Old Cardinals Fan: Porn-y Fast Food Ad Made Stan Musial Cry In Heaven

A gentleman by the name of Steve Rupp has penned a letter to the editors of the St. Louis Post Dispatch, and it is a wonderful letter that you should go read. It is a letter that could have only been written by a very old man who is also a Cardinals fan.

Mr. Rupp's beef is with always having to see a dumb, sexified commercial for a shitty fast food joint every time he sits down to watch the Cards with his family. To be fair to Old Man Rupp, the commercial in question is very pornographic, but it's hard to remain completely on his side when he drops this bomb:

I couldn't help but think of Stan Musial, the standard bearer of the Cardinals and a man of impeccable character. He had to be looking down from heaven with tears in his eyes.

Damn. Imagine poor Stan Musial, just hanging out in heaven like a cool guy and saying, "Hey, I think I'm gonna watch the Cardinals on TV today, because we have TVs in heaven and I choose to watch the team that way rather than just looking down at the game itself, as all celestial beings are capable of. Oh dang, it's a commercial break. Well, I'll just wait patiently because I really don't have anything else to do in heav—Wha... what is that lady doin' on that car? Oh no! What's she doin' with that burger?! I think I'm gonna cry!"

/Cries.

[ Post-Dispatch]