children Page 8 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Real Madrid's Iker Casillas Wiped His Boogers On A Child's Face
Real Madrid's Champions League first leg against APOEL was three days ago, but video is only now emerging of the most exciting thing to happen in that mismatch: Real keeper Iker Casillas wiping his nose, then wiping his hand on the face of one of those kids who lead the players onto the pitch. Nev...

Polish U8 Soccer Match Abandoned After Fans Light Flares, Generally Go Nuts
Poland has a history of fans disrupting youth soccer games, for what we suspect are shits and giggles. Here's another one—undated, with no details, but at one point a fan is shown with the flag of FC Wągrowiec (apparently distinct from third-tier side Nielba Wągrowiec)....

Dancing Canucks Kid Is Sexy And He Knows It
Even less concerned with the judgment of strangers? The guy behind him, drinking his Mike's Hard Lemonade. [via Hot Clicks]...

If You Give A Mouse A Cookie, You're Fucked: 10 Tips For Avoiding Terrible Children's Books
As you may have heard, Jan Berenstain, the lady who co-created the Berenstain Bears series, died this week. And it’s measure of how bad those books are that some people wasted no time dancing on her grave. Now, it’s incredibly crass and rude to rip into a poor old woman who just died. But those book...

Mario Chalmers Just Found Out That He Has A 20-Month Old Daughter Named "Queen Elizabeth"
Congratulations to the Heat guard. If money's tight, he can always cut the $2000 he spends monthly on the most unnecessary bodyguard in the world. [Miami New Times]...

20,000 Screaming Children Watch A Soccer Match
The last time AZ Alkmaar came to town, an Ajax fan attacked their keeper. AZ was pulled off the field, and the Dutch FA later declared the game a wash. Today was the replay, but due to the Netherlands' — and specifically's Ajax's — problems with ultras, the match was supposed to be played in an empt...

Former Pro Golfer Netted In Massive Sex Sting
Steve Thomas, who's played 78 tournaments on the PGA and Champions Tours (though none since 2010), was among 40 people arrested in an Osceola County (Fla.) Sheriff's Office sting operation. "Operation Red Cheeks" set Thomas up to believe he was negotiating for sex with a minor....

Maryland Student Gets In Trouble For Showing His Ball So Hard University Pride
It's hard to blame this 12-year-old from Bel Air, Md., for wearing his Ball So Hard University sweatshirt to school earlier this week. BSHU is one of the more prestigious research institutions in the country, and either the kid has a sibling who goes there, or hopes to attend himself, or is just a b...

Precocious And Horrifying Four-Year-Old Kills Two Deer With Shotgun
Ohio or Florida? Trick question; it's Virginia, one of the few states that doesn't have a minimum age for hunting. Little James Futrell, returns after winter break having grown up faster than his pre-kindergarten classmates. He has stalked the beast, and bathed in its blood....

Even At Kim Jong-Il's Funeral, A Yankee Fan
"You must wear a hat! We are in mourning for Dear Leader, so you must cover your head, and also you will catch cold. Go find your best hat; only the finest will do today. Something that screams luxury, but also power. Success and skill. Megalomania and a complete inability to feel empathy for anyo...

Parents: Mike Milbury Shook, Screamed At 12-Year-Old Player
Last Friday evening, two Boston-area youth hockey teams got together for their own Winter Classic, to be held outside at the Anderson Rink in Brookline. It was going to be a good time: an exhibition game between the Boch Blazers and the Boston Junior Blackhawks, followed by a family skate and a pizz...

Here's An Adorably Vicious Hockey Brawl With 9-Year-Olds
Making the rounds today is this pro-quality brawl between two Kazakhstani U10 teams. If the biased YouTube uploader is to be believed, it began after the winning Astana team (in white) kept trash talking during the handshake line. What's Kazakh for "I can't believe I shook this guy's frigging hand...

Kindergarteners Welcome New Jaguars Owner With Heartwarming Song, And One Kid's Wearing A "Make It Blaine On Them Hoes" Shirt
Here's Ms. Goleski's kindergarten class in Neptune Beach with their charming rendition of "Shahid Khan Is Coming To Town." Note the young man in back with this "Make It Blaine On Them Hoes" t-shirt, partially covered up by taped-on construction paper. Strong work, Ms. Goleski. [h/t John]...

Buffalo Schoolteachers Charged With Humping In The Bathroom At This Weekend's Bills Game
Making sex in the bathroom is never the brightest nor most hygienic idea, to say nothing of the typical stall conditions at an NFL stadium used by 70,000 people. That goes for fucking on the floor of the pristine new Cowboys Stadium, and it definitely goes for whatever two grade school teachers were...

Florida Mom Wants To Change The Name Of Her Child, Spurrier Urban Wiley
I want to reveal to you a big secret, that college football would rather not have you know: sometimes coaches don't stay with a single team forever, and sometimes they even take other jobs. Scandalous....

Six Year Old Crying Jets Fan Speaks For All Jets Fans, Has A Jerk For A Mom
This video has made the rounds this week, but it hit me in the heart, so I'm posting it....

There Is Finally An Inspirational Children's Book About Danny Woodhead
If every undersized, scrappy professional athlete could have an inspirational children’s book written about him or her, the world would be full of adolescents with overblown expectations about their futures. But since that’s already the case with America’s youth, scraptastic young men like Greg Paul...

Six Weeks Ago, Penn State Dedicated The Gary Schultz Child Care Center
Addressing University Park's shortage of options for young children, Penn State opened an $11 million dollar child care facility over the summer. In early 2010 it was announced that the building would be named for the recently retired Gary Schultz. The same Schultz who is out on bail today, but was ...

"Hit 'Em In The Face As Hard As You Can," Then Pray: Pee-Wee Coach Shows Why Football Won't Be Getting Less Violent
A reader sent in this video of a Texas U6 team getting a pep talk from its coach before a game. He exhorts the Frisco Gators to push hard, be tough, and "hit 'em in the face as hard as you can." (One of his kids corrects him—"in the chest"—to nervous laughter from parents.) But before the face- or...

Turkey Makes Soccer Games Less Drunk, Angry, Riotous By Banning Male Fans
The Turkish soccer association has finally permitted its sanctioned teams to play in front of fans again—so long as those fans are women and children who will not riot and attack journalists....