da Page 1253 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
ESPN Trims SportsCenter Fat
In case you were having difficulty spreading out your hate among all the SportsCenter anchors, take heart: They're making it more concentrated for you. In a move that had been anticipated, ESPN announced yesterday that it's going to three two-man teams. And "two-man teams" is accurate too; it's al...
Wells Gets Detention, Call Home to Parents
After his pissed-off comments Monday, Boston pitcher David Wells has been sent to the principal's office. Wells, who blasted commissioner Bud Selig and accused him of covering up steroid results, was summoned to New York to chat with baseball brass. Interestingly enough, Selig himself is unlikely ...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while chasing ghosts with your three friends and a large Great Dane ... • MLB: A's win seventh straight, set stage for disappointing their fans once again in playoffs. • Roddick ousted in U.S. Open despite good looks. • WNBA Playoffs: Indiana Fever beat New York Liberty. Honestly, we...
To Watch Tonight ...
What To Watch After You've Been Cut By The Denver Broncos ... • MLB: A's at Angels. Doesn't it seem that these teams play each other every day? • WNBA Playoffs. The excitement is palpable.* • U.S. Open tennis. Hey, why is the court blue? * = may not be true....
Wells Digs His Own Hole
It's always amusing when Boston elderly punk David Wells pops off, but we have a suspicion that when he verbally attacked commissioner Bud Selig after his six-game suspension for bumping an umpire was upheld, he might have got himself in some real trouble this time....
About Last Night ...
What you missed while calling for the assasination of Hugo Chavez ... • A's complete four-game sweep of Orioles. Strangely, Rafael Palmeiro seems weak and powerless lately for some reason. • Lions make it official, Have the word "hapless" painted on their helmets. • Agassi needs only 69 minutes to a...
Jack McKeon Hates Poultry
Everybody loves the San Diego Chicken, right? How do you not love a chicken? Everybody loves chickens!...
Ah, The Exploitation Of A Child. Always Fun!
You can always count on the sports world to find a way to take advantage of kids. In the wake of last week's news that a Marlins batboy was suspended for speed-drinking a gallon of milk, various folks are stepping up to promote their own agendas, in the guise of "helping out the kid."...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while writing a musical based on the movie "Fargo" ... • Puberty — nature's steroids. Hawaii wins Little League World Series. • Speaking of steroids: Giambi's 7 RBI lift Yankees. • Danica Patrick proves that women drivers are just as capable as men when it comes to ... wait, she just...
Dontrelle Willis Did Not Land On Plymouth Rock
We hadn't noticed — because we're devils, of course — but something rare happened in baseball yesterday: Two black starting pitchers went against each other. Florida's Dontrelle Willis earned his 17th win over the Dodgers' Edwin Jackson, and it has the always sane folks at Black Athlete comparing...
About Last Night ...
What You Missed While Having Nightmares About That "Ranch Tooth" In The Wendy's Commercial ... · Yankees Secure Three-Way Wildcard Tie With Cleveland And Oakland. Somewhere, Woody Allen, Drew Carey and Hammer are in a furious battle. · Cardinals Knock Magic Number Down To 26. Tony LaRussa celebrates...
Clemens Survives ... For Now
Well, it's 5:30, and no announcement from Selig and company about steroids suspensions as has been widely rumored. We're keeping an eye out, but, of course, we'll just ask Michael Kay about it, if we have to....
To Watch Tonight ...
What To Watch While Trying To Get Out Of Painting ... · NFL: Dallas Cowboys at Seattle Seahawks: Enjoy a good quarter of people's names you barely recognize. But hey, John Madden's there. · MLB: Atlanta Braves at Chicago Cubs: It's always annoying when two SuperStation teams play each other. · Littl...
Mark Cuban Burns Himself At The Stake
When Mark Cuban isn't mad about The New York Times, he's moonlighting as owner of the Dallas Mavericks. With everything else that Cuban babbles about, we forget that sometimes. He had to release longtime Maverick Michael Finley this week, and he's all broken up about it. But even more so, he's all...
The Day Of Rumor Reckoning
Well, today's the day. The Interweb has been all abuzz with rumors for days now that Roger Clemens/Johnny Damon/Gary Sheffield were about to be squashed under the steroid hammer of MLB. The Web was so a-twitter about everything that even the dinosaur print reporters noticed what was going on. (Dan...
Road From Bristol Enters Final Four
Time for an update from The Road From Bristol, the 64-"team" tournament allowing voters to choose the most loathsome ESPN personality. We're still awaiting results of Dan LeBatard vs. Tony Reali matchup to select the last of the Final Four. But the winners so far:...
Shapiro Finally Sets ESPN And Viewers Free
It's official: ESPN overlord Mark Shapiro is leaving the network to run Redskins midget Daniel Snyder's bid to take over the Six Flags franchise. (His last day is October 1. Rest assured, you'll be hearing from him — and us — a ton.)...
About Last Night ...
What You Missed While Pretending Not To Watch "Cathouse" In Slow Motion ... · Giants' Randy Winn hits for cycle. Giants wake up in fourth inning, see that Bonds is still hurt, go back to sleep. · Michael Finley released by Dallas. "Mr. Finley, a 'Shack' is on the phone again. Yes, I'll take another ...
Michael Jordan Gets His Beavis On
Gambling legend Michael Jordan is in hot water (get it!) with the Santa Barbara fire department. Jordan is wanted for questioning related to a forest fire last week. A spokesperson says Jordan is not believed to be responsible for the fire but "he would know who is involved."...
Gotcha!
We have been giggling all morning at Marlins third baseman Mike Lowell's successful execution of the hidden-ball trick last night; it's our favorite play in sports. We're hardly alone either. The great archivists at Retrosheet has a collection of all the great hidden-ball tricks of the past. And ...