duan Page 162 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

This Photo Of Jason Whitlock Is Begging To Have A Hamburger Photoshopped Into It
Congratulations to our nemesis Jason Whitlock for the big NYT's write-up on his controversial sports journalism and how it's propelled him to media fame and a fortune big enough to own a house in Los Angeles and one in Kansas City....

Here's a Video of a Cat on the Turntables
Meet DJ Kitty. He's kind of a rally monkey but from the looks at this official MLB video of him attempting to get Tampa Bay Rays fans to jumpjumpjump..., he's got strings all over him for marketing's sake. [MLB.com]...

Here's Video of a White Dude Tightly Embracing His Inner Bengals Cheerleader
Bob Herzog is the traffic reporter for a Cincinnati television station. His favorite band is Huey Lewis & the News and his favorite dance tune is Footloose. ("Yep, I'm a dork," he explains on Local 12's website.)...

John Harbaugh: God Makes Foolish The Wisdom Of The World (Specifically, Vegas Point Spreads)
"Where is the wise man?" John Harbaugh asks his team. "Where is the scholar? Where is the philosopher of this age? Does God not make foolish the wisdom of this world? That's what He did tonight, because we're the Ravens."...

Please Join The Deadspin Facebook Page For All Your Hot Mexican Lady Reporter Updates
Ines Sainz, you've made us so icky. But there are other things to read about on the site besides Mexican ladies with giant gumpers. If you joined the Deadspin Facebook page, you would know that already....

Football Dad Motivates Son With BB Gun, Overdoses, Has Fantastic Mugshot
A Florida man who this weekend was charged with prodding his stepson to run "football sprints" while motivationally waving a BB gun is now in the hospital after an apparent overdose....

The Risk You Run When You Try To Become An Oyster-Eating Champion
Meet Ken Orndoff of Hoover, Ala. When he wanted to set a record and heard a local fish food place wanted to show its Gulf oysters were fresh, something clicked. Plus, there was $25 on the line....

Your Monday Night Football Open Thread: Ravens-Jets
Monday night, the time of the week when it used to be a novelty that football was on but hasn't been for quite a while, is finally here, and both teams have a bunch of sparkling new toys to show off tonight....

Da'Sean Butler's Very Disturbing Children's Story Has Been Illustrated
Those of you who were too lazy to read "A Short Story" by Da'Sean Butler 140 characters at a time (or even fully transcribed in this post) are in luck. It's been animated!...

Big Yankees Fan, Manipulating His Inner Pee Wee Herman, Makes New Video
Michael LaPayower wins Chevy Fan of the Year (for August)! Michael LaPayower wins Chevy Fan of Year (for August)!...

For Your Viewing Pleasure: The Worst Mizzou Volleyball Team Rap Ever
The Missouri women's volleyball team's official "Spirit Group," VolleyZou, found an enterprising group of young men with Missouri apparel, a gold cart, a video camera, and lots of gumption and commissioned them to make this, whatever this is....

What Roger Federer Actually Said In That ESPN Interview
Earlier, we drew your attention to a minor hubbub over Roger Federer's interview with Pam Shriver, during which his audio cut out for several highly suspicious seconds. What could he have said, we wondered? Well, now we have an answer....

If You Want To Break Up With Your Girlfriend, Don't Tell Her You Died Of Cancer, And Then Get Photographed At The Louisville Game With A "Big White Girl"
Oh lord. Kids today, with their Facebooks, and MyBooks, and cancer scams, and roomy white chicks....

"World's Largest Bobblehead" Is A Hideous Abomination
Alternate title: how a 14-year-old boy spent the worst summer vacation ever....

White Trash Battle Royale!!!
Notre Dame. Purdue. Shirtless dudes. Three roomy chicks. You know the rest....

Sun Devil Makes Sweet, Public Love to Himself
According to tipster Evan, this is a photo of "Sparky with a boner doing push-ups" after a score in yesterday's riveting Arizona State/Portland State game. He was particularly entertained by guy and lad watching. Me too....

Comedian Robert Schimmel Ponders the Kobe "Rape," Rips Total Gym Roid Freaks and Dies
In particular order ......

The Camera Will Always Love Joakim Noah
We get so many of these photos that I begin to wonder if Joakim Noah will ever enjoy an undocumented moment in public or at his local head shop. At least he seems to relish these encounters. I mean, look....

Hey, Everybody, College Football's Back
College football makes its big honking return tonight. There's a fairly full slate of games to watch, so how would you like an open thread?...

Now Iran Wants To Wipe Cheerleaders Off The Face Of The Planet
International competitions teach us a lot about cultural sensitivity. But sometimes the kumbaya stuff goes too far. Like when cheerleaders have to cover up during one of our basketball games, lest an Iranian player pop an infidel boner or something....