duan Page 156 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
A Samurai Sword Helps Prevent A Robbery
When 52-year-old Brad Grayland Vinson set out to allegedly rob a Shell Station in Columbia, SC, he probably didn't realize the clerk kept a samurai sword handy. Now, he's saddled with charges stemming from an alleged robbery spree, reports WLTX....
Hardcore 302-Pound Fan Likes Bear-Themed Body Painting
Michael Lyp is a really big Chicago Bears fan. Like, 302-pound big. Which means it takes much product for his gameday body-painting rituals. Says the Chicago Tribune, “he stands out in the vibrant tapestry of fans at Soldier Field.”...
Wait, You Mean Someone Wants To Pay Vernon Wells?
The Angels traded away dependable if unspectacular backstop Mike Napoli. In return, they receive negative 86 million dollars over the next four years....
Apparently There's A Funny Brett Favre Video That You Want Us To Post
Our tipsters are the best. They find us the most obscure nuggets from the dusty corners of the Internet. But then, sometimes, they all decide to send us the same damn thing....
"You Guys Are Little Bitches," Said Amani Toomer To His Roller-Hockey Opponents
A brief story about the former Giants wide receiver and his roller-hockey league (!) in Wallington, N.J., courtesy a twice-forwarded email....
As If Lawnmower Races Weren't Thrilling Enough
Lawnmower racing may or may not be the national sport of New Zealand; we're not clear on our Kiwi stereotypes. But we do know this: any mower race that ends in fisticuffs is automatically the best mower race of all time....
Here, Stare At Deion Sanders's Freak Toe For A While
Sanders's foot went all gnarly after one of his surgeries in 1999. He was nice enough to show it off to viewers on the NFL Network yesterday. I think it's looking at me....
Look, Maria Sharapova Has A New Dress!
The Australian Open starts tomorrow, with Rafael Nadal going for a not-quite Grand Slam. It's "not-quite" because while he'd win a fourth consecutive grand slam, it's not in the same season and Rod Laver won't let that historical-aggression stand....
Your Shiny Happy Discotheque Falcons/Packers Open Thread
Falcons Owner Arthur Blank is happy that "we're a relevant team in the NFL now." Meanwhile, in Green Bay, Packers defensive coordinator Dom Capers "continues to impress friends, colleagues."...
Wayne Rooney's Brother Drafted By Red Bulls, Seemingly Mocked By Associated Press Photographer
This is a photograph of Wayne Rooney's 20-year-old brother, John. He was drafted by the New York Red Bulls in Round 2 of the MLS SuperDraft. This is the caption for the photograph, taken by J. Pat Carter of the Associated Press:...
Young Matthew Stafford Had Immaculate Handwriting
Someone dug up a textbook at the middle school in Texas that a young Stafford attended, and there's his 7th grade autograph. Yes, it makes us very mad and very old that he was in middle school in 2000....
LeBron Learns About Karma, In Art Form
From the creator of "Tiger Woods Vomiting" comes another masterpiece: a down-on-his-luck LeBron....
Poor Lady Chiefs Fan Caught With Her Boobs Out After Post-Playoff Pity Hump (NSFW) (UPDATE)
Here we have a woman: knit-capped, pendulous breasts exposed, bluejeans in mid-yank, in plaintive conversation with a man: Tamba jersey'd, hunter's jumpsuit, dejected due to inebriation or underwhelming sexual performance atop the hood of a Murano....
Your "Stolen Laptop Vs. Stolen Projector" Auburn-Oregon Open Thread
Auburn's bigger; Oregon actually has something resembling a defense. Oregon has a running game; Auburn has Cam Newton, who is their running game. This one should be high scoring, and fun to watch....
The Wind Talkers Of Oregon Football Stump The Finest Minds
Tomorrow brings us another minor football contest and more of the cryptic placards of battleships and jack-o-lanterns that Oregon backup QB Dustin Haines has been flashing at teammates throughout the season. The system appears to have been designed by some mad genius....
Confusion Over Garza-Benoit Confusion Finally Resolved
So the Chicago Sun-Times wasn't the only paper to mix up Matt Garza and Joaquín Benoit. The Daily Herald made the same mistake. But don't blame the papers. The error originated with a bad cutline from a wire photographer. Asshole....
Sometimes Bowling Balls Do Magical Things
BOWLING. Josh Scanlon rolls two strikes in the 10th frame during the Team USA trials. Then the ball comically slips out of his hands on his third shot. The ball takes it from there....
Texas's Heisman Video For Eric Metcalf Is The Most Erotic Thing You'll Watch All Day
Bryan sends along this old Heisman promo for the great Texas running back Eric Metcalf, with music by the less-than-great Alabama band Alabama. The choice of song leaves it unclear if the video is asking for your vote or your pants....
Newest Favre Allegations Get The Taiwanese Animation Treatment
Some great visuals in this one, including a literal slab of meat, the "Most Vilified Pervert" Award, and, yes, gunslinger orgasm....
There Is Footage Of ESPN's Adam Schefter Singing In <em>West Side Story</em> For Sale
This is one of the odder items up for bid on the scuzz-money marketplace, yet it's still so intriguing. Apparently ESPN's NFL high-fivin' workhorse used to get all Sock 'n' Buskin as a youngster....