dea Page 488 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Whatever You Do, Don't Fall Asleep
Oh, God, we could be bounded in a nutshell, and count ourselves a king of infinite space, were it not that we have bad dreams....
A Week Of Buggin' Out
• We really enjoyed the Jambaroo this week. • Favre, man ... FAVRE. • Don't let the door hit you on the way out, Roger. • ESPN will come after you even in death. • Jacqueline Gagne, hanging out with the ESPN Conversation folks. • Stanford! Holy crap! • The bleacher peeing lady. • Baseball video game...
You Always Were An Asshole, Gorman
Just tell us one thing, Burke. You're going out there to destroy them, right? Not to study. Not to bring back. But to wipe them out....
Let Isiah Thomas Manage The Phillies!
• Soccer players are manly. • Much genius happening on the ESPN Conversation boards. • Please do not make noise, fan. • Tom Brady is selective about his in-flight movies. • Good week for Isiah. • Get after it, football fans. • Somebody tag Holliday. • How to win a starting job. • Goodbye, Walt Jocke...
Sometimes A Bowler Just Has To Face The Music
We don't puke when we drink. We puke when we don't....
The Best Place To Enjoy The NL's Big Weekend? Buffalo!
• That ESPN Town Hall Meeting did not go well. • Weed! • This is not a good way to impress Jim Tressel. • Nobody is better at Photoshop than Russian topless dancers. • Brett Favre, champion of jorts. • The Isiah Thomas Case is almost over. Sad. • Erin Andrews is a diligent interviewer. • "Rememberin...
We're Sorry For Your Loss. Your Mother Was A Terribly Attractive Woman.
Four minutes, forty-eight seconds. We're all dead. Burned to a crisp....
You'll Be Lucky To See This Post, Ever
• Jay Mariotti, blogger. • Isiah Thomas knows his race relations syntax. • Real or not, these are terrifying. • Bill Simmons' charming fan. • Adeus, Mourinho. • We'd patrol Chris Henry's house too. • MJD's new best friend. • The studly Rob Stone. • How to handle when your team wins behind enemy line...
Who's The Next To Be Taken Down By Karma?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....
Eff Her! Let's Get A Sandwich
What's the difference between a golf ball and a G-spot? We'll spend twenty minutes looking for a golf ball!...
Bill Belichick Is Always Watching
• Bitch, Isiah Thomas has a lot to say. • Shaq's bus sends some mixed messages. • What a huge day at RFK Stadium. • Jason Elam's kick was amazing. • The Smorgasbord returns! • Obey Belichick. • Gilbert Arenas knows how to deal with a lady. • Poor Greg Oden. • We tell you with whom to have sex. • Ski...
It Mated Us. We Hadn't Even Been Properly Introduced.
It wants to ... turn us into something else. That's not too terrible is it? Most people would give anything to be turned into something else....
Gilbert Arenas Wants To Help Your Love Life
During a moment of boredom last week, we caught an episode of that "Tell Me That You Love Me" show on HBO On Demand. We think it might be the most annoying television show we've ever seen. Basically, it's just a bunch of rich white people complaining about How We Just Don't Communicate The Way We Us...
We're Just Getting Started, If By "Started," You Mean "Halfway Done"
It was TheStarterWife who said things were totally different on this side of the wall, and all I can add to that is "ain't that the fucking truth." But we've learned a few things that we'll be sure to apply toward tomorrow's festivities. First of all, we realize that Nibbles really is a delicate fl...
The Gay Mafia Invade The Mothership
Oh, hello there. We, the fine gentleman from Kissing Suzy Kolber, have been charged with guiding you folks through this, the very first weekend of the NFL season. And we could not be more excited. Not only do we get to watch football, we also get to rush to the computer every five minutes to do HTM...
Thank Heavens For The NFL
• Another reason never to get excited about anything. • Mark Mangino will kill you. • Scott Van Pelt had had it up to here with your Internet garbage. • The NFL actually started its season. • Jeff Reed! • Shush, Barber. • Boy, oh boy, Michigan. • Rugby players make great dads. • Enjoy your Sunday! •...
He Should Have Armed Himself If He's Going To Decorate His Saloon With Our Friend
Look son, being a good shot, being quick with a pistol, that don't do no harm, but it don't mean much next to being cool-headed. A man who will keep his head and not get rattled under fire, like as not, he'll kill ya. It ain't so easy to shoot a man anyhow, especially if the son-of-a-bitch is shooti...
Our Server Is Not A Sentient Being
To keep the comments as fresh and outstanding as they've been up to this point, we've commissioned Commenting Guru Rob Iracane to write a bi-weekly Comment Ombudsman column. It runs every other week. This is that week....
At The End, There Is Just Ned
• Alas, only Ned. • Mark Cuban, dancin'. • ESPN hires its fans. Well, no, but it pretends its employees are fans. Clever, you! • We'll never understand the President Of Red Sox Nation thing. • Vick pleaded guilty. You might have heard about it. • Mike Tyson's poop. • Dickey Simpkins, one good dad. •...
You Have Got To Be The Worst Manager We've Ever Had
Even in this little town, we feel like what we do is very connected with the real center of people's lives. We're not saying we're always Mr. Effective, but we don't feel like our life is off to the side of what's important. You know? We don't feel our happiness and comfort are based on closing our ...