan Tim Brady has sworn he will consume a long-frozen Mark Price chocolate bar if Cleveland wins an NBA title. We can tell him from personal experience that this is a very bad idea....
Adorable Kid Thinks Candy Corn Is A Candle, Tosses It In The Garbage
A YouTuber named Kyle Quinn gave some candy corn (which is garbage) to an outrageously cute sixth-grader in China. That sixth-grader thought it was a candle, and threw it in the trash. That sixth grader is the best sixth grader....
Candy Bars, Ranked Competently
Yeah. We tried to stick to physical bars here, with one notable exception; overall, this experience was way less contentious staff-wise than that whole superheroes thing. RIP Bar None. This supersedes any previous rankings. Thank you for your time....