dea Page 386 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Did Osama Bin Laden Have Porn?
I used an electric nose hair trimmer for the first time the other day. It was oddly titillating. Now my nostrils are hollowed out like Nikki Tyler. It's almost too much oxygen for me to handle in one load....
Landon Donovan Is "A (Genitalia)head," And Other Things Of Note
Your morning roundup for May 10, the day the gays were good enough for the Navy but not good enough for Uptown Sports Athlete Representation....
Belgian Cyclist Dies After Fall in Giro D'Italia
Wouter Weylandt was pronounced dead soon after a single-bike crash in a hilly stage of the Giro D'Italia, one of the three Grand Tours of cycling, and often the most dangerous....
Phil Jackson Agrees That His Career Has Been The "Bee's Knees"
Your morning roundup for May 9, the day we learned of the Village tree thief....
Deadspin Classic: Kobe: <i>"We Are Going To Win This Series"</i>
Originally published earlier today, like seven hours ago....
Deadspin Classic: How Everyone Decided Delonte West Was Boinking LeBron's Mom
Around this time last year, everyone was seeking an explanation for LeBron James's poor playoff performance. They found it, in the form of a bizarre Gloria James/LeBron James/Delonte West love triangle. Happy Mother's Day, everyone....
The Pacquiao/Mosley Fight Ended Up Being NASCAR's Undercard Last Night
Your morning roundup for May 8, the day we watched the world's terroristic boogeyman watching himself and channel surfing like an Ritalin-addled preteen whose parents won't spring for a DVR....
By The Looks Of Things, The Texas Rangers Mascot Is Hung Like The Palomino Horse It Purports To Be
Your morning roundup for May 7, the first Saturday after the gays seized control of Atlantic City....
These Adorable Kids Are Going To Take Down MLB's Iron-Fisted Video Regime, But We Still Need Your Help
The MLB video war continues, quietly, even though we've kind of been actively ignoring one another for some time now. We received a lot of initial interest in our plan to take down the iron-fisted video regime, but then I guess it rained everywhere in America for two weeks and everyone's practice ...
Rick Reilly Shuts Down Journalism School, Pisses On Journalism's Corpse, Makes Some Shit Up About MLK
Rick Reilly returned yesterday to the University of Colorado's J-School to deliver a speech to graduates. A 1981 alumni himself, Reilly sent out the last pure CU journalism grads, as the program converts to "journalism plus" next year. Gathered from reports by the Denver Post and Daily Camera, here ...
Great Moments In Bad Handjobs
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Wild Australian Horse Decides To Run Away From A Steeplechase Course And Over The Crowd
Your morning roundup for May 6, the day Willie Mays becomes an octogenarian....
A Special Graduation Message To The Class of 2011
Every year, thousands of young Americans graduate from college. And every year, those poor wretched hungover bastards are forced to sit out in some quad in million-degree heat to listen to a mildly famous person yammer on and on for hours about how these kids will change the world and all that bulls...
Presenting The 18-Minute Video Of Shin-Soo Choo's Failed Roadside Sobriety Test
Your morning roundup for May 5, the day a former vice president wants you to thank "enhanced interrogation" for the current president's visit to Ground Zero....
Here's The Story Of A Man In Bra And Panties Who Killed A Pygmy Goat While Tweaking On Bath Salts
Lisa Powers of Charleston, WV bought her 4-year-old grandson a pygmy goat on Friday. They named it Bailey, after a Disney Channel show's character. Here's what Grandmother Powers had to say about what happened to Bailey by 3:15 a.m. Monday. The "he" in the quote is neighbor Mark Thompson....
Danny Ainge Is Horrified By What He Sees
Your morning roundup for May 4, the day we again discovered Xanadu in Jersey....
Michelle Obama Teaches You How To Dougie
We were wondering if our President and First Lady could do anything to top what just might be The Best Week Ever In Presidential History. And then Michelle Obama went ahead and did the Dougie. This, you should know, as a potentially tax-paying American, is a part of the "Let's Move!" campaign and ...
Your Special Edition Dead Bin Laden Funbag
Before we get to your letters, kudos to TMZ for asking if Obama had victory sex on Sunday Night. Because he totally should have. His seaman should have conducted a forceful raid of his wife's compound to celebrate that news....
One Nation, Under Jimmer
Your morning roundup for May 3, the day certain Canadians declared they're moving to Greenland....
If MLB Pulls This Video, They Hate America
Your morning roundup for May 2, the day Fox News kept being wrong....