dallas Page 35 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Get Ready For The NBA Tanking Campaign Of A Lifetime
By the time the NBA’s All-Star break usually rolls around, the standings are more or less set. It’s typically obvious which four or so teams will be contending for a championship, and it’s also apparent who will be spending the rest of the year in the toilet, tanking for superior lottery odds and dr...
Old Geezer Dirk Nowitzki Dunked Himself Onto The Injured List
Old, old man Dirk Nowitzki had himself a bit of a throwback game against the Los Angeles Lakers Saturday night. In 24 minutes of action—just about all his body can handle, at this point—Nowitzki knocked home eight of 11 shot attempts, including all four of his looks from beyond the arc, to score 22 ...
Rick Carlisle Is Working On His Relationship With Salah Mejri's Alter Ego<em></em>
Mavericks head coach Rick Carlisle has apologized to Salah Mejri after yelling at the center during last night’s game—specifically saying, “you have two fucking points, get the fuck out of here” after Mejri was ejected with his second technical foul in the third quarter—and says he will try harder t...
Tyler Seguin Made Precisely Three Bruins Look Stupid With His Overtime Goal
Down went David Pastrnak, Ryan Spooner, and goalie Anton Khudobin. Stars center Tyler Seguin made three Bruins fall over as he took advantage of a delayed penalty and scored the overtime goal to give Dallas a 3-2 win over Boston today....
Rick Carlisle Needs To Chill
Mavericks head coach Rick Carlisle, who is also the president of the NBA’s Coaches Association, is fed up with ESPN giving crazy sports dad LaVar Ball so much space to express himself. Everyone is tired of LaVar Ball because he’s annoying and stupid, but Carlisle’s reasons for being angry are not go...
Mavericks Decide "Little Cows" Is No Longer A Good Chinese Translation Of Their Name, Switch To "Lone Ranger Heroes"
A maverick is, literally, a little cow. An unbranded calf, so named for nineteenth-century Texas cattle farmer Samuel Maverick, who did not brand his cattle. For nearly two decades now, the Dallas Mavericks have been known in China by a translation that works out roughly to “little cows.” Accurate! ...
The Ice Bowl, The Sneak, And The Family Who Shot The Packers For 70 Years
It wasn’t just cold at Lambeau Field. With the temperature at 13 below zero at kickoff, and the wind chill at 36 below, Dec. 31, 1967, ranked as the coldest New Year’s Eve day that Green Bay, Wisconsin, had ever witnessed....
Get The Hell Out Of Here, Cowboys
The Cowboys had more rushing and passing yards than the Seahawks. It didn’t matter....
Jerry Jones Wishes There Were More People Like Jerry Richardson In The NFL
Cowboys owner Jerry Jones was asked to comment on the reports of sexual misconduct and racism that led to Panthers owner Jerry Richardson putting his team up for sale yesterday. Jones made it clear that the whole situation has made him very sad, not for the women that Richardson is said to have sexu...
$13 Billion Industry Uses Folded-Up Piece Of Paper To Determine Outcomes
The Cowboys earned a first down tonight in a play so ridiculous it made the Steelers’ loss look positively pedestrian. The NFL uses computer chips in uniforms, pads, and the football itself—but the decision to award first downs still comes down to a technology so analogue it existed two hundred year...
Dallas Keuchel Got Hurt In The Astros’ Championship Parade
The Houston Astros confirmed earlier this week that Dallas Keuchel has a minor foot injury. The pitcher, an all-star this season who started two games in the World Series, got hurt in a curious way: He fell during the championship parade and sprained his ankle....
It's Conspiracy Theory Time For Cowboys Fans
The best part about a sports team you don’t care about massively underachieving is witnessing the accompanying freakout from people who very much do care about the team. The Cowboys looked pitiful in yesterday’s loss to the Chargers, and now a team that was supposed to be a Super Bowl contender comi...
Hello Darkness, My Old Friend
Boy, things sure are looking up for Jerry Jones! Here he is enjoying a Thanksgiving feast of a 28-6 loss and 434 passing yards allowed. Look upon his soul, or what is left of it:...
Kyrie Irving Kept The Celtics' Streak Alive
The Celtics’ stretch of early-season dominance looked like it might’ve finally met its end tonight, with Boston losing to the Mavericks by as many as 13 points in the fourth quarter. And then Kyrie Irving scored 10 of his 47 points in overtime, and the Celtics got their 16th win in a row. With a sea...
Report: Jerry Jones Wants Secret Ballot Vote But Everyone Wants Him To Shut Up And Stop
Jerry Jones is fond of the secret ballot as an instrument of dealmaking, and today, he’s reportedly introduced it as the latest weapon in his siege against Roger Goodell and other NFL owners. According to Pro Football Talk, Jones wants to use this secret ballot to get the owners to vote on, well, so...
Here's Video Of A Seemingly Drunk-Off-His-Ass Jerry Jones Making A Bad Joke
Something called The Blast has acquired an old video that shows Cowboys owner Jerry Jones making a groan-worthy joke to a fan who had stopped him at a Dallas hotel and asked the nutty old coot—whose beet-red face and unsteady speech suggest things about his level of inebriation—to wish his new wife ...
Jerry Jones, NFL Owners Continue Vaguely Flexing Their Muscles At Each Other
We’re now a few weeks into Jerry Jones’s crusade to teach Roger Goodell a lesson about the limits of his power and, at this point in the exercise, that amounts to an aggrieved Jones staring across a bargaining table at a group of NFL owners who are getting progressively more fed up with his shit. Th...
Ezekiel Elliott, Who Was Suspended, Un-Suspended, Suspended, Un-Suspended, Suspended, Un-Suspended, And Suspended Again Accepts Suspension<em></em>
As his agents announced this afternoon, the interminable saga of Ezekiel Elliott’s quantum suspension has finally come to a close....
Pau Gasol Gets A Front-Row Seat To Dennis Smith Jr.'s Giant Dunk
Everyone from LeBron James on down knows that Mavs rookie Dennis Smith Jr. is an awe-inducing athletic talent with a penchant for all-out slams, so you can’t blame Pau Gasol for wanting a glimpse of Smith’s abilities for his own. As Smith dribbled with Gasol on him at the top of the arc, the veteran...
How Jerry Jones Became The NFL's Shadow Commissioner
“The Super Bowl has changed since we were last in it,” the late Dan Rooney told the Pittsburgh writer Jim O’Brien in January 1996, in the run-up to Super Bowl 30. “It has gotten a lot bigger. There’s more hype. To be quite honest with you, it is more Jerry Jones.”...