Colorado Sports Fan's Plan To Rob Vape Store Falls Apart After He Drops Gun And Pants

This guy here, by appearances an avid Broncos and Rockies fan, spectacularly failed to rob an E-Cig of Denver store in Colorado on Sept. 2. Fumbling his gun over the counter was a bad start, and failing to secure his pants was a bad follow-up, although he did redeem himself somewhat with a super cool karate kick to…

Kidnapped Shark Found Safe; Thief Confesses To Stealing Her To Replace His Old Shark

We have a very happy update for you in the case of Helen, the horn shark who was the subject of a daring stroller heist this weekend at the San Antonio Aquarium. Not only has Helen been found, but she appears to have been lovingly cared for by her captor, who stole her in the first place because he used to have a horn…

Cops: Trio Stole Shark By Swaddling It Like A Baby, Pushing It Out In A Stroller

If you saw a baby being pushed in a stroller near the San Antonio aquarium on Saturday afternoon, guess what, it might have been a shark. According to Leon Valley police chief Joseph Salvaggio, three enterprising shark thieves made off with a three-foot long horn shark around 2:15 p.m. on Saturday after grabbing it…

Attorney: Man Who Attacked Delicia Cordon Demanded Jewelry Given To Her By LeSean McCoy

An attorney representing LeSean McCoy’s ex-girlfriend, Delicia Cordon, says the man who broke into her house and beat her early Tuesday morning specifically demanded that she give him pieces of jewelry that had been gifted to her by McCoy, who had previously demanded that she return those items. Cordon’s attorney also…

Former NBA Star Kermit Washington Sentenced To Six Years Over Charity Fraud Scheme

Former NBA player Kermit Washington—who played for 10 seasons but is chiefly famous for punching Rudy Tomjanovich so hard he nearly killed him—was sentenced to six years in federal prison and fined $967,158 yesterday for his role in an “extensive charity fraud scheme,” per a release from the Justice Department.…

Report: Escalating Beef Leads To Former NFL Wideout Jabar Gaffney Being Charged With Vandalizing Former Teammate Lito Sheppard's BMW

In what appears to be an appalling case of Gator-on-Gator crime, a warrant has reportedly been issued in Jacksonville, Florida, for the arrest of Jabar Gaffney on felony criminal mischief charges after he allegedly vandalized the BMW of former teammate Lito Sheppard last month. Per the News 4 JAX I-Team:

Criminal Couple's Harrowing Attempt To Escape Convenience Store Features Unbelievable Number Of Plot Twists

A man and a woman visited the King Street Reddi Mart in Spruce Grove, Alberta, Canada on Monday afternoon, and the convenience store owner eventually called the police on suspicion that the man had been using a stolen credit card. By the time the couple left the store, they had lost a shirt and a shoe, gained a deep…

Report: Hanley Ramirez Is Not Connected To Fentanyl Trafficking Ring; Some Asshole Just Tried To Name-Drop Him

After reports on Friday stated that former Red Sox infielder and current free agent Hanley Ramirez was “being eyed in connection with an ongoing federal and state investigation” that involved distribution of the opioid fentanyl, a new report from the Boston Globe says that Ramirez is not being linked to any drug ring.…