christ Page 49 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Your Imaginary Boyfriend: Jesus Christ
Welcome back to Your Imaginary Boyfriend/Girlfriend, Jezebel's series in which we explore the wild and entirely fabricated world of dating a famous person. As is the risk with most fan fiction, things might get weird and things might get creepy, but the important thing is that we all have a good tim...
Christian Ponder And Samantha Steele Got Married
Early September-ish: Vikings QB Christian Ponder meets ESPN blonde lady Samantha Steele at a filming of College GameDay. Despite both having jobs that regularly take them around the country, they found time to start a relationship....
Quentin Tarantino, Slave To His Habits: <em>Django Unchained</em>, Reviewed
1. Django Unchained is giddily entertaining, powerful, confident filmmaking by a guy who keeps finding new tricks up his sleeve with every movie. It's a big, sprawling statement that throws everything at the wall and sees what sticks, which has always been one of the strengths of Quentin Tarantino, ...
<em>San Francisco Chronicle</em>: David Stern Schedules Games On Christmas Because He "Celebrates Hanukkah" And "Has No Real Feel For Christmas In The First Place"
Oh, good: Bruce Jenkins took some space in his recent column about the NBA to suggest that David Stern ruined Christmas with basketball because he's Jewish:...
The Texas Basketball Holiday Song Wars Continue: Here Are The Dallas Mavericks, Trying To Sing "Sleigh Ride"
Not to be outdone by their rivals in Houston, who sort of sang the Dreidel Song, the Dallas Mavericks got together to sort of sing a "Sleigh Ride" karaoke. It's pretty good, especially, Chris Kaman, who is funnier than he looks. Rick Carlisle, too, and O.J Mayo, who only makes sound effects. Now a...
The Shitty Parent's Guide To Children's Christmas Presents
Christmas is coming, which gives you a golden opportunity to squander money and add to the mounting clutter inside your home. There are millions of options when it comes to buying presents for your children and then pretending that Santa gave them those presents and then resenting the fact that the ...
All Four Major Commissioners Whined In A Court Record About New Jersey's Plan To Legalize Sports Betting
The state of New Jersey plans to legalize sports wagering as early as January by defying the Professional and Amateur Sports Protection Act of 1992. Governor Chris Christie and other New Jersey lawmakers support this on the theory that it would cut into the profits of the many illegal and offshore s...
Taste Test: Three Weird Santa Candies That Want To Murder You
Our cultural affinity for eating crumbly effigies of supernatural holiday icons (the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, Jesus Christ) only seems weird and slightly unsavory until you consider that we're trying to absorb their mystical powers into ourselves, and then it makes perfect sense. Who wouldn't want...
Santa Fired For Telling A 3-Year-Old The Maple Leafs Suck
Here it is, the best thing to come out of Toronto since this picture of Rob Ford drunk. A mall Christmas market Santa traumatizing the very first child on line to meet him....
The Vikings' Christian Ponder And ESPN's Samantha Steele Are Engaged
It is confirmed, per Richard Deitsch. ESPN's newest star, the lady who worked her way from being a ESPN Zone hostess to college football sideline reporter, is getting hitched to the Vikings' second-year quarterback. Will Ponder's quarterbacking over the last few weeks of the season be a distraction ...
Calculators, George W. Bush Ties: Why You Shouldn't Leave Your Christmas Wish List In The Office's Shared Folder
Time for another edition of Christmas shaming, in which we examine the wish lists of your friends, loved ones, and co-workers. It's a look into the strange wants and materialistic hearts of those who dwell among us. So keep sending them in. Anonymity guaranteed....
The Bro-iest Christmas Wish List Ever Written
Color us shocked—we had no idea that grown-ups A) made wish lists and B) spent hours putting them together. But when we posted a 21-year-old woman's incredibly detailed list yesterday, the feedback was equally split between those who thought she was a spoiled adult baby, and those who didn't see wha...
21-Year-Old Woman's Endless Christmas Wish List Will Make You Want To Punch Something
We reiterate that this person is not a child. She is 21, legally an adult, presumably with or on the verge of full financial independence. Each year the Massachusetts woman creates a wish list, filled with every conceivable thing she might want, and sends it out to her entire family....
Vincible. <em>Silver Linings Playbook</em>, Reviewed.
1. She's a grieving cop's widow, prone to nymphomania, locked away in a shed behind her parents' home, profoundly damaged—not broken, but close. He's a bipolar basket case who nearly beat a man half to death for showering with his wife, the same wife with whom he obsessively wants to reconcile, even...
The Hater's Guide To The Williams-Sonoma Catalog
(The 2013 edition can be found here.)...
Christian Ponder Jokes About His ESPN Girlfriend, Is A Pretty Cool Guy
We like Vikings QB Christian Ponder a lot, and not just because his name is a complete sentence. He seems like a nice, normal guy, who waited all of a month to announce to the world that he was dating ESPN's Samantha Steele. That's still admirable restraint—we would have taken out a full-page ad in ...
Until A Few Minutes Ago, Duke's Official Site Featured A Women's Lacrosse Player Wearing Blackface
The picture you see above is a screenshot from an article on GoDuke.com, the official site for Duke University athletics. In the photo are members of the women's lacrosse team, dressed up like the Little Rascals for Halloween. And wouldn't you know it, the one who dressed up as Buckwheat decided to...
Philosophy Professors Come To The Defense Of Suspended Wyoming Coach Dave "Mr. Fucking Howdy Doody" Christensen
Dave Christensen was suspended for a week and fined after this meltdown following Wyoming's loss to Air Force, in which he accused his counterpart of having the Falcons quarterback fake an injury to stop the clock. Our favorite quote, very to-the-point, was Christensen's accusatory "You have no fu...
A Bloodied Christian Tiffert Got The Last Laugh As Seattle Stole Victory In Salt Lake
One of the best-supported squads in American soccer finally won a playoff series last night, as Seattle Sounders beat Real Salt Lake 1-0 on a rocket one-timer by Mario Martínez in the 81st minute....
Christian Ponder Says To Lay Off His ESPN Girlfriend, She's Not The Reason He's Struggling
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Leave Samantha Steele out of it....