dea Page 385 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Cockblocked By A Rape Joke!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

This Poor Dog Is Forced To Sit Outside Mets Games With A Pipe In Its Mouth
As if you weren't already paying too much to see Justin Turner mash on Dillon Gee's behalf, a recent internet groundswell sheds light on another gross perversion inherent in the Citi Field experience. A dog, Coffee, sits outside the stadium, ostensibly for your amusement, in sunglasses or a Groucho ...

Ranking The 10 End-Of-The-Human-Race Scenarios
The Rapture is scheduled for tomorrow, and this is roughly the 17th time in my life that all of us were supposed to die according to some kind of vague, medieval prediction. All of these Rapture predictions, of course, are born of hubris. Everyone wants to believe that they will be alive during the ...

"Macho Man" Randy Savage Killed In Car Accident
"TMZ spoke with Randy's brother, Lanny Poffo, who tells us the wrestling legend suffered a heart attack while he was behind the wheel around 10 AM ... and lost control of his vehicle." [TMZ]...

Today, Consider Bankrupting Dan Gilbert For A Good Cause
Nick Gilbert, bespoke son of Comic Sans-loving Cavaliers owner Dan, became your new favorite meme for about six hours Tuesday night when he presided over Cleveland's unlikely NBA draft lottery win. (And he too cued something in between dickishness and awkward humor from Timberwolves GM David Kahn.)...

Putting A Drunk Phillies/Flyers Fan On Live TV? Bad Decision, Guy In A Windowless Production Van
Your morning roundup for May 20, the day Kirsten Dunst was (politely) shocked and appalled. H/T Ryan Boone for the vid....

This Is The Story Of Two Elegant Latvian Women Roofying And Robbing A Weatherman In South Beach
The scam itself has the makings of a sexy Liam Neeson vengeance-comedy. After young beauties from Estonia, Latvia and the like brought their talents to South Beach, via the U.S. Department of Homeland Security Visa Waiver Program, they were trained in luring wealthy-looking businessmen to fake nigh...

Deadspin Classic: Dick Ebersol Is The Biggest Failure Of Them All
In the wake of Dick Ebersol's messy resignation from NBC Sports, we revisit the writings of a former NBC employee, who remembers Ebersol's failures being as legendary as his accomplishments....

Clemson, Davidson Up The Rain-Delay-Antics Ante With Human Bowling, Wartime Re-Enactment, And Curling
Your morning roundup for May 19, the day Stanley the adult baby entered the nation's political dialogue, and not a moment too soon. Video via College Baseball Daily....

Most Pitchers Would Not React The Way Indians Closer Did After Allowing Inconsequential Run
Your morning roundup for May 18, the day your bros realized they shouldn't have done that, man. Above: Chris Perez makes his case to be the real-life Kenny Powers. Video via The Dugout Sports Show....

Derek Boogaard, The Quintessential Goon
This is Derek Boogaard, younger, still the same player....

Can You Filibuster Your Own Execution?
Last Saturday I was supposed to sing the National Anthem at a Richmond Revolution game. The Richmond Revolution are a team in the Indoor Football League. What I didn't know is that Richmond Revolution are the only team in the Indoor Football League that plays its games OUTSIDE, and are therefore sub...

Cam Newton Is Still Gene Chizik's Golden Calf
Your morning roundup for May 17, the day the greatest two-sport athlete you've probably never heard of turns 99. (Photo by random Auburn student, via SportsFeeder. Full photo here.)...

This Is The Only Woman In The World Who Knows What It's Like To Get Caught Between Two Tim Tebows In Her Underwear
Your morning roundup for May 16, the day that Hickey got his edits from Lady Gaga. Tebow photo via @Lisa_Altobelli, who has the full shot....

Here's A Picture Of Cam Newton's Absurdly Detailed Birthday Cake
Sure, Cam Newton was the No. 1 pick of a league that doesn't tangibly exist at present, but that didn't stop Sassy Girl Bakery from going all decadent with his birthday pastry. Wonder what it cost. Wonder who paid....

Watch People Cheer For A Suicidal Turtle At The Players Championship
Your morning roundup for May 15, the day Lazy Cakes, Kush Cakes and Lulla Pies start becoming Public Enemy Nos. 1-3....

A Walk-On Who Made the Team Wants You to Know What It Really Means
Alex Howell was the only freshman in the tunnel that Saturday, his chinstrap so tight it fused his jaw shut, 89,000 people packed into to the last row at Auburn's Jordan-Hare Stadium. Earlier in the week the graduate assistant… [Kotaku] ...

The Grizzlies Were Prince To The Thunder's Morris Day Last Night
Your morning roundup for May 14, the day after a homeless Bulgarian man beheaded an elderly British woman in a Spanish supermarket, walked away "clutching the head by its hair, leaving a trail of blood dripping to the ground," but got caught after an Italian motorcyclist threw a helmet at his face....

Cockblocked In Thailand!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Skip Bayless Is Ready To Throw Down With Michael Vick Over LeBron James
Your morning roundup for May 13, the day we wondered why our census form asked for penis size. Video via Sportsfeeder....