ea Page 2212 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
About Last Night...
What you missed while wondering whether John Daly's wife used a steak knife from the wedding registry ... • MLB: Yankees win 4th straight as the circus Roger Clemens comes to town. • NFL: Consummate team-player Daunte Culpepper won't let the Dolphins trade him. • Golf: Michelle Wie makes the cut (ba...
It's More Difficult To Shake Off 24 Hours Of ESPN Than One Might Think
• As if you needed proof, watching ESPN for 24 hours is a bad idea. • Cleveland celebrated its trip to the NBA Finals ... • ... and then got off to a rather rough start. • Tank Johnson is a new man. • Gene Upshaw is a smooth operator. • Eric Mangini is ACTING! • Give blood, get drunk. • Gary Sheffie...
Them Damn Burritos Ain't Good For Nothing But A Hippie, When He's High On Weed
The world's our oyster, except for the fact that we just rammed a wooden stake in our brother's heart because he turned into a vampire, even though we don't believe in vampires. Aside from that unfortunate business, everything's hunky-dory....
Oh, What A Night
What's coming up in the world of minor league baseball ... we proudly give you Rick Chandler's Minor Enterprise! Not content with the more pedestrian promotions often associated with the minors, the Long Beach Armada (Independent Golden League) are into the higher concepts. They ask the really big ...
Finally, We Can Love Women's Tennis Once Again (Gurgle) ...
So what, we have freaking robot children now, but we can't invent a female tennis player who is both super smoking hot and amazingly talented? Well that's just a load of ... wait. Ana Ivanovic? Could it be true?...
Living And Dying With Your Team ... Live On Video!
Last week, West Ham United faced potential relegation from the Premiership. It came down to one vital game ... and this man was there to do everything in his power to help his team survive....
ESPN Would Like To Remind You Of Its Omnipotence
Let's say, hypothetically speaking, that instead of watching Game One of the NBA Finals last night, you decided your evening would be better spent watching the MLS game between the Colorado Rapids and the Houston Dynamo on ESPN2. That wouldn't be our choice, but whatever: You just love the MLS and e...
Where's Barry Manilow When You Really Need Him?
Attention all aspiring songwriters: Spain needs lyrics for its National Anthem. This is especially important considering the Summer Olympics are coming up, and Spanish athletes want to sing, sing, sing! Their fans are tired of sitting there mute during the medal ceremony as the Swiss are belting out...
Creeping Fascism Update: Terror At The Ballpark
Be warned, rowdy baseball fans: If you act up at Seattle's Safeco Field, you're just liable to get a red card. Yep. Seattle Weekly is all over the story of the latest trend among Major League Baseball teams; cracking down on rude, loutish behavior in the stands (nothing yet on stifling Gary Sheffiel...
Sebastien Gacond Is Gay (As Long As You Make It Clear It's The "Happy" Kind Of Gay)
This is Sebastien Gacond. He is a professional triathlete, which is impressive; it must be difficult to be an athlete with three major appendages. He is also not gay. Not gay at all. Nothing gay about Sebastien Gacond. He is all man. It is extremely important that you understand this....
Watch, Hoof, Watch!
You've sat through "The Sopranos," waiting for them to just settle the whole matter already so you can stop seeing ads for it. You ordered HBO for one reason only. And the night you've been waiting for is among us: It's the HBO Barbaro Documentary....
Like The Bachelor, But Somehow Dumber
Remember Mark Philippoussis? He was a vaguely douchey tennis "star" who dated Paris Hilton before it set your genitals on fire to date Paris Hilton. (This could be when she was nine.) Well, he has made the next logical jump in his "career;" He's appearing on a dating reality show. That NBC dating sh...
Hey, Everybody, Pasty Fellas!
As surely anyone with a commenting account — and we remind anyone who wants one to email the Deadtern and state your case — knows by now, the ladies over at Ladies ... have posted their Hot Blogger Bracket. The whole experiment is a perfect case study in blog physics: Hold a contest that only blogge...
Carl Monday: The Early Years
Ever wonder what drives crusading field journalist Carl Monday? He didn't just pursue the Mike Cooper library case out of thin air; there had to be an underlying force, some childhood trauma, perhaps, which would cause him in later life to obsess over a perfectly ordinary human function. We wonder w...
We've Always Thought We Kind Of Look Like Youppi
In a clever conceit, the guys at Rivalfish have come up with a comprehensive list of which celebrities look like which major sports team's logos. It sounds gimmick, and it kind of is, but they've certainly put in their research, as evidenced by the (not at ALL offensive!) Chief Nok-a-Homa / Tim Curr...
Kevin Durant Is Low On The Upper Body Strength
Among those who care more about silly workout statistics and the notion of watching young men in their underwear run, jump and lift things than simply watching how preternaturally blessed athletes dominate their sports, there was considerable concern this week about Kevin Durant's relatively weak sh...
Some Things You See That You Can't Unsee
Friends, we have seen death; we have walked up to it, looked it straight in the eye and then scampered off and hid under our desk....
It's Probably Not Smart For This Guy To Show His Face In Esbjerg Anytime Soon
Over the weekend, a fan of Denmark's soccer team sprinted on the field and attacked a referee after a call went again the Danes. That's bad enough, but the real problem was that Denmark had rallied back from a three-goal deficit to the tie the game ... and after the attack, the referee abandoned the...
Tank Johnson Would Like To Be The Face Of The NFL
In case you were wondering, being involved in a shooting incident in Vegas — though you didn't fire the weapon and all you really did was hang out with shady people and try to get your money back after a rather ill-advised "making it rain" incident — will earn you a one-year suspension from the NFL....
Nice Pitching, You Blockhead
Look, there's probably no tougher job in baseball than that of closer. But that being said, it's hard to imagine someone failing at it in more spectacular fashion than did the Giants' Armando Benitez last week. The Giants had a one-run lead in the ninth against the Mets on May 29 when Benitez was br...