da Page 1041 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

American Almost Wins Boston Marathon!
So close. So far. Kenya's Geoffrey Mutai ran the fastest marathon ever, but failed to officially break the world record because of a tailwind. American Ryan Hall finished fourth. The women's race, however, offered the best hope for an American win in 26 years, when Desiree Davila surged past Carol...

Notre Dame's Explanation For Declan Sullivan's Death Is Conciliatory, Still Not Good Enough
Notre Dame has said and done all the right things in the wake of the death of Declan Sullivan, whose scissor lift toppled over in high winds while the junior student was filming practice. (That's somewhat refreshing in light of their less-than-transparent treatment of the suicide of Lizzy Seeburg)....

MLB Won't Let Us Show You Video Of Justin Verlander's Amusing Balk, So Here's A Fucking Drawing I Did Instead
Justin Verlander had a weird little blooper against the A's on Saturday wherein he stepped off the rubber as if to throw to first but wound up going home anyway, nearly plunking David DeJesus in the process. It was funny. We'd show you the video, but if we did Major League Baseball would get its cri...

Jon Barry Can't Stop Giggling At Derrick Rose
Dan Shulman and Jon Barry tried their damndest to properly announce the Bulls-Pacers game on Saturday, but Derrick Rose made it a difficult task. We can't really blame them. Rose had 39 points in Chicago's 104-99 win, and his baskets were, throughout, brilliant. Brilliant enough to make Barry gigg...

We Are All Dave McKenna LXXII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit is bludgeoned to death....

Your NHL Playoffs Open Thread
It's onto Game Threes. The Capitals try to go up 3-0 on the Rangers at 3 p.m. [Washington Post]. The Canucks will attempt to do same to the Blackhawks at 8 p.m. [Vancouver Sun]....

Floyd Mayweather Accompanied 50 Cent To Fight Night At Foxwoods And All He Got Was Booed
Your morning roundup for April 17, the day burglars everywhere accept the fact that trying to rob 81-year-old stroke victim/Korean vet Bobby Smith means they'll get a piping-hot frying pan filled with potatoes across the head....

We Are All Dave McKenna LXXI
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit is reduced to nothingness....

We Are All Dave McKenna LXX
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Daniel Snyder's dumbass libel suit is reduced to powder and not the fun kind (for Daniel Snyder)....

Will The NBA Be Fined For Breaking Its Own Rules In Fining Kobe Bryant?
David Stern hit Kobe Bryant with a $100,000 fine on Wednesday after Bryant called a referee a "fucking faggot" the night prior. Jeremy Singer-Vine at Slate determined that Kobe's fine is unprecedented in NBA history. In fact, it probably violates the NBA's own constitution:...

Here's What Happens When A Same-Sex Couple Considers Kissing On Kiss-Cam
Now that the world has deemed the humorous display of two people of the same gender not kissing on the kiss-cam to be homophobic, what will the world make of the kiss-cam cutting away when two people of the same gender are poised to kiss? Is it homophobic? Is it funny? Does it make you angry?...

NBA Selects Man Who Relocated The Sonics And Lied About It To Head Relocation Committee
It gets worse for Sacramento. David Stern has appointed Clay Bennett, second-most hated man of Seattle and 2008 Oklahoman of the Year, to lead its Relocation Committee. The deadline for the Kings decision has also been extended to May 2....

Swiss Hockey Champion Breaks Really Cheap-Looking Trophy
We know you all were watching the Davos-Kloten game two days ago to see who could capture the David Aebischer Memorial Lucite Cylinder, who would be Micheline Calmy-Rey's sporting equivalent equivalent atop National League A....

We Are All Dave McKenna LXIX (Alleged Arson Edition)
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit burns burns burns. Mwahahahahaha!...

The Cowbell Tolls For The Sacramento Kings
The Kings played what was likely their final game in Sacramento last night, and it ended in a 116-108 overtime loss to the Lakers. The finality of the night, along with a sell-out crowd that showed the kind of affection and made the kind of noise you'd never find at the Staples Center 400 miles so...

Wizards Don't Want You Giggling At The Prospect Of Two Men Kissing On Their Kiss-Cam
Unless you're into losing, the best part of a Wizards game for many years has been the kiss-cam, a silly distraction during timeouts that puts an opposite-sex couple in the crowd on the big screen and urges them to smooch. It's funny because you never know if the people actually will kiss. You don't...

News Reports That Subtly Point Out That Al Davis Is Not In Fact "Doing Fine": A Gallery
There were unsubstantiated reports this week that Raiders owner Al Davis was in declining health and had been in the hospital. The Raiders denied this....

Semin Leads The Capitals To Sweet, Sweaty Extended-Time Victory
Your morning roundup for April 14, the day San Dimas High School football no longer rules in the eyes of the Chinese government....

We Are All Dave McKenna LXVIII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit gets publicly ridiculed like a modern day Hester Prynne who plays the victim card early and often instead of wielding dignity as a weapon....

Listen To These Florida Basketball Players Woozily Plot How To Get Out Of A Burglary Arrest
Two basketball players from the University of Florida — freshman Cody Larson, 18, and sophomore Erik Murphy, 19 — were charged with breaking into a car early Sunday morning. Team manager Joshua Adel was charged with principal to burglary for acting as a lookout as the two followed up on a failed a...