deadspin-xy Page 25 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

There's Something Truly Special About One Of These Shoplifters's Mugshots
Korin Vanhouten and Eldon Alexander — you decide which is which — totally got charged with stealing makeup, energy bars and batteries from a Utah supermarket the other day. What, no lotion basket?...

It Wouldn’t Be Christmas Time Without A Lady Hoodrat Brawl At The Mall, Now Would It?
This little slice of Americana comes to you from the King of Prussia Mall, right off the Pennsylvania Turnpike about 20 miles west of Philly. There's a "Rock Bottom Restaurant & Brewery" there. A fitting name....

Today In Sexual News From Sandusky, Ohio
"PERKINS TOWNSHIP, Ohio- A Sandusky woman was arrested on Sunday afternoon after she allegedly beat her husband because he refused her sex. ... According to the report, after a day of shopping and a stop at a local bar, Vera and Harold Baaske returned home. Harold told officers that Vera wanted to ...

Portland's Quipster Cop: Lightsaber Edition
We first met officer Pete Simpson a few weeks ago when he was cracking wise about Ndamukong Suh's driving style. Officer Simpson is back in the news following a (possibly mentally ill) prospective Jedi, elegantly—and not at all clumsily or randomly—got nuts in a Toys R Us with a lightsaber. After a...

Lovesick College Kid Turns Down Historic Lay
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Finally, A Turkish Street Fight Set To An "Eye Of The Tiger" Score
The guy in the white turtleneck. Yeah, that one. He has some problems in this little Turkish traffic to-do, what with his inability to land a 1) punch or 2) acrobatic sidekick without getting dropped to the street. A soul-crushing defeat, to be sure. Took his time. Took his chances. Ended up laid ...

Bro Charged With DWI After Crashing Muscle Car Into "Booze It And Lose It" Police Command Center
"A Hickory (NC) man is facing multiple charges, including DWI, after slamming into a DWI mobile command center Sunday morning. Law enforcement officers were conducting a DWI checkpoint when a 1989 red Chevy Camaro rammed into the back of the 'Booze it and Lose it' mobile unit. People were inside th...

Cockblocked By Peanut Butter Cups!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Confessions Of A Terrible Father; Or, How To Fight That Urge To Put Your Kid Through A Wall
I got an email this week from a reader named Chris that made me think about the times when parenthood can leave you a shriveled-up, emotional wreck of a human being. This was his email....

This Video Ensures That Nobody On The Face Of The Earth Will Ever Mess With Tiffany Again (NSFW)
The description of this here "Pimp gets bitchslapped by his Slut whore" video reads as follows:...

Always Remember: Hot Tubs Are Disgusting Places
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Soon-To-Be-Fired Newspaper Editor Puts A Big Old "Fuck" On Page 3C
You may want to avert your delicate sensibilities from today's Greenville (S.C.) News, because they accidentally printed a naughty not-for-old-people-who-still-subscribe-to-newspapers word in today's story about the SEC Title Game. It's easy to miss, subtly placed in the flow of the text, but look v...

Naked Dude Fights With NYC Bouncer, Runs Into Traffic, Falls Off A Car (NSFW)
A reader sends in this video taken on 6th Avenue in Manhattan at 2:30 a.m. Saturday night. Very few good things happen at 2:30 a.m. on 6th Avenue, which is why it's always a good idea to have your phone camera at the ready....

If You Like Watching Dolled-Up Lovelies Brawl In Atlantic City, This One's For You (NSFW)
Barefoot gal in hiked-up pink, thong-revealing getup or heels-sporting jean lady in loose tanktop. Contestant who got kicked in the grill vs. a virtual human centipede of flailing femarms....

This Week In Unintentional Dong Submissions Involving Hand Gestures On Wheel Of Fortune
Not only was Andrew P. of Lenexa, Kansas watching Wheel of Fortune this evening, but he was watching at the precise moment that contestant Lorimar made a hand gesture made all the more unfortunate when not accompanied by volume. 'Twas also an unfortunate gesture that host Pat Sajak caught himself ...

This Portrait Of Atlanta Falcon Ray Edwards And LaStarya Thompson Better Be Called "Handful Of Ass"
Tipster Mike S. was kind enough to ferret out this glorious piece of artwork on artist Gabe Richesson's website. In proper form, the Edwards/LaStarya study is five-feet wide and four-feet tall. In proper form, it owns the room, as if a vice squeezing your attention tight and showing it who's boss....

Clearly This Woman Loves The 'Cocks
South Carolina's about to win the Palmetto Bowl in big fashion over Clemson, and here's how one Gamecocks fan reacted to DeVonte Holloman intercepting a Clemson pass to help lock up the victory. I can only imagine how she'll celebrate....

Watch Turkeys Intimidate A Mother And Son Thanks To Someone Who Chose To Record Instead Of Help
Whomever posted oldie-but-goodie "When Wild Turkeys Attack Indian People" two years ago claimed it was shot in Cherry Hill, NJ. I grew up across the mighty Cooper River from Cherry Hill, NJ and never seen no turkeys sprinting down the sidewalks. But whatever....

Make $50 By Licking A Urinal Wall. Ask This Guy At Husky Stadium How!
Writes tipster Tim W., "I went to the second to last game to be played at Husky Stadium before it gets torn down and replaced. We were playing Colorado. I went to the bathroom and this guy was on his knees next to the urinal trough shit faced and ready to make 50 bucks. You can see guys pissing wa...

Puppy On Freeway Makes For Most Adorable Police Chase Ever
A puppy—allegedly a Yorkie—escaped from the back of a vehicle that had been a part of a rollover crash on the freeway in Tempe, Ariz., on Wednesday. Because it's Friday, we set video of the ensuing police chase to NWA's "Fuck Tha Police" in an attempt to make the baddest Yorkie alive even badder. ...