edm Page 27 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
You're Not Dispelling Any Stereotypes Here, CFL
Think that Browns rookie was pissed? After a practice spat, a CFL lineman stormed off the field, then returned waving a shovel. What a uniquely Canadian way to settle an argument. [AP]...
Vin Scully Talks A Lot, Science Proves
The quants at the Wall Street Journal, continuing their whimsical efforts to reduce the sporting universe to a ranked list, have scientifically determined which of our baseball broadcasters is the chattiest. And, somehow, it isn't Michael Kay....
Matt Ryan Is A Handsome Man, Science Proves
The screeching teenyboppers at the Wall Street Journal bring word that Matt Ryan is the most knee-meltingly dreamy quarterback in the NFL. It's true because science says so. And believe it or not, this actually sort of matters....
And Here Comes The "Pitino Is A Baby Killer" Hysteria
Shockingly, Louisville's pro-life students are not impressed with how their coach handled the post-restaurant floor mom-banging: "Rick Pitino was willing to take his own child's life in order to cover up a cheap, tawdry affair."[ALL.org]...
CFL Lineman Sacks Purse Snatcher On Streets Of Edmonton
Because we all need to believe in the power of sport again, here's a story involving an athlete that has a happy ending. If reading about a thief get crunched by a professional football player makes you happy, that is....
A Nutty Theory About Lance Armstrong
A couple of scientists argue that Lance Armstrong did indeed employ certain exotic performance-enhancing procedures before his run of seven consecutive Tour De France victories: namely, getting his diseased testicle lopped off....
Soderbergh's <i>Moneyball</i> Script Too Real To Get Made
The Sony Pictures executive who pulled the plug on Moneyball says that Steven Soderbergh changed the original script because he didn't want anything in the movie that didn't actually happen. So Billy Beane isn't a sweaty, foul-mouthed, Hooters waitress slayer?...
The Lightning's Draft Pick Really Does Read The Articles
Q: What's the last book you read? Viktor Hedman: "I don't want to say. The last one was Jenna Jameson, How to Make Love Like a Porn Star." Delightfully tacky, yet literately unrefined. [JoeBoltsFan]...
Billy Beane Is A Golden God: Excerpts From The Scrapped Moneyball Script
It looks like Moneyball might not be coming to the big screen anytime soon because director Steven Soderbergh tinkered with the script and everyone realized that a movie version of the book made about as much sense as Joe Morgan....
Giants Stadium Demolition and the Hunt for Hoffa
With Giants Stadium scheduled to be torn down next year, authorities could have the opportunity to see if Jimmy Hoffa really is buried under the turf. Turns out they don't plan on finding out....
Matt Millen <i>Is</i> The New Richard Nixon
Sports Illustrated has just published—courtesy of writer Don Banks—one of the most head-scratchingly bonkers essays of all-time, wherein Banks compares Matt Millen to Richard Nixon ... and somehow thinks that a compliment....
With The 58th Pick, The Boston Celtics Might Select The Globe
The Red Sox and Bruins own NESN. The New York Times, at least for now, controls a minority stake of the Red Sox. And soon, the Celtics might join the incest between Boston teams and the outlets that cover them....
Brad Childress Is Full Of Crap
Brad Childress came out of hiding today to complain about all those unscrupulous reporters and their unnamed sources who make up lies about Brad Childress and create nothing but trouble. Trouble he could end in two seconds if he'd just pick up the phone....
Adam LaRoche Is A F&*#ing Soldier
The Pirates first baseman on this week's Nate McLouth deal: "It's kind of like being with your platoon in a battle, and guys keep dropping around you." Kellen Winslow adds: "We don't care about nobody except this P." [ESPN]...
Todd Tichenor Got His Money's Worth Last Night
Umpire Todd Tichenor made history (maybe? probably not) when he ejected four people in one inning of the Red Sox-Twins game last night. Hey, when you're a temporarily fill-in just called up from the minors, you've got to take your shots when you can get them....
Jim Edmonds: Cougar Bait
This not-so-young lady walked into the centerfelder's 15 Club in St. Louis with a little black dress and a white-stripped smile and walked out with a "Jim Edmonds Mowed My Lawn" t-shirt. [St. Louis Today]...
This Guy Has A Problem With Dwyane Wade
Some days, you wake up to emails containing videos of drunk billionaires verbally accosting Miami Heat star Dwyane Wade in a parking garage. Today is one of those days. (UPDATE)...
Jim Edmonds Would Like To Invite You To His Stripper Battle Royal
Here's something fun for Midwesterners looking for a bazoonga-infested activity on a lonely Friday night in St. Louis: It's a "Queen Of The Pole" party, with your very special guest, former Cardinal Jim Edmonds....
NFHS Rules Committee: A-11 Offense, Not Yours
Uh oh. The National Federation of State High School Associations (NFHS) Football Rules Committee may have just put the kibosh on the A-11, our new favorite everyone-just-go-long offense....
Installing The A-11 Offense For Fun And Profit
Just out today: the A-11 Installation Manual. For only $199, now your football team can have all 11 offensive players eligible on every play (offer not valid in North Carolina)....