cardinals Page 31 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Mayor Of St. Louis Is A Complete Dipshit
It's October, which means it's time for St. Louis Cardinals fans like Will Leitch to go skipping out of the five-and-dime wearing their propeller beanies and poisoning America with their phony brand of trumped-up goody-goodyism....

Important Update: NYT's Math Also Rates Cardinals The Damned Worst
The New York Times is standing shoulder-to-shoulder with the Wall Street Journal on the issue of the least sympathetic, most contemptible MLB playoff team....

Important WSJ Study: The Cardinals Are The Most Hateable Playoff Team
According to science, the Cardinals are the most hateable team in in the MLB playoffs. ...

The Cardinals Took Care Not To Celebrate In The Diamondbacks' Pool
The Cardinals found themselves in much the same position as the Dodgers did a year ago: at Chase Field, about to clinch the division. Would they celebrate the same way, by diving into the right-field pool and peeing all over the unwritten rules? They would not, because the Cardinals are class person...
![This Cardinals Fan's Playoff Music Video Makes Me Want To Fight Things [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
This Cardinals Fan's Playoff Music Video Makes Me Want To Fight Things [UPDATE]
We know what time it is. The St. Louis Cardinals clinched a playoff berth, which means that St. Louis Cardinal fans—the worst, wackest, whitest fanbase in all of sports—are going to hit us with an indescribably corny music video....

Brawl Hero In Darnell Dockett Jersey Gets To Meet Darnell Dockett
On Monday, video of a particularly nasty brawl between Cardinals and 49ers fans made its way around the internet, and one participant in particular caught the eye of Cardinals defensive end Darnell Dockett....

Baseball's Best Fans
The Cubs topped St. Louis tonight on a walk-off, leaving at least one Cards fan to tarnish some otherwise friendly confines....

Brawl At Cardinals Game Goes Tumbling Down The Stairs
We can learn three things from this brawl....

Kolten Wong Autographs Baseball With Nonexistent Bible Verse
Reader Chad sent along a photo of his friend's baseball, autographed by Cardinals second baseman Kolten Wong. Under his signature, Wong referenced a Bible verse: "Psalms 3:16." That verse does not exist....

Cops: Jonathan Dwyer Broke Wife's Nose, Assaulted 1-Year-Old Son
Cardinals running back Jonathan Dwyer's arrest yesterday on a slew of domestic violence charges steams from a pair of incidents in July, police said, that allegedly involved Dwyer assaulting his wife and 18-month-old son then threatening to harm himself if she called the cops....

Cards RB Jonathan Dwyer Arrested In Domestic-Violence Incident
Arizona Cardinals running back Jonathan Dwyer was arrested today on domestic violence allegations following an incident with his wife....

Cardinals Linebacker John Abraham Suffering From Severe Memory Loss
Arizona Cardinals linebacker John Abraham suffered a concussion in the team's win over the Chargers on Monday night, and it may have been one too many for him. According to Adam Schefter, Abraham left the team after the game, possibly for good. ...

Old Cardinals Fan: Porn-y Fast Food Ad Made Stan Musial Cry In Heaven
A gentleman by the name of Steve Rupp has penned a letter to the editors of the St. Louis Post Dispatch, and it is a wonderful letter that you should go read. It is a letter that could have only been written by a very old man who is also a Cardinals fan....

Ex-NFLer Max Hall Arrested On Suspicion Of Shoplifting, Coke Possession
Former Arizona Cardinals quarterback Max Hall was arrested on suspicion of shoplifting and narcotics possession Friday at a Best Buy in Gilbert, Ariz....
![Yep, That's An Idiot's Dong Featured On ESPN.com [NSFW]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/vbmcnxwu1jgw4cs8rbhl.jpg)
Yep, That's An Idiot's Dong Featured On ESPN.com [NSFW]
Tonight's Cubs-Cardinals game in St. Louis was interrupted by an Idiot On The Field who invaded Busch Stadium's turf clad only in a pair of boxers. One AP photographer spotted the hooligan just as he was apprehended with his junk hanging out the fly of his shorts; ESPN proceeded to put the photo on ...

Cardinals Fan Has No Idea He's About To Get Hit With A Flying Bat
You might say this GIF is too long. You would be wrong, and have no understanding of things like delayed gratification and rising action, but you might say something stupid like "this GIF is too long." Do yourself a favor: don't say that, and just watch. It's beautiful. ...

Why Your Team Sucks 2014: Arizona Cardinals
Some people are fans of the Arizona Cardinals. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Arizona Cardinals. This 2014 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....

Giants Protest Rain-Shortened Loss, Win First Appeal In MLB Since 1986
This is neat. Thanks to the tarp shenanigans at Wrigley Field Tuesday night, the Giants-Cubs game was called after a four-hour and 34-minute delay. With four-and-a-half innings in the books and the field an unplayable mess, crew chief Hunter Wendelstedt called the game, and awarded the Cubs a 2-0 wi...

John Lackey Traded A Babe Ruth Autographed Ball For His Uniform Number
Save for a brief stint alongside Victor Martinez, John Lackey has worn No. 41 his entire professional life. But ahead of the deadline, he was traded to the Cardinals, who already had a No. 41 in reliever Pat Neshek. Favorite numbers don't come cheap....