duan Page 146 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Just Like Magic, Two Middling Bears Running Backs Can Fuse Together To Form One Middling Bears Running Back
Spotted, last night at Soldier Field, a couple whose love is built on a foundation of middling former Bears running backs....

Care To Guess Who "The Super Hot, Super Gay, Super Conservative Christian NFL Player In Need Of A Beard" Is?
This exchange between someone in Massachusetts and someone in Illinois was brought to you by "Texts From Last Night." To each their own. (H/T several tipsters)...

Did Barack Obama Tell Aaron Rodgers, "I Just Wanna Get Fucked?" The White House Wants To Know
Not according to the official White House transcript. As the Packers visited the President to celebrate their Super Bowl victory, Obama's remarks regarding Rodgers were limited to calling his one of the greatest quarterbacking performances in history, and wondering if he could get traded to the Bear...

Be Cool Or Elmo Might Have To Stab Somebody
Last night, in Nassau Bay, Texas, a suburb of Houston, Joshua Knight made one very bad decision. He wore this Elmo shirt. The other bad decision, involving his stabbing a man who tried to break up a fight between Knight and a woman, is totally alleged....

Slow And Spectacular, Supertanker Plows Through Yacht
At this week's Red Bull Extreme Sailing Series off the English coast, a Norweigan oil tanker came up the Solent. One yacht barely got out of the way in time, it's sail getting caught on the anchor....

What's All This About Tim Tebow Needing Hormone Replacement Therapy?
I'm a little confused. I wouldn't have believed Tim Tebow would need hormone replacement therapy — he seems like a healthy young man in the prime of his life. Frankly, I would have been shocked if someone told me Tim Tebow needed hormone replacement therapy. But it's a funny funny world we live in, ...

Real Yo-Yo Trickster Impresses Every YouTube Viewer Everywhere
Once upon a time there was a guy who was not very good at yo-yo. He became very popular for it. But this guy here won the World Yo-Yo Championships with this routine, and it's about a billion times more boring. The lesson here is that if you get really really good at something really really pointl...

Ron Artest Put Away His Cellphone Last Night To Take In A Celine Dion Concert
Lakers forward/funnyman/dong-texter Ron "Metta World Peace" Artest has, with good reason, captured our imagination lately. Sometimes for good, sometimes for bad....

A Case Study In Why You Shouldn't Share An Email Address With Your Lovely Wife
Tipster Matthew D. recently shared details of what happened when a guy named Christian dropped out of their fantasy football league. All participants are from the PA/NJ/NY area but for Christian, who's from Seattle. "Only one of us has had the privilege of meeting him in person," Matthew pointed ou...

There's No Cryin' In Mutton-Bustin'
North Texas's world-renowned mutton-bustin' exhibition, the Mesquite Championship Rodeo, will soon be upon us. Which means Good Day Dallas, with whom we've had some fun before, had to visit the rodeo. And when they visit, everything goes wrong. Because, you see, these are four-year-olds riding waywa...

Pro-Owner Lockout Site Returns To The Underworld, To Wake Again In A Decade
Today, a new NFL collective bargaining agreement was finalized and quickly ratified by player vote, officially ending the NFL lockout. It's a banner day for fans, but a sad day for NFLLabor.com, the official state mouthpiece of the league....

How The Brewers' And Cardinals' Broadcast Crews Reacted To The Ryan Braun Plunking Last Night
The Cardinals plunked the Brewers with a couple clauses of baseball's unwritten rules in an 8-7, extra-inning win last night. After Albert Pujols was hit in the hand by an errant Takashi Saito pitch in the top of the seventh, Cards pitcher Jason Motte twice threw at Ryan Braun, connecting on the s...

Rex Ryan Got That Awful Calf Tattoo Because He Believes In Himself
Well, this is a relief. It turns out that Rex Ryan is not any more on the verge of a mental breakdown than he usually is. In fact, he just really believes in himself. With all that belief, he probably has his own slew of business tats under that windbreaker! And for the record, this is one area in...

Nick Young Is An Unexpected Contender For The NBA's Premier Hipster
We've had some discussion in the Deadspin office today about the use of the word "hipster," and whether or not we can apply the term to Washington Wizards guard Nick Young, who scored 60 points in a Drew League game last night. Dickey claims that the term is too "fraught" and complicated to be so li...

Ron Artest Is Still A Little Confused About Why Deadspin Was Calling His Phone
Here's what he told the LA Times: ""You know what man, it was kind of crazy," Artest said. "People are trying to pull not even pranks, but try to stir something up that doesn't make any sense. It really doesn't make any sense. People call you and then pull pranks. I never shied away from the media. ...

Yes, Jay Cutler And Kristin Cavallari Are Still Registered For A Few Things At Crate & Barrel
Prior to the recent love-on-the-rocks update that Chicago Bears QB Jay Cutler and reality someone-or-other Kristin Cavallari chose not to become man and wife after all, friends and well-wishers pretty much hit everything the couple asked for on their Crate & Barrel registry....

Redesigned Madison Square Garden Will Let Bankers Leer At Jocks Through Glass
Madison Square Garden, lest we forget, is undergoing some celebratory renovations this summer. They're ripping out the purple cushioning and replacing it with — well, probably with more purple cushioning. But the more adventurous redesigns are truly visionary. And also kind of creepy....

So Long Ochocinco, And Thanks For The Sombrero
While Chad Ochocinco was thanking God for sending him to New England (or more likely just getting him out of Cincinnati), his now ex-teammate Pacman Jones was helping himself to the contents of Ochocinco's locker. That included modeling the sombrero Chad once pulled out on the field and offering up ...

Presenting The Ex-Future Mrs. Jay Cutler
As opposed to the future ex-Mrs. Cutler, who is whichever C-lister the Bears QB will glom on to next in his never-ending quest to be a star (just playing football's not cutting it)....

A Dejected Tom Ricketts Rides The Train
Sonny in Chicago emailed us today to share an unexpected sighting on his afternoon commute: "I sat on the Metra today, coming back from downtown Chicago to the suburbs, I looked up and what do you know, it's Chicago Cubs owner Tom Ricketts sitting right across from me, on his iPhone with his Cubs ph...