edm Page 27 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Don't Celebrate Just Yet: Brilliant Strategy Tainted Win, Says Football Genius
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Sports Fella Summons His Inner Black Guy For LeBron James Column, With Humorous Results
Bill Simmons watched LeBron James play basketball in person and he's very excited about it. We're talking 3,144 words of excitement and awe and Witnessing. Then he some how managed to go overboard beyond his usual overboarding....

The Edmonton Oilers Will Pay For Shooters By the Bottle Or Not At All
The following story pits millionaire athletes versus a publicity seeking, possible-price-gouging restaurateur. And you will be required to choose sides. This is one of them moral quandaries, like when you're attracted to pictures of your wife when she was fourteen....

Fans, Media Recruited (And Manipulated) In Fight Over Televised Sports (Updated)
Some media outlets want you to rage against a new lobbying organization that claims to represent sports fans, but is actually a front for satellite companies looking to destroy cable TV sports. But who is really manipulating who here?...

Oilers' Souray None Too Pleased With Ex's 'Erotic Revue'
I'm not sure, but I think this might be the first time we've linked to a Robin Leach story....

Your Food/Finance/Heavy Construction Metaphor Of The Day
"[W]hen a team gets on a postseason roll, it usually produces a steamroller effect. Sometimes the roll goes stale, but if you get a fast bite after it leaves the oven, it still tastes good and pays dividends." [NYDailyNews.com]...

Gretzky Heads To Toronto In 46-Player Trade?
A new book claims former Leafs owner Harold Ballard once tried to trade his entire franchise to Edmonton. (He wanted to swap cities with the Oilers in exchange for $50 million.) Then Janet Jones would have married Darryl Sittler. [TorontoStar]...

What’s The Next Big Late Night Scandal? LET’S PLAY ODDSMAKER!
I was deeply offended by David Letterman's admission last week that he shits where he eats. Not on any moral issue, mind you, but because it gave me a mental image of David Letterman fucking....

You're Not Dispelling Any Stereotypes Here, CFL
Think that Browns rookie was pissed? After a practice spat, a CFL lineman stormed off the field, then returned waving a shovel. What a uniquely Canadian way to settle an argument. [AP]...

Vin Scully Talks A Lot, Science Proves
The quants at the Wall Street Journal, continuing their whimsical efforts to reduce the sporting universe to a ranked list, have scientifically determined which of our baseball broadcasters is the chattiest. And, somehow, it isn't Michael Kay....

Matt Ryan Is A Handsome Man, Science Proves
The screeching teenyboppers at the Wall Street Journal bring word that Matt Ryan is the most knee-meltingly dreamy quarterback in the NFL. It's true because science says so. And believe it or not, this actually sort of matters....

And Here Comes The "Pitino Is A Baby Killer" Hysteria
Shockingly, Louisville's pro-life students are not impressed with how their coach handled the post-restaurant floor mom-banging: "Rick Pitino was willing to take his own child's life in order to cover up a cheap, tawdry affair."[ALL.org]...

CFL Lineman Sacks Purse Snatcher On Streets Of Edmonton
Because we all need to believe in the power of sport again, here's a story involving an athlete that has a happy ending. If reading about a thief get crunched by a professional football player makes you happy, that is....

A Nutty Theory About Lance Armstrong
A couple of scientists argue that Lance Armstrong did indeed employ certain exotic performance-enhancing procedures before his run of seven consecutive Tour De France victories: namely, getting his diseased testicle lopped off....

Soderbergh's <i>Moneyball</i> Script Too Real To Get Made
The Sony Pictures executive who pulled the plug on Moneyball says that Steven Soderbergh changed the original script because he didn't want anything in the movie that didn't actually happen. So Billy Beane isn't a sweaty, foul-mouthed, Hooters waitress slayer?...

The Lightning's Draft Pick Really Does Read The Articles
Q: What's the last book you read? Viktor Hedman: "I don't want to say. The last one was Jenna Jameson, How to Make Love Like a Porn Star." Delightfully tacky, yet literately unrefined. [JoeBoltsFan]...

Billy Beane Is A Golden God: Excerpts From The Scrapped Moneyball Script
It looks like Moneyball might not be coming to the big screen anytime soon because director Steven Soderbergh tinkered with the script and everyone realized that a movie version of the book made about as much sense as Joe Morgan....

Giants Stadium Demolition and the Hunt for Hoffa
With Giants Stadium scheduled to be torn down next year, authorities could have the opportunity to see if Jimmy Hoffa really is buried under the turf. Turns out they don't plan on finding out....

Matt Millen <i>Is</i> The New Richard Nixon
Sports Illustrated has just published—courtesy of writer Don Banks—one of the most head-scratchingly bonkers essays of all-time, wherein Banks compares Matt Millen to Richard Nixon ... and somehow thinks that a compliment....

With The 58th Pick, The Boston Celtics Might Select The Globe
The Red Sox and Bruins own NESN. The New York Times, at least for now, controls a minority stake of the Red Sox. And soon, the Celtics might join the incest between Boston teams and the outlets that cover them....