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“Wheels On The Bus” On YouTube: A Distressed Father’s Guide
So my firstborn son is obsessed with "Wheels on the Bus," and will sing it at the slightest provocation, or with no provocation at all, really. He's three ("a young three," as noted by now multiple polite but clearly frazzled instructors at toddler-activity sessions he's disrupted by, for example, f...
Astros Prospect's First Home Run Of Season Caught By His Dad
Conrad Gregor, a Houston Astros prospect currently playing for the Quad Cities River Bandits, unintentionally gave a souvenir to his father, who was attending Saturday's game....
An Ode To Sleeping Children
I had to look after all three of my kids by myself this weekend, and when you are alone with children for that long, you are so put-upon that your memory stops working. I can't even recall what happened over those three days, because my brain went into Safe Mode and was like, NOPE. I'M NOT STORING...
Dad Totally Drops Kid In Background Of Aussie Rules Football Interview
The video's a couple of years old, but it's new to us. (And still funny.)...
37 Things Mothers Do Not Like
Hey guys, Mother's Day is coming! Don't bother with a present. All she wants is a card, and for you to avoid the following things:...
Mike Tirico Raps About Drake, Achieves Supreme Dadness
It's not the rapping that makes Mike Tirico the biggest dad to have ever dadded in this clip, it's the ensuing faux-embarrassment, the point-by-point explanation of his joke, and the gleeful mention of his son and whatever extracurricular activity that son is currently engaged in. That's what we ca...
Why Rich Lacrosse Parents Are Making Their Kids Repeat A Grade
In the lax-crazy scholastic sports scene of the high-end Washington D.C. market, a game between Landon School and Georgetown Prep is essentially 'Skins vs. Cowboys, except with more people named Topper. They're two of the fancy-pantsiest all-boys secondary schools in the area, and their athletic riv...
Can You Predict If Your Kid Will Throw Left-Handed?
I'm at that age where my buddies from college are starting to sign their kids up for Little League. They'll differ in degree and in approach to helicopter coaching and buying up extravagant, miniaturized baseball equipment, but there's one thing they'll all agree on: They hope their kid's a lefty. ...
Eight Reasons Never To Go On Spring Break With Children
Just let go. That was the slogan of the hotel we were staying at for Spring Break, and it was a solid slogan. After all, this was a family resort, and at family resorts, parents often need to be reminded to ease up, take the sticks out of their asses, and TRY to enjoy themselves, if only to then f...
Why Paternity Leave Is Important, Even Though You’ll Hate It
Every few years, there's a big Hot Sports Take orgy because a pro athlete decided to skip a game for a birth and/or paternity leave. This year, it was Daniel Murphy's turn in the barrel, getting dumped on by Boomer Esiason and Mike Francesa after skipping two games after his kid was born. Esiason h...
Lacrosse Dad Sues Coaches For Not Playing His Son
Lacrosse: still the worst. The latest piece of evidence in support of this statement comes to us from the lacrosse fields of North Texas, where one man has filed a RICO lawsuit against the owners of the Dallas Lacrosse Academy, whom he claims are intimidating, threatening, and extorting players into...
Why Are Screens Better Than Real Life?
I have three children, and left unsupervised, they will stare at screens until their eyeballs liquefy and seep into the carpet. And so, I spend every single day of my existence wringing my hands over how much screen time is too much screen time for these people. Sometimes I set a timer. Sometimes ...
Joakim Noah's Dad Stops An Interview To Cheer For His Son
Joakim Noah did his Joakim Noah thing against the Heat on Sunday, hitting the team he hates the most with 20 points, 12 rebounds, seven assists and an endless stream of shit-talking. But the highlight of the game was when Noah's father, Yannick, blew off an interview with Lisa Salters to cheer on h...
Let's Try Chips Ahoy! Ice Cream Creations, A Dessert-Flavored Dessert
Remember ice cream? Oh man, ice cream. There are so many wonderful things to remember about ice cream, but first and foremost—more than the carnival of flavors and colors; the various zany, luxurious toppings and swirls; the fun presentations (Sundae! Banana split! Ice cream cone! Ice cream cak...
The Dadspin Guide To The American Snow Day
It's snowing. Again. I live in an area where the arrival of half a snowflake results in the absolute cessation of all business and public transport and hospital respirators, so school is closed. For the 90th fucking time. At this rate, my children will learn to read sometime around 2085....
Angry Dad Is Very Upset About How Local Swim Team Is Being Run
Everyone knows that hockey dads and football dads and lacrosse dads are crazy, but did you know that swimming dads can be just as nuts? They can! A tipster just forwarded us the following email, which was sent by one angry parent to the other members of his kid's swim team board (names have been red...
Down With Big Birthday
I have two kids with birthdays coming up and as much as I would like to sidestep the Birthday-Industrial Complex, it's no easy task. There are two levels of peer pressure in the birthday universe: the peer pressure exerted on your children (not that I really care about that) and the social pressure...
"Dad Gets College Football Tickets For Christmas" Video Has A Twist
So, videos of college football fans getting tickets for Christmas are popping up all over, as they do every holiday season, but this one stands out for the elaborate scheme. It's on par with the final minutes of a soap opera....
Here's Another Insane Christmas Wish List
After our own Drew Magary shared his daughter's crazy-ass Christmas wish list with the world, we received many other lists from parents around the country who also have, uh, imaginative kids. Here's another one, and it's a doozy:...