eli Page 155 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Happy Birthday, Tiger Woods!
Wherever you are. (He turns 34 today.) By the way, Elin's 30th is on Friday so I'm sure it will be a busy week down at the Windermere Zales. [Other Tiger tidbits @ LA Times/Sporting Blog]...

Erik Kuselias Would Like To Tweet You
Speaking of tweeting, the ESPN horndog of some note has joined Twitter, where, as you can see, he is being warmly welcomed. [@ESPNErik, @Will_ga]...

I Was There: Even The Losers Get Lucky Sometimes
There are plenty of decade retrospectives happening everywhere right now, but we'd also like you to participate. Tell us about the best game you've seen in person this decade with the tag #iwasthere. Mine: Patriots at Giants, Week 17!...

The One Where We Find Out Why This Man Is Having Sex With A Car
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another. (NSFW and NOT SAFE FOR CHRISTMAS.)...

Getting The Kinks Out Of Marriage
So there's this plucky startup headed by NFL wives to "strengthen the relationships between pro athletes and their significant others." The debut party's favors include "adult toys" for the men; strip poles for the women may be forthcoming. Seriously. [CNBC]...

Mike Tomlin Wins The Weekend
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Mike Tomlin, who managed to avoid joining the list of all-time bonehead coaches ever in the history of anything. Winning is helpful!...

I Can't Believe I'm Defending Michael Irvin
Irvin says he'd trade his three Super Bowl rings and his Hall of Fame induction to have one undefeated season. Despite the pundits' ensuing ridicule and scorn, his hypothetical choice could be the right one....

Why Latest Tiger Madam Could Be Full of Crap: The Manning Files
So for tonight's Eagles/Giants showdown, I figured this would be the best time to drop this snippet of scurrilous rumor courtesy of that opportunistic madam, Michelle Braun, who keeps insisting some of Tiger's mistresses are whores from her agency....

White Men Can Jump To Conclusions
A few days ago, ESPN's Outside the Lines did another of those features in which everyone puts on his Concerned Face and talks very gravely about Serious Things. Like, for instance, why there aren't more white dudes in the NBA....

Who Is Being Taken Away In An Ambulance From Tiger's House Now? (UPDATE)
Several blonde women of various ages may or may not have driven large vehicles from the Tiger Woods' household to a hospital and possibly back again in the latest craven attempt to keep the family's private life in the news....

Having Eli Manning's Autograph More Humiliating Than Losing To Eli Manning
In the catalog of manufactured outrage, it's hard to think of a dumber example than Dallas players somehow being angry at Eli Manning for signing a wall in the new Cowboys Stadium. Plaster has never been so disrespected!...

Elin Gives Jaimee Grubbs The Janice Rossi Treatment
TMZ says Tiger's wife called the "Tool Academy" star and left this message: "You know who this is because you're fucking my husband." 2-R! Rossi! Get your own goddamn man! [TMZ]...

Tiger Woods And The World's Most Expensive Traffic Ticket
The Florida Highway Patrol has ended their investigation of the Thanksgiving Night mishap that Changed America Forever. No criminal charges will be filed. Just a small fine and a very big marital mess. So what do we know now?...

Chinese Crack Tiger Woods Case With Dramatic CGI Re-Enactment
Simply ... incredible. We are through the looking glass, people. [TMZ, MSF; See also this.]...

Tiger And Elin: A Match Made In Image-Management Heaven
The Daily Beast has a look at the life of possible SUV basher Elin Nordegren Woods, a discreet "cipher" of a woman who couldn't have been more perfect for Tiger if she'd come tattooed with a Nike Swoosh....

TMZ Wins The Weekend
In sports, everybody is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like TMZ, which might as well stand for "Tiger Media Zone" the way they've wrapped the Eldrick/Elin saga in a nice warm Snuggie of coverage....

Searching For....The Person Who Stole Grady Sizemore's Coffee Cup-Penis Photos From His Computer
Because Mr. Sizemore has requested an MLB detective help find the culprit. I'd check here and here, first, but it appears a Sizemore stalker still roams the internets. Be on high alert. Probably for this lady....

Bud Selig: Retrospecticus
In honor of the commish starting the three-year countdown clock until retirement, I thought it would be instructive to take a look at his tenure a fair and thorough manner: bullet points!...

Bud Selig To Step Down After 2012 Season
According to a report in the Chicago Tribune, Selig intends to call it quits after the 2012 season. If an official portrait is ever commissioned, I would suggest using the above photo. It seems...oddly fitting. [Chicago Tribune]...

And Now TMZ Turns Tiger Woods Into Lionel Richie With One Fateful Post
Here we go: "Tiger Woods did not suffer facial lacerations from a car accident. They were inflicted by his wife, Elin Nordegren — according to a conversation Woods had Friday after the accident." And when he tried to get away......