champ Page 96 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
German Announcers Lose Their Minds Over Dortmund Goal
An 87th minute strike from Kevin Grosskreutz put Dortmund over Marseille and into the Champions League round of 16. Here's the call from the Dortmund radio crew. (If you have headphones in, this video gets loud.)...
Schalke 04 Goes Up 2-0 On Basel Thanks To Having Four Guys Offside
Schalke 04 scored a massive goal in its attempt to advance from the UEFA Champions League Group E when Joel Matip took advantage of a failed Basel offside trap—or, more accurately, a blunder by the linesman....
Champions League Match Postponed Due To Biblical Hailstorm
This is just stupid. The final Champions League group stage games are this week, with the top two teams in each of the eight, four-team groups advancing to the Round of 16. Most of today's matches had something riding on them with the final group standings still unresolved, but perhaps the most exci...
East Lansing Police Want To Find "Burn The Couch" Guy On Facebook
The East Lansing Police Department uploaded this picture—which appears to be a photo of a television—to its Facebook page requesting information about the dude holding the "Burn The Couch" sign at the Big Ten Championship, some 254 miles away....
Sad Urban Meyer Eats Papa John's After Loss
Oh man, this is sad. That is definitely Schnatter's face. I bet he didn't even shake up the garlic sauce. ...
This Dude Just Won $100,000 Throwing A Football Like An Asshole
This is Brooks. He just won $100,000 at the SEC Championship throwing a football like a straight-up asshole. Who throws a football like that? ...
Ajax Beat Barcelona To Keep Their Champions League Hopes Alive
Netherlands side Ajax hosted Spanish giants FC Barcelona today in a must-win match to keep their hopes of qualifying for the Champions League knockout stage alive. AC Milan, ahead of Ajax by a single point, thumped Celtic by three goals in Group H's other match today, which meant that a loss would e...
Will Muschamp Left Bloodied After Scuffle With A Chalkboard
Florida lost to South Carolina 19-14 Saturday night, but it wasn't for a lack of halftime fire-up violence from coach Will Muschamp. "'I hit a chalkboard,' he said after the game. 'Dumb.'"...
The Final BCS Champion Will Be Legitimate, Like Always
Rumors of the BCS's humiliation were greatly exaggerated. While many in the college football playoff camp would have liked nothing more than to see a BCS Armageddon with undefeated Alabama, Oregon, and Florida State teams, last week's results prove once again that the current system is not the booge...
Zlatan Ibrahimovic Opens Wormhole With Ridiculous Strike
Please, Zlatan, we have accepted you as Soccer God, do not use your powers for evil!...
Russian Soccer Fans Were Racist Today. But Were They Racist Enough?
Champions League soccer is back on today, and English side Manchester City traveled to Russia to play CSKA Moscow. City won, 2-1. City have the better team, so the result itself isn't shocking. But going to Russia to play soccer sucks. It's far. It's cold. The environment is oppressive. CSKA are act...
Facebook Map: The Manchester United States Of America
Champions League action resumes today, but who is America rooting for? The map above, using data provided by Facebook, shows which of the qualifying teams have the most "likes," by state. While Americans like to make fun of all the people overseas who randomly wear Yankees caps, it's a clean sweep i...
Stay Out Of The Kitchen: Day One At The World Shuffleboard Championship
A dozen pale Norwegians seek shelter among the 200 stadium seats, mercifully covered by a roof. A young, bearded American wrings out a wet towel over his bald head. An orange-clad Dutchman creaks by, white hair poking out from beneath a Florida Gators baseball cap. Elderly Japanese men stretch agai...
Von Miller's Return Will Make Denver Absolutely Terrifying
Oh hey, Von Miller's back this week. Seems like as good a time as any to remind you that Denver has been this dominant with one of the best pass rushers in the league sitting on his ass....
FC Bayern Fillet City: How The World's Best Team Is Getting Better
Yesterday, defending Champions League winners FC Bayern took on England's Manchester City in the most fascinating matchup of the tournament so far. The German side proved themselves the world's best by traipsing through the tournament last year, and only improved in the offseason. They brought on Pe...
Let's All Watch This Ridiculous, Game-Winning 92nd-Minute Free Kick
Jens Hegeler from 30 yards in stoppage time. Bayer Leverkusen 2, Real Sociedad 1. Thanks for coming....
Here's Pepe Getting A Gash In His Face Stapled Shut On The Pitch
Real Madrid defender Pepe got his face busted open during a Champions League match today. He then got the gash on his face stapled closed right there on the pitch. Click through for a wince-inducing GIF of the stapling....
Once Sad Posers, Arsenal Are Playing Like England's Best Team
Arsenal played Napoli yesterday in a vital Champions League match. It was important because they were drawn into the group of death in the most prestigious club tournament in the world, so of course any points they could pick up at home against last year's Italian runners-up would help them advance ...
Mario Balotelli Dives In The Box In 92nd Minute To Fuck Over Ajax
This is what getting dicked looks like....