eli Page 131 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Marco Belinelli's Giant Balls Earned Him A $15,000 Fine
Of all the people to finish off the Nets, who'd have guessed it would be Joe Johnson Marco Belinelli? But it was Belinelli's massive invisible testicles, whipped out in celebration after this clutch three, that got the NBA's attention....

Thin Air: In The Mountains With Steve Carlton, Armed Conspiracist
Originally published as "Thin Mountain Air" in the April 1994 issue of Philadelphia Magazine. The story appears in The Best Sports Writing of Pat Jordan published by Persea books. A postscript with thoughts from both the author and editor follows....

I'm Tryin' to Get Money Like Felipe Lopez
So rapped the Beatnuts back in 1994. That's when Lopez was a big deal in New York. And that's around the time Susan Orlean wrote about Lopez for the New Yorker (actually, her profile appeared in the spring of '93):...

It Is Race Day And I Am The Worst: Recovering Fatass Soundtrack
I screwed up big time. I skipped my final long run before the race and barely ran all week. I am a real bastard sometimes. What follows is the playlist I would have listened to, had I not been so characteristically lazy and good-for-nothing. Here's a Spotify version for you, if you are into sonic re...

Former Packer Supports Jason Collins, Gets Church Appearance Cancelled
Leroy Butler, the former Packers safety who played 12 seasons in Green Bay, was set to make an appearance at a Wisconsin church and talk about whatever it is that former NFL players talk about when they go to churches. Butler's apperance was cancelled, though, when the church discovered that he had ...

"And That's The Cubs? My Fuckin' Ass!": Lee Elia's Famous Rant Is 30
On April 29, 1983, the Cubs lost by a run to the Dodgers at Wrigley Field, dropping them to 5-14, last place in the National League East. Afterward, a reporter asked Cubs manager Lee Elia a question about fan support. Elia responded with an unrivaled fusillade of profanities....

My Personal Record Is A Completed Race: Recovering Fatass Soundtrack
A weekly look at the iPod of a regular dude trying to run himself out of an early grave....

Who Hugged The NFL Commissioner Longest At Last Night's Draft?
We don't know if, as a child, Roger Goodell dreamed of one day being best known for embracing enormous men and then, later, taking money from them. The Draft Day Hug Era is at its peak, and like last year, we decided to find out who hugged the NFL commissioner longest....

Rain Makes Everything More Dramatic: Recovering Fatass Soundtrack
A weekly look at the iPod of a regular dude trying to run himself out of an early grave....

Félix Pié Was "Covered In Beer" After Near-Fight With Fans
With all the other news going on this week, we missed the fallout from the Pirates' minor league dustup on Tuesday, the one that found outfielder Félix Pié—and possibly other players—trying to climb into the stands to fight fans in Toledo. A reader who was there has contacted us with more specifics....

The Tigers And Mariners Struck Out At Historic Levels Last Night
Max Scherzer and Felix Hernandez are both fine pitchers who strike hitters out in gobs. But they had never before been part of something like last night's Tigers-Mariners game. Nor had any other Tiger or Mariner....

Minor Leaguer Reportedly Tried To Climb Into Stands To Fight Fan
Details are still scarce and even a bit contradictory, but according to reports, fans in Toledo angered one or more Indianapolis Indians players last night by throwing things at them, and that at one point former major leaguer Félix Pié attempted to climb over a railing to go after people before bei...

The Warriors Hazed Rookie Festus Ezeli By Removing His Car's Tires
They also hid the tires in different spots, and even filmed Ezeli's reaction. Still not as bad as what they did last week to Kent Bazemore's car. Harrison Barnes and Draymond Green are hereby warned to keep an eye on their rides....

The Joys Of Outrunning Someone You Shouldn't: Recovering Fatass Soundtrack
A weekly look at the iPod of a regular dude trying to run himself out of an early grave....

Watch Eli Manning Caress Chris Mortensen's Head
Peyton Manning is working out with Wes Welker at Duke University, which is the second-whitest sentence ever written. (The first is "The Masters starts today.")...

Failure Is An Option, Or Why You'll Always Be A Loser And That's OK: Recovering Fatass Soundtrack
A weekly look at the iPod of a regular dude trying to run himself out of an early grave....

<em>Saturday Night Live</em> Took On The Mike Rice Video Tonight
Tonight's Saturday Night Live unleashed this parody just as the Michigan-Syracuse game was coming to its ugly end, so the Mike Rice-savvy audience out there may have missed it....

Hockey Player Loses Game, Fires Stick At Referee
Lithuania lost to Great Britain, 3-2, during pool play of the U-18 world championships yesterday in Estonia. The Brits won on a short-handed goal with 32 seconds to play. Lithuania's Danielius Nomanovas did not take it well....

There Is No Such Thing As "Sweating Out A Hangover": A Recovering Fatass's Weekly iPod Playlist
A weekly look at the iPod of a regular dude trying to run himself out of an early grave....
