e Page 7194 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Perhaps The Red Sox Are Struggling Because David Ortiz Is Attempting To Steal Bases
The Boston Red Sox are 0-3 and (as of this writing) losing again tonight to the Toronto Blue Jays, against whom David Ortiz attempted to steal second base in the seventh inning of tonight's matchup. Ortiz, who reached on a single, apparently took matters into his own hands in trying to spark the ...

TV People Have Mispronounced Louis Oosthuizen's Name At Least 20 Different Ways In The Past 24 Hours
Bubba Watson's sudden-death Masters win yesterday over Louis Oosthuizen and the albatross Oosthuizen hit early in the Sunday round have placed television anchors and reporters in the unenviable position of having to pronounce the name of the South African pro. We found dozens of mispronunciations...

Deadspin Up All Night: Pass Over
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. It's been a long day. May the angel of death have mercy on your firstborn....

Bobby Petrino Kept Jessica Dorrell A Secret As Long As Possible: More Crash Details Emerge
From the beginning, Bobby Petrino's motorcycle accident raised questions beyond the comely blonde involved. From the point of view of the Arkansas State Police, they needed to quickly clear up the matter of Captain Lance King, an off-duty officer who transported Petrino—but not Dorrell—to the hospit...

Three Fat Ex-Packers Linemen Have A Wine Label Called "Three Fat Guys"
What do people in Wisconsin like? Yup, the Packers. And what do people in Wisconsin also like? Yup, alcohol....

It Will Be Hard, But Not Impossible, To Get Drunk At The Blue Jays' Home Opener
A reminder to Blue Jays fans that you should probably get hammered before going through the turnstiles tonight, as the Rogers Centre will be severely curtailing beer sales since you've proven you can't hold your alcohol. Look at you. You're a drunken sloppy mess and you're never going to make anythi...

Here's How Four Broadcast Teams Described The Orioles Streaker On Friday
The ad hoc policy to not televise fans who run onto the field during baseball games is intended to discourage copycats, though its effectiveness is debatable at best. Yet while viewers may be blind to the rogue fan's activities, announcers can't resist providing their own take on the action....

Barack Obama Has Lost His Shooting Touch
The White House held its annual Easter Egg Roll today, the day after Easter for some reason. And because the First Lady's pet project is getting our nation's fatty-fat-fat children up and moving, the whole thing had a basketball theme....

This Rare Photo, Up For Auction, Was Stolen From The Baseball Hall Of Fame
This rare photo of Nap Lajoie is expected to fetch $15,000 at auction, and it's stolen from the Hall of Fame. Finding that out is as easy as looking on the back....

Some Guy With A Book To Sell Says He Has Proof O.J. Is Innocent
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: In this theory, O.J.'s son was the murderer....

Bristolmetrics: Brittney Griner Got More Mentions On <em>SportsCenter</em> Than Any Kentucky Wildcat
This is a regular feature breaking down, minute-by-minute, the content that appears on ESPN's 11 p.m. edition of SportsCenter throughout the week. Graphic by Jim Cooke....

Report: Basketball Hero Skip Bayless Actually Averaged 1.4 Points Per Game As A High School Senior
About a week ago, we told you about the high school exploits of "starting point guard" Skip Bayless. According to Skip, he started for the team that would eventually lose in the state finals. Turns out, Skip Bayless is a fibber. Or, maybe his coach just had an unconventional way of constructing his...

Baylor Hoops Teams Were Really Big On The Illegal Text Messages
Stop me if you've heard this before, but a school that quickly rose to athletic prominence is now facing punishment for a myriad of recruiting violations. This time it's the Bears of Baylor, who were found by an NCAA probe to have racked up nearly 2,000 impermissible phone calls and text messages to...

Sandusky Judge Issues Gag Order; Lawyerin' Joe Amendola Will Have To Keep His Lawyerin' At A Dull Roar
Via Sara Ganim at The Patriot-News:...

Antoine Walker Is Retiring After Two Seasons With The Idaho Stampede
Easter Sunday was the day for resurrection. But today is not Easter Sunday. Today is Monday. No one gets resurrected on Monday. And so today is the day that Antoine Walker officially retires from basketball....

Mario Balotelli Won't Be Doing Things On A Soccer Pitch For Awhile After A Shameful Sunday Display
Mario Balotelli's season is likely over, as is his career with Manchester City after a reckless display at Ashburton Grove during City's 1-0 loss to Arsenal yesterday....

Rob Gronkowski Filmed Himself Spiking A Megatron Doll In His House
Ordinarily we have a do-not-treat-"viral"-advertising-like-it-is-news policy. But according to the official hierarchy of Deadspin editorial policies, the everything-even-tangentially-involving-Rob-Gronkowski-is-news policy trumps the one I mentioned in the last sentence....

Augusta National's Gallery Reacted Beautifully To Bubba Watson's Missed Putt In Sudden Death
While Bubba Watson's Masters championship will be remembered best for his miracle shot from the pine straw, it's worth recalling that he actually missed the putt to win on 18 in the first sudden death hole of his playoff with Louis Oosthuizen....

The Marlins Have Become The (Original) Kings Of Comedy
The Miami Marlins are 1-3 so far in their dream season. They'd be fifth in the NL East if not for the fact that an NL East team (Atlanta) had to play the New York JuggerMets and consequently didn't win a game. Their manager offended, like, half of Miami. Someone's squatting on their domain name. The...
