eli Page 131 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Prayer Is The Only Thing That Can Save The Ryan Hall Documentary
The 41st Day, filmmaker Tim Jeffreys' documentary chronicling U.S. marathoner Ryan Hall's late, great career, updated its Kickstarter page today. More than two years after it exceeded its fundraising goal and collected more than $57,000, the film is not yet finished. And no, there is no end in sight...
This Man Should Be Brazil's Next Manager
The Brazilian soccer association has confirmed reports that Brazil's manager, Luiz Felipe Scolari, has resigned. Huge surprise! Luckily, we've come up with the perfect, if unconventional, choice to be his successor....
Aaron Hernandez Evidence Includes 33 Pages Of Texts With Bill Belichick
Documents made public today reveal some of the evidence that prosecutors have turned over to Aaron Hernandez's defense in the Odin Lloyd murder case. Among them, interviews with Patriots higher-ups and whole mess of text messages exchanged between Hernandez and Bill Belichick in the months leading u...
Luiz Felipe Scolari Falls On His Sword
There's something about a mollywhomping that turns losers philosophical. As if there's no place to hide, no excuses that can possibly be made, and the only way to salvage some dignity is to humble yourself before a world already inclined to be sympathetic. After Brazil's 7-1 defeat at the hands of G...
Melissa McCarthy's Self-Made Waterloo: <em>Tammy</em>, Reviewed
1. So what happened here, exactly? Tammy is a passion project for Melissa McCarthy—she co-wrote the film with her husband, Ben Falcone, who also directed and has a small role as a fast-food manager—and she spent nearly a decade trying to make it. So why is it so, so terrible? This is the movie McCa...
Texas Tech Recruit Punches Women's Hoops Star In Pickup Game
Incoming freshman cornerback Nigel Bethel II was dismissed from the Texas Tech football team yesterday, a day after punching Amber Battle, the Lady Raiders basketball team's leading scorer, in the face during a pickup game. Rec center hoops are serious fucking business....
The International And North American Junior Girl's Archery Champion, 1935
Another sure shot from the Lively Morgue. ...
Watch Various Americans Deal With Portugal's Last-Minute Equalizer
This group of U.S. fans weren't aware of the hammer of disappointment that was about to be dropped on their heads. Right in the middle of their "I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN" chant, Varela's equalizer ties the game, and ruins everything. It's so painful....
Reporter Interviews Brazilian Coach Look-Alike, Thinks It's Real Coach
A Brazilian columnist and TV reporter thought he hit the jackpot: he was seated on a plane next to the coach and star player of the host country's national team in the middle of the World Cup. So, during the flight from Rio to Sao Paolo, Mario Sergio Conti asked a few questions and wrote a column th...
Citrus-Beer Smackdown: Bud Lite Lime Vs. Coors Light Summer Brew
These are boom times for the better-than-Bud beer-drinker. Last year, sales of craft beer—which I will never try to define, but which all warring factions of whiners and definers seem to agree means, at a bare minimum, "beer made in a less industrial fashion by smaller, independent, more quality-con...
Rainbow-Cake Recipe Inspires Comment Apocalypse
This is just a really special moment for humanity. We take you to the website for Fox 101.9, a radio station in Melbourne, Australia, where "Web Guy Josh" has published a peppy, harmless instructional post for the making of an "Amazing Rainbow Tie-Dye Number Surprise Cake."...
The <em>Sleeping Beauty</em> Reboot You Never Wanted: <em>Maleficent</em>, Reviewed.
Back in 2006, Patton Oswalt had a standup bit where he fantasized about going back in time and killing George Lucas so he'd never make the Star Wars prequels. In the imaginary conversation, Lucas tries to sell Oswalt on those reviled films by assuring the comedian that all the things he digs about t...
Bill Murray Crashes Bachelor Party, Gives Awesome Speech
In the video above, you see shape-shifting coyote trickster god Bill Murray walking in on a bachelor party in Charleston, dishing out some advice to everyone EXCEPT the groom. Here's reader Stephen with the background:...
What The "Palace Intrigue" Over Bud Selig's Successor Is Really About
If Bud Selig's commissionership were a heist movie, we'd now be at the part where the thieves were gathered in a dimly lit room to count out the loot, and Chicago White Sox owner Jerry Reinsdorf would be the one with a gun in his hand, telling everyone to back away from the table slowly....
Milan Lucic Gets Heated In The Handshake Line After Game 7 Loss
We're not sure what Milan Lucic said to Dale Weise and Alexei Emelin in the handshake line after Boston's Game 7 loss to Montreal, but the conversation didn't look pleasant....
Please Adopt This Cat Named "Eli Manning"
Are you looking to own a cat? If you're around New York City/Long Island, adopt Eli Manning....
"MyFace, YourFace, InstantFace": Belichick Talks Manziel Scouting Report
Bill Belichick has gone full Drunk Uncle. In a press conference after the second night of the NFL Draft, Bill Belichick talked a lot about the Jimmy Garoppolo selection, but he also addressed the leaked scouting report on Johnny Manziel and his response was equal parts dismissive and nonsensical. "W...