duan Page 163 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
How Tampa Bay Shenanigans Affected the Trade Deadline
Oh, those pesky Hickeys. Seems as if Tampa Bay pitching coach Jim Hickey was involved in some horseplay — specifically, "wrestling, in a way" — which landed pitcher Grant Balfour on the 4-to-6-week shelf with a left rib strain....
Who Would You Have Signed: S.J. or T.O.?
That was S.J. Green of the Montreal Alouettes....
Lovable Psychic Octopus To Be Exploited Further
Paul the Octopus—prognosticating scamp and cephalopod—won our hearts during the World Cup. His ability to pick mussels has landed him a print advertising campaign for a supermarket chain. The ad, pictured, roughly translates to "Where they buy today? Good decision."...
When Mutton Bustin' Goes Horribly Wrong
Derekscott "Bubba" Kirby is like all small children in the Southwest: he's a mutton buster. However, unlike most mutton busters, little Derekscott is infected with E. coli....
Deadspin I-Team: The Case Of Matthew Berry's Friend Hooking Up With An Oscar-Winning Actress
I-Team: Assemble! Today's mystery revolves around The Talented Mr. Roto's adventures In Hollywoodland. Turns out one of Matthew Berry's friends pulled a much better-looking woman than Berry thought possible, and Berry is keeping the details in a lock box....
Mite Fight Broken Up By Mommy
These small children — teammates — get into it with a shove and a slash, and one drops the gloves, ready to go. That's when young JJ's mother plays enforcer....
Seth Tommeraasen Asks "Does Deadspin Cover Flugtag?"
... And Brian Hickey answers, "You bet your ass Deadspin covers flugtag. Lookie here."...
The Starbury Rises in the East
I have no idea what these commentators are saying about Vice Admiral Starbury X. Marbury's MVP performance for the Chinese Basketball Association East All-Star Team, but Stephon surely does. Stephon always did....
Red Sox Fan Picking His Nose? Red Sox Fan Picking His Nose.
Going with the same headline formula? Going with the same headline formula. You fuck. It is the end of the day, the end of the week, but not the end of your life, so go rejoice....
Mutton-Almost-Bustin' At The Tour De France
Alberto Contador came 108 miles closer to winning his third Tour, no thanks to a bunch of of sheep who came out of fucking nowhere to dart across the road in front of the peloton....
I-Team Assemble: Who Is This Cubs Fan?
That pink-hatted, green-shirted man behind home plate has been troubling—nay, pissing off—one reader. His tale after the jump....
Arizona Lady Emigrates Illegally From Shirt
Maybe Arizona is the lawless hellhole Jan Brewer's made it out to be, after all. Between the Nazis on the borders and the streets becoming sets for an ill-advised No Country For Old Men sequel, the citizens of Arizona now have to worry about the unpatrolled border of this lady's cleavage....
<em>Major League</em> Manager Dies
James Gammon—the manager from Major League and a lot of other stuff—died over the weekend after a long battle with cancer. Everybody smoke a pack of Marlboro Reds and talk like him in his honor. [Backstage]...
Hot New Trend Sweeping Through Suburban Chicago: Beating The Crap Out Of Mascots
Have you heard? Anybody who's anybody knows that the coolest thing to do now—at least in the lawless cesspool of the northwest suburbs of Chicago—is to beat up a mascot at an amusement park. Random assault fever—catch it!...
Midshipman, Indeed: Navy Player Sees Your Greg Oden-Grinding-On-A-Lady Photo And, Um, Raises You
The man getting his friction on in the above picture, a la Oden, is former Navy Midshipmen cornerback Lord Cole. At least I think it is. The only pictures I can find of him are a little blurry or inconclusive....
Michelle Beadle Is Ready For The ESPYs
But are you? is the real question. Actually, you don't have much choice. There's no real sports. The only TV tonight is scripted garbage, full of hackneyed jokes backed by forced laughter. Or, you could watch sitcoms. Ba-dum-tsh!...
A Look Back At The Many, Many O-Faces Of The World Cup
Let's officially bring this World Cup to a close with a compilation of men celebrating their goals with panache, hugs, pileups, and, in the case of two Italians, a particularly tender shotgun. Enjoy these rambunctious foreigners one last time....
Pro Football Hall Of Fame Awards, Woooop, Slide Back, Back, Back Into Irrelevance
Awful, awful leatherhead Chris Berman is the recipient of this year's Pete Rozelle Radio-Television Award, an award that had been previously given to actual sportscasters like Pat Summerall for their "exceptional contributions" to TV pigskin. World, stop honoring this man....
Annoying Use Of Vuvuzela Throughout History: The Final Chapter
The World Cup ends this weekend, so let's take one last look at cultural and historical milestones being rudely — and humorously — interrupted by that most noble of African horns, the vuvuzela....
The Decision: The Open Thread
The wait is almost over. Use this as your open thread for all LeBronukkah festivities. If you're feeling especially morbid, watch the happenings unfold with the sad sack patrons of a bar in Cleveland. Prediction: The Blazers pull off a coup....