dor Page 47 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Goodbye To Old-Ass Jason Giambi, Who Refused To Go Down A Villain
Jason Giambi is retiring. At age 44, the slugger announced yesterday that his gradual disappearance from the game—one that began all the way back in 2009, when Giambi remade himself into a grizzled pinch-hitter and nominal player-coach—has reached its terminus. His career probably should have ende...

Tony Dorsett On CTE: I Didn't Know "The End Was Going To Be Like This"
In 2013, NFL hall of famer Tony Dorsett was among the first few living football players to be diagnosed with signs of the chronic traumatic encephalopathy, a neurodegenerative disease that manifests as dementia and depression. It's gotten worse—by definition, it'll get worse until he dies—and in a r...

Borussia Dortmund Fans Are Fed Up
Borussia Dortmund's fans have finally reached their breaking point. Just 21 months ago they were watching their team barely lose in the Champions League Finals, and they haven't seen them finish worse than second in the Bundesliga since the 2009-10 season. This season Dortmund aren't merely strugg...

Help! My Apartment Reeks Of Drunken-Cooking-Incident Smoke!
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She'll be here every week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Check the Squalor Archive for assistance. Are you still dirty? Email her....

Who Would Win If A Hippo Fought A Rhino? A Question For The Ages.
This morning, in the Deadspin staff chatroom, we found ourselves debating whether a hippopotamus or a rhinoceros would win in a head-to-head battle. Since the question wasn't settled there [even after, like, six hours—ed], Albert Burneko and Greg Howard have decided to air the question in a public ...

Two Former Vanderbilt Football Players Found Guilty Of Rape
After just three hours of deliberation, a jury found former Vanderbilt football players Cory Batey and Brandon Vandenburg, who were accused of raping a woman on the Vanderbilt campus in 2013, guilty on all charges. Both Batey and Vandenburg were found guilty of multiple counts of aggravated rape and...

At Least Cleveland Still Has Great Beer
The mayor of Boston went on CNN this morning to talk about a snowstorm that hadn't begun yet. That is insane. I realize part of my reaction is based on being old enough to remember when CNN trafficked in weightier matters than weather porn and celebrity gossip, and I also concede that the storm head...

Poker-Playing Dog, Or Bud Selig?
This fine portrait now hangs in the Padres' offices at Petco Park. Some people say it looks like soon-to-be-former MLB commissioner Bud Selig, but I think it kinda looks like one of those poker-playing dogs. What do you think?...

Jozy Altidore, The Striker Who Never Was, Is Coming Back Home
Yesterday, news broke that perennial Premier League bottom feeders Sunderland had reached a swap deal with Major League Soccer. American striker Jozy Altidore is leaving Sunderland for MLS's Toronto FC. English striker Jermain Defoe, who just joined Toronto FC from Tottenham last summer, is going to...

Cristiano Ronaldo, A Decent Soccer Player, Wins FIFA Player Of The Year
Today, Real Madrid's Cristiano Ronaldo was awarded the 2014 FIFA Ballon d'Or. It's the second year in a row he's been named FIFA's best player, and the third time in his career. The Portuguese winger beat out Argentina's Lionel Messi, German keeper Manuel Neuer, and a bunch of other guys who had no ...

Player Gets Red Card For Hacking Down His Own Brother
I mean, I get it. Sometimes, brothers suck. Sometimes, shit gets heated. Sometimes, there's nothing to do but take a running start, slide two feet through the back of their legs, and deal with Ma Dukes later....

Marco Reus Fined $670,000 For Driving Without A License
German paper Bild reports (paywall) that Borussia Dortmund star Marco Reus has been fined €540,000 after police discovered he had been driving without a license for the past three years. Apparently Reus received five speeding tickets during that time, but somehow police never figured out that he a...

Did Vanderbilt Try To Kill An Ex-Hoops Player's Tell-All Book?
They were supposed to celebrate that night. It was mid-August, and Kyle Fuller, Eric Schulman, and Jerry Castro were all together in Nashville. The Tennessean had posted an article about their book project, a Kickstarter-funded look at Fuller's life as a Vanderbilt basketball player and student ...

Anderlecht Player Celebrates Goal With Unique Romantic(?) Gesture
We're familiar with the thumb-in-mouth celebration (usually aimed at the scorer's child), and the point-to-the-stands one (usually in acknowledgment of the scorer's friends and family), but Anderlecht striker Aleksandar Mitrović's cunnilingis-inspired ode, ostensibly targeted to the lucky lady(s) in...

Bengals Fans Pummel Bucs Fan Right Outside Of Raymond James Stadium
Despite their best efforts to lose, Cincinnati escaped Tampa with a win yesterday over the Bucs. Their fans, it seems, did too—teaming up to beat the crap out of this Buccaneers fan who, it can be assumed, was getting a bit mouthy....

FIFA Announces Who Will Stand Next To Ronaldo When He Wins Ballon D'or
As inevitable as Cristiano Ronaldo's impending Ballon d'Or victory has been, this year's award campaign has been especially tedious. So we're happy that FIFA's announcement of the three finalists brings us one step closer to being done with the whole thing....

This Cristiano Ronaldo Ballon D'Or Campaign Is Getting Really Gross
UEFA president Michel Platini made a pretty reasonable comment in Madrid earlier this week, saying in his opinion the Ballon d'Or should go to a German player after the country's success in the World Cup. The statement set off the Real Madrid spin machine though, and the team took matters into their...

German Player's Perfect Strike From Center Circle Makes Great Own Goal
It takes a special kind of calmness to lob a ball from the edge of the center circle with enough accuracy to find the back of the net. Unfortunately, Christoph Kramer so calmly played this pass because he expected it to find his own keeper, not sail over his teammate's head and into the goal....

Salvador Perez Never Stood A Chance Against Madison Bumgarner
Madison Bumgarner ended the World Series by throwing six straight high fastballs to Salvador Perez, the majority of which were up around Perez's eyeballs. It was the perfect matchup for the series to end on: a guy who works his fastball high in the zone better than any pitcher in the league coming...