da Page 935 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Messi's Being Messi Again, And Dani Alves Has A Nuke-Powered Boot
Barcelona holds a 4-3 aggregate edge in the second half of their return trip to Real Madrid in the Copa del Rey, thanks to the illusionist Lionel Messi setting up Pedro for the initial score and then a blistering strike by Dani Alves off a free kick rebound. The goals set up a 4-1 aggregate edge ...

Parents: Don't Put Any Goddamn Candy In The Goodie Bag
I go to a lot of children's birthday parties. These parties are virtually identical. You go to a gym, you take off your kid's shoes, you hand your kid over to the 19-year-old girl making $6 an hour and wearing a bright red or blue shirt with the name of the gym on it (PLAY ZONE! GYMTASTIC! BALLS AND...

A Plea To Joe Posnanski: Stop Writing Mealy-Mouthed Nonsense About Joe Paterno
Sports Illustrated's Joe Posnanski is in a tough spot. He's a gifted writer and by all appearances a decent guy. His decency is his defining characteristic; he grew up rooting for doomed Cleveland teams and covered the worthless Kansas City Royals, but he never gave in to the urge to be a hatchet ma...

This Vancouver Canucks Fan Is Proud To Be Dating An Edmonton Fan
Your morning roundup for Jan. 25, the day we learned oral sex may or may not kill you. Photo via Puck Daddy. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Pennsylvania's Governor Is Officially Sad Joe Paterno Is Dead, After He Officially Helped Fire Him
Gov. Tom Corbett declared yesterday that all flags on state facilities be at half-staff until Joe Paterno is buried. It's a decision that's generating plenty of opinions pro and con, given Paterno's complex legacy in relation to his towering stature in Pennsylvania. But it's curious that Corbett sa...

"I Want Barry Melrose To Shoot On Me," And Other Highlights From Linda Cohn's Stint As A Goaltender
Hey, look! It's hockey on SportsCenter!...

Jason Richardson Entered A Game In The Middle Of A Play Last Night And Got Away With It
The Magic scored just 56 points and made only 16 field goals in their blowout loss to the Celtics, who were without Rajon Rondo and Ray Allen. But that might not have been the worst of it for Orlando: At one point here in the third quarter, they had just four players on the court during a defensiv...

By Dying, Joe Paterno Is Still Protecting Penn State
During the grand jury's investigation of Jerry Sandusky, it was Joe Paterno who provided the testimony that corraborated Mike McQueary's story, which is what led to the perjury and failure to report abuse charges against Penn State athletic director Tim Curley and former vice president for business...

Joe Paterno Now Has A Halo On State College Mural
The massive, ever-changing mural "Inspiration," located near the student book store in downtown State College, has a new addition today: a halo appearing above the head of grandfatherly Joe Paterno. This is the same mural that was altered by its artist to remove Jerry Sandusky after the sex abuse sc...

Ladies And Gentlemen, The Cubs Of Tomorrow
The Idaho Cubs, presented without comment, but with "Party Rock Anthem." [via Big League Stew]...

Things That Killed Joe Paterno, According To The Internet
• "Penn State" • "that Penn State scandal" • "Onward State" • "Twitter" • "ESPN ... with sensational journalism" • "Trustees" • "The Media" • "Jerry Sandusky" • "the Board of Trustees and the media and Sandusky" • "You" (meaning Gov. Tom Corbett) • "The, 'Justice', system" • "Society" • "being fired...

Penn State Students Appear To Be Taking Joe Paterno's Death Well
Uh huh. That's exactly what happened to him. Yep. [SI Vault]...

Yes, This Is CBS Host James Brown Interviewing A Fake Baby
It took CBS all of 15 hours to do something more embarrassing than prematurely reporting Joe Paterno's death. Here's a clip from the network's The NFL Today, something we're pretty sure is an advertisement for E*Trade—though we thought FCC rules mandated such things needed to be disclosed to the ...

Joe Paterno Dies; Paterno Family Releases Statement
The Associated Press is reporting that Joe Paterno has in fact died, according to a statement released by his family this morning. The full text, as provided by the AP, is provided below. ...

Has Rece Davis Driven Digger Phelps To The Depths Of Depression?
Maybe Digger Phelps spends the time before ESPN goes to air with its basketball version of College GameDay in quiet meditation. And maybe he uses an orange highlighter as his focus object, I don't know. But just as Notre Dame was polishing off an upset of undefeated and top-ranked Syracuse, the f...
![Joe Paterno Is Still Alive [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18j4naahk7376jpg.jpg)
Joe Paterno Is Still Alive [UPDATE]
Eye On College Football's Adam Jacobi is reporting that Joe Paterno has passed away following complications associated with chemotherapy he was receiving for lung cancer treatment. (CBS Sports has since retracted that report, after duping organizations far larger than ours.) There are also reports ...
![Joe Paterno Is Reportedly "Near Death" [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18j4nbxonp1lxjpg.jpg)
Joe Paterno Is Reportedly "Near Death" [UPDATE]
Twitter has been abuzz in the last few hours with plenty of rumors about Joe Paterno's deteriorating condition, but Michael Sisak of the Wilkes-Barre (Pa.) Citizens' Voice, citing a source, says Paterno is "near death":...

Duke's 45-Game Home Winning Streak Is Over Thanks To This Florida State Buzzer-Beater
It's about the craziest (sorry, Cameronians) 15 seconds of basketball you'll get in the ACC, as Florida State's Michael Snaer connected with a buzzer-beating three-pointer to down Duke 76-73 just five seconds after the Blue Devils tied it up on an Austin Rivers layup. Credit Luke Loucks for the m...

Florida Law Requires Stadiums to Shelter Homeless On Off Nights; Not A Single One Has Complied
As is the case in most cities with professional franchises, the buildings that host Florida's professional sports teams have been built with the assistance of taxpayer contributions. It's played off as a symbiotic relationship (new stadium means new jobs, more revenue coming in, etc.) but most of t...

Michigan State Head Coach Mark Dantonio Acts Like Michigan's Little Brother
During a panel discussion on recruiting before the Michigan High School Football Coaches Association, Mark Dantonio stoked the flames of the Michigan-Michigan State rivalry. While Michigan State sent its head coach to the event, Brady Hoke was busy being honored as a finalist for the Bear Bryant Aw...