ea Page 2224 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Week In Review: Gobble...Gobble...Make It Rain
• The week just kept getting worse and worse for Pacman Jones. • Peeing in the backseat of a cop car? Bad idea. • Michael Irvin, ESPN hardly knew ye. • Taking way too long to destroy a mascot. • This is what it has come to: Rocky Balboa is on steroids. • One bad-ass hockey fight. • Tom Brady, procre...
110. Get A Job, Punk.
We saw your last fight, Shawrelle. Spent so much time face down, we thought the canvas had titties....
Baseball Season Preview: Seattle Mariners
You might remember, from back at the beginning of the NFL season, when we previewed each team by having a writer we liked write about their favorite team....
... Or, As The NHL Calls It, 'Thursday'
For those who like their NHL violence varied and wanton, we present Thursday's Ottawa at Buffalo matchup, which makes the Spanish Inquisition look like a tickle fight. The Sabres' 6-5 OT win featured 100 total penalty minutes, with eight penalties for fighting, four for hooking, two for instigating ...
Baseball Season Preview: Atlanta Braves
You might remember, from back at the beginning of the NFL season, when we previewed each team by having a writer we liked write about their favorite team....
Those Aren't Bags: They're Instruments Of Death
The East Carolina Pirates are having a tough year. They're 5-21, 0-13 in Conference USA, they've lost 13 in a row and 19 of their last 20, and they just lost a heartbreaker to Marshall at home. It's not a good time in Greenville....
Baseball Season Preview: Tampa Bay Devil Rays
EM>You might remember, from back at the beginning of the NFL season, when we previewed each team by having a writer we liked write about their favorite team....
Britney Spears And Minor League Hockey; A Match Made In Heaven
We really don't know how to say this so we're just going to say it: The Syracuse Crunch of the American Hockey League is offering any woman who shaves her head a free ticket to their game on Saturday against the Manitoba Moose. (Terrorists throw down their weapons in disgust, give up)....
Baseball Season Preview: New York Mets
You might remember, from back at the beginning of the NFL season, when we previewed each team by having a writer we liked write about their favorite team....
You Will Dance With Shaq And You Will Like It
There aren't many good reasons not to like Shaq. This was Shaq having fun at the All-Star practice yesterday, forcing LeBron and Dwight Howard to have fun along with him. I realize that Shaq is not everyone's cup of tea, but when he retires, who's going to do stuff like this? It seems like Shaq is m...
Week In Review: An Elephant Attacks A Car
• Goodbye, Mr. Schottenheimer. • We do love ourselves some dog show. • This video is what we thought it was, and so much more. • Fat man dancing! Woo! • Jamar Smith is about to go the way of Chief Illiniwek. • It's always fun to play with Craig's List. • Now your "conversations" are with the Associa...
Rarely Are Pillow Fights Won So Decisively
We imagine that this is what the ancient Roman gladitorial games must have been like, if they fought with pillows, and one of the combatants was an incredible wuss. "Think that's the worst of it? Release the kitten!"...
If Jesus Came Back And Saw What's Going On In His Name, He'd Never Stop Throwing Up
A week ago we bought a rifle ... we went to the store, and we bought a rifle! We were gonna, you know, if they told us we had a tumor, we were gonna kill ourselves. The only thing that might have have stopped us is that our parents would be devastated. So, you know, we would have had to shoot them a...
Who's Sorry Now? Naked Hi-Jinx Edition
Simply put, we can think of no more embarrassing yet hilarious opening line to a letter than this:...
When Death Will Be Merciful
If your excitement still hasn't died down from the 30,000th "SportsCenter" special earlier this week, you're in luck: Only four more years until SportsCenter 35,000!...
Tim Hardaway's Deeper Hole
OK, so here's what we want to happen today: Every half hour, we want someone to call Tim Hardaway to ask him about his comments about hating gay people. You can ask him the same question every time, every half hour. It'll be great, because he'll find a way to dig himself an even deeper hole each tim...
Tim Hardaway Wants Only Straight Men To See His Penis
So, by now, everyone has heard former NBA point guard Tim Hardaway's comments on the Dan LeBatard show yesterday, but just in case you're up for some caveman rhetoric — he'll have the roast duck with the mango salsa — here's the full audio of the interview....
Hey, The Heat Are Over At .500. Wake Riley.
Dan LeBatard, handsome as ever, brings up what everyone's thinking: Pat Riley's kind of a dick when it comes to abandoning his team when times are tough. Sure, he had some physical issues, but it seems obvious by now that it's not a coincidence that when the Heat are struggling, Riley's "recovering,...
Chris Berman Isn't Here To Talk About The Past
Clay Travis, one of the bright spots over at CBS Sportsline, once opined about the daily hell that "You're With Me, Leather" could potentially put Chris Berman through, but as far as we knew, no one had ever actually asked him about it in a public forum. That is, until this weekend, at the Pebble Be...