champ Page 95 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Once Sad Posers, Arsenal Are Playing Like England's Best Team
Arsenal played Napoli yesterday in a vital Champions League match. It was important because they were drawn into the group of death in the most prestigious club tournament in the world, so of course any points they could pick up at home against last year's Italian runners-up would help them advance ...
Mario Balotelli Dives In The Box In 92nd Minute To Fuck Over Ajax
This is what getting dicked looks like....
Watch Marco Reus Score This Stupid Goal From Really, Really Far Away
This is so dumb....
Mesut Özil's First Goal For Arsenal Was Kind Of Amazing
We all know about Mesut Özil by now. The 24-year-old playmaker is the truth. From the moment he first took the pitch for Arsenal last month, he's been setting up goals for his teammates, even though he's been unable to find the net himself since moving from Real Madrid. But that finally changed toda...
José Mourinho Says He Isn't Worried About Chelsea. Maybe He Should Be.
Yesterday, Chelsea started their Champions League campaign by losing at home against Swiss champions FC Basel, 2-1. And that's OK....
Jürgen Klopp Is, Uh, Upset
FEEL THE RAGE. After Borussia Dortmund conceded a 29th-minute goal to Napoli's Gonzalo Higuaín, manager Jürgen Klopp took out his anger on the fourth official and was sent off....
The Champions League Group Of Death Is Just Hilarious
There are 32 teams left after the Champions League playoff round ended yesterday, and so today was the Champions League draw, where the teams were divided into eight groups of four for the group stage of the tournament. There will be plenty of analysis and explanation and bloviation around the inter...
Celtic Advance In Champions League On Late Goal, Avenge Murdered Sheep
Scottish soccer club Celtic were home to Kazakh side Shakhter Karagandy today in the second leg of the Champions League playoff round. After sacrificing a sheep, Shakhter beat Celtic 2-0 last week, and were the favorites to make it to the Champions League group stage. To advance on aggregate, Celtic...
Here's Arsenal's Laurent Koscielny Getting His Face Obliterated
This happened in the first half of Arsenal's Champions League playoff match away to Fenerbahçe. Fener forward Webó's strike caused the center back to collapse and bleed everywhere. He had to be subbed off. Yellow card....
Arsenal Are Well And Truly Fucked
Today, English club Arsenal are playing Turkish side Fenerbahçe in the first leg of the Champions League playoff round. The match comes four short days after the Gunners were beaten handily at home by Aston Villa, 3-1, in the first match of this Premier League season. And now, chaos....
Announcers Go Berserk When Real Sociedad Scores A True Team <em>Golazo</em>
Real Sociedad's Champions League bout against Lyon is turning out to be a true spectacle for the visiting side, after this astounding half-volley goal from range by Haris Seferović that was set up by a series of gorgeous passes on the throw-in....
How To Drink Champagne Without Becoming Even More Broke Than Usual
Let me begin with an uninformed and yet almost certainly accurate assumption: you drink champagne at most twice a year, one of which is the perfunctory glass on New Year's Eve that you end up blaming for your hangover the next morning instead of the 14 Red Bull vodkas you blasted between 1 and 3 a.m...
Jason Dufner Sleeps With The Wanamaker Trophy
Winning a major is a big deal. Winning that first major at age 36, when it may have seemed like it was never going to happen? That's the kind of thing that makes you never want to let go of the trophy....
Jason Dufner Grabs First Major, Pats Wife's Butt
Auburn grad and good ole boy Jason Dufner celebrated his PGA Championship win with a hug and a derrière dap for his wife, Amanda on national TV....
Ian Poulter Currently "Winding People Up," Trolling Howard Stern
Ian Poulter had a rough go of it at the PGA Championship—not as rough as Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson did, but bad enough that he was well out of contention on Sunday. This has allowed him ample time to air out fans who yell things at golf tournaments, and get a response from Howard Stern....
Who Had The Worse Shitty Week: Tiger Or Phil?
Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson each had awful weeks at the PGA Championship. But we have an important question that needs answering: ¿Quien fue más malo?...
Woodpeckers Can't Get Concussions, Will Muschamp Says (And He's Right)
Florida coach Will Muschamp is not known for his learnedness, but he dropped a little science during a press conference today, telling the assembled reporters a strange-but-true fact: Woodpeckers can't get concussions....
These Crazy Posters Will Get You So Amped For Fencing
The 2013 World Fencing Championships will be kicking off in Budapest on August 5, and the organizers of the event have come up with a creative way to get fans excited about this year's competition: crazy-ass posters!...
David Ortiz Got Champagne And A Sad Note On His Record-Breaking Night
Red Sox slugger David Ortiz became the all-time hits leader at the designated hitter position last night. What kind of gift did the Red Sox get him to celebrate the occasion? Based on the photo above, which came from teammate Jacoby Ellsbury's Twitter account, all he got was some champagne and what ...