cardinals Page 9 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Recommitted Cardinals Star Patrick Peterson Hit With Six-Game PED Suspension
Arizona Cardinals all-world cornerback Patrick Peterson has been suspended by the NFL for the first six games of the 2019-20 regular season, for violation of the league’s policy on performance enhancing substances. According to Mike Garafolo of NFL Network, Peterson’s suspension includes four games ...
The Cardinals’ hacking scandal has finally paid off for the Houston Astros. Corbin Martin, who was selected 56th overall in 2017 with the top pick that MLB made St. Louis hand over as punishment, started on the mound for Houston on Sunday for his Major League debut. Martin had 9 Ks, 1 BB and 2 ER th...
Choosing Football Has Already Paid Off For Kyler Murray
Kyler Murray officially became a part of the Arizona Cardinals on Thursday when the first-overall pick signed his rookie contract with the team. His deal, according to multiple reports, is a standard four-year contract with a fifth-year option. He’ll be earning over $35.2 million guaranteed over tha...
Steve Keim Has Built Something Beautifully Dumb In The Desert
For a while there was at least Ryan Grigson, and that was enough. A perfectly rectangular former NFL lineman partial to tactical sunglasses and oddly shiny suits, Grigson always projected the sense that he was imagining himself as the lead in a 1990s action movie called Executive Force. In his first...
More Like Adam Wayne-Rooney, Am I Right
The perennially overhyped Washington Nationals loaded the bases against Cardinals pitcher Adam Wainwright in the second inning of Tuesday night’s game in D.C. The bad news for Nationals fans is, they did it on an intentional walk of eighth batter Wilmer Difo, which put pitcher Aníbal Sánchez at the...
Josh Rosen Handles Cardinals Exit Maturely While Steve Smith Is Left To Find Another Young Player To Get Mad At For No Reason
The instant that the Cardinals selected Kyler Murray with the first-overall pick in the NFL Draft, the conversation surrounding Josh Rosen’s future with the franchise went from wondering if he’ll be the team’s starting quarterback next season, to wondering when he’ll get traded and where he’ll go....
Cardinals Pick Kyler Murray First Overall, Stuff Josh Rosen In The Attic
Back in October, Texas Tech’s then-head coach Kliff Kingsbury had high praise for the Oklahoma quarterback his team was about to face, Kyler Murray. He told reporters that if he could, he’d take Murray with the first pick of the draft. The Cardinals appeared to take that comment into serious conside...
Dexter Fowler Kindly Helps Noah Syndergaard Get His First Home Run Of The Season
Mets pitcher, and hand, foot and mouth disease survivor, Noah Syndergaard was up 2-1 in the count against Dakota Hudson in the top of the fourth. On the following pitch, Syndergaard swung and sent the ball deep to center field. Cardinals outfielder Dexter Fowler began tracking the ball back towards ...
The Cardinals Were Dumb Enough To Pitch To Christian Yelich Again
How did they not learn? One day after Brewers outfielder Christian Yelich smacked three taters and dropped seven RBI on them in a 10-7 win, the St. Louis Cardinals chose to pitch to him again. Why, idiots?...
Christian Yelich Has Been A Human Fireball Against The Cardinals
When Christian Yelich homered in the first four games of the season, all of which were against the St. Louis Cardinals, it was a fun curio—a hot streak carried over from the Brewers right fielder’s MVP season last year and a great player being great in an unusual way. Gabe Fernandez even wrote about...
Marcell Ozuna Demonstrates The Dangers Of Trying Too Hard
In the top of the eighth inning with nobody on and nobody out, Kiké Hernandez hit the ball deep into left field. Thinking the ball had been absolutely crushed, Cardinals left fielder Marcell Ozuna decided to try and set himself up to make a catch that would be a strong contender for the season’s bes...
Universe Rewards Home Plate Umpire For Defending His Crew Mate By Directing A Fastball Into His Junk
This delightful baseball sequence begins with Cardinals third baseman Matt Carpenter leading off the top of the 11th inning against Pirates hurler Steven Brault. With the count at 2–2, Brault threw a breaking pitch down and away, and Carpenter appeared to check his swing. Third base umpire Jordan Ba...
UConn Is Still UConn, Which Means They're Back In The Final Four
For the first time since before their historic streak of Final Four appearances began, the Connecticut Huskies weren’t favored by the NCAA Selection Committee to win their region and advance. UConn was a surprising two seed, not a one this year, but in their Elite Eight battle today against top-seed...
Vile Cardinals Thwarted By Lorenzo Cain's Game-Ending Dong-Robbery
Opening Day, baby! Many good teams—the Yankees, the Dodgers, the Phillies, the Astros, the A’s—looked impressive; certain lousy teams—looking straight at you, Orioles—looked inept in a way that is possible to find charming in the very first game of the year. But wherever your team fell in all of thi...
Asia Durr Did It All For Louisville
Top-seeded Louisville beat Michigan without a whole lot of stress, winning 71-50 in their second-round matchup with the Wolverines to go to their third Sweet 16 in a row. The Cardinals got to relax in large part thanks to the stellar play of high-scoring senior guard Asia Durr, who as usual had an ...
Patrick Peterson: Upon Second Thought, I Shall Ride The Towering Assberg
Back in October, with his horrid Cardinals stuck at 1–6 and playing like a gigantic ass that was pooped out by an even larger ass, Pro Bowl cornerback Patrick Peterson reached the end of his rope and demanded a trade, sending word through Adam Schefter that he “desperately” wanted a change of scener...
Let's Remember Some Guys Who Threw Terrible Passes At Larry Fitzgerald
Larry Fitzgerald is not ready to sit at home and get better at trolling his son. Today the Arizona Cardinals announced that the wide receiver would return for another season, his 16th with the team....
Sensitive Pee Baby Yadier Molina Didn't Like Kris Bryant Calling St. Louis "Boring"
The Chicago Cubs held their annual fan convention over the weekend, and one of the festivities was former Cubs pitcher Ryan Dempster hosting a mock late night show with current Cubs players as his guests. This was a chance for players to “cut loose” and “show their real personalities,” and that led...
This Was Somehow Called An Unsportsmanlike Foul On Louisville
Either Notre Dame’s Brianna Turner slipped or she’s a shameless flopper, but regardless of how she ended up on the floor, Louisville forward Bionca Dunham shouldn’t have been hit with a flagrant-1 for simply playing defense here....
I Regret To Inform You That Stephen A. Smith Is In A Feud With The Arizona Cardinals
Stephen A. Smith is constantly whapping back and forth between the poles that make up his on-air persona: entertainer and dummy. At the latter, it can be really bad, like when he’s breaking down a matchup by citing three different players who are no longer with the team, or much more harmfully, lett...