eli Page 117 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Little League Coach Gives Great Post-Game Speech To Kids After Loss
This is a great little reminder that not all youth coaches and parents are psychopaths. After losing to Jackie Robinson West 8-7, Dave Belisle gathered his Cumberland American team from Rhode Island to let them know that even though they lost, it's not a reason to be upset or disappointed. ...

Crazy Minor League Manager Is Back With Another Meltdown
It's been a while since we've heard from Joe Mikulik, the manager of the Class A Myrtle Beach Pelicans who basically invented the "minor league coach goes straight apeshit" genre. During a game against the Salem Red Sox, Mikulik proved that he still has his fastball....

Bo Pelini On Ice Bucket Challenge: "Let's Get It Over With"
I don't know how much more of the Ice Buckets we can take, but I'm going to highlight this one because glimmering ray of sunshine and source of life itself Bo Pelini took on the cold waters for charity awareness thusly: "I've been challenged, I guess, to the Ice Bucket, so let's get it over with."...

Rob Manfred Is Your Next MLB Commissioner
After some confusion and sidetalks between Bud Selig and Chicago White Sox owner Jerry Reinsdorf, leader of an insurrectionist element among MLB owners, baseball has its successor to Selig: Rob Manfred will take over as the next commissioner after Selig retires in January....

Javelin Thrower Impales 75-Meter Sign; Judges Struggle To Remove It
This throw at the European Athletics Championships by Sweden's Kim Amb would be impressive if the point of javelin throwing was accuracy instead of distance. (Also, if Amb had intentionally aimed at the marker.) Amb didn't, though, so no points for him....

The Brutal Beauty Of Our National Game: Talking With John Schulian
Today marks the publication of the Library of America's latest sports anthology—-Football: Great Writing about the National Sport. It's edited by our old chum John Schulian....

Today, MLB's Owners Decide How To Wage War
MLB's 30 owners will meet in Baltimore today to elect the first new commissioner since Bud Selig took the reins in 1992—unless there is enough discord and politicking to prevent any candidate from receiving the required 23 votes. Which there almost certainly is! Today will see the first open, public...

Confused Bo Pelini Will Take A Picture With You On Your Wedding Day
It's unclear whether these two lucky kids are Nebraska fans, but it's possible they are. I mean look at Pelini's face, he does not share their enthusiasm. His distant gaze doesn't necessarily say "fuck you, fans. Fuck all of you," but there is a healthy dose of consternation. ...

The Wisconsin State Fair Has One Food-On-A-Stick Too Many
So here's the full list of truncheon-mounted foodstuffs at the Wisconsin State Fair, currently underway in, uh, well, Wisconsin, of course. Actually, no, here's not the full list, because the full list apparently has more entries on it than there are human beings to consume them. Wisconsonianitia...

This Is The Best Excuse For Failing A Breathalyzer Test
The Daily Mirror's Sophie Gadd called attention to this News of the Weird item, and we here at Deadspin had some thoughts about it. We discussed it in our staff chatroom....

We Missed Your Face, Eli
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....

The Genius Of Baseball's Hillbilly Philosopher
A few weeks ago, Dizzy Dean was inducted into the Baseball Reliquary's Shrine of the Eternals. Our man John Schulian was there to honor the occasion. ...

Patriots Screw Panthers, Claim Their Sixth-Round Rookie Running Back
Panthers running back Tyler Gaffney injured his left meniscus last Friday, so his rookie season's already done. Normally, Carolina would place him on injured reserve, but because teams still have 90-man rosters at this point of the season, injured players have to clear waivers before they can be shi...

Gordon Ramsay's Kid Will Host A Cooking Show, For Some Reason
Gordon Ramsay, professional emotional abuser of reality-TV cooks, has a 12-year-old daughter named Tilly. And Tilly has an ambition: to indulge a 12-year-old's desire for fame and adoration in the hopes that a cooking show starring a pre-teen will goose a certain famous TV person's flagging busin...

GM Gets Prostate Exam In Stadium, Sings "Take Me Out To The Ballgame"
Andy Milovich, general manager of the Texas Rangers' Single-A affiliate Myrtle Beach Pelicans, took minor league baseball stunts to a whole new level. He got a prostate exam in front of the whole stadium at tonight's game against the Frederick Keys and did so during the seventh-inning stretch while ...

Naked Burger Thieves On The Lam In Florida Beach Town
Listen. Sometimes it's 3:06 in the morning, you and a couple of your buddies are wandering around a beach town in various states of undress, and suddenly you have need of 60 hamburgers, three pounds of bacon, three red peppers, and, uh, a paddleboard. Immediately! And the grocery stores are cl...

Hockey Players Photobombed By The Queen Of England
Australian field hockey players Jayde Taylor and Brooke Peris are in Glasgow, Scotland, for the Commonwealth Games, and earlier today posted a photo with an unexpected guest to Twitter. They knew what they were doing, thus making it not a true photobomb, but we'll allow it. Watch out, ladies! She's ...

Queen Elizabeth's Racehorse Fails Drug Test
Estimate, a five-year-old mare owned by Queen Elizabeth II, tested positive for morphine following a recent race. Morphine is illegal on race days, but it appears this may all have been a big mistake....

Peyton Manning Scolds College Kids, Achieves Maximum Dadness
The New York Daily News has a cool story about hanging out at the Manning family's annual summer football camp—which is less of a camp at this point and more of a pilgrimage site for thousands of wannabe NFL players—and there are some entertaining anecdotes in there about Peyton, Eli, and Archie. Bu...