eli Page 156 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Bill Belichick, Terror Of The High Seas, On Roller Skates
Your morning roundup for Sept. 23, the day we learned Einstein might have been wrong about that whole theory of relativity jazz. Photo courtesy Larry Brown Sports, via @xmasape. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Djokovic-Federer Had Nothing On Christ-Satan, Says Writer Who Is Not Joking
"The match between Djokovic and Federer in New York was quite a spectacle, but it was nothing compared to Christ's victory over sin and death and Satan. 'And having disarmed the powers and authorities, he made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them by the cross.' (Colossians 2:15) Memo to ...

A Handy Timeline Guide To The Ongoing Hack-A-Shaq Saga
A reader, who only wants credit to go to "Colin," has sent in this exhaustive guide to the Hack-A-Shaq saga that we've been dutifully (and somewhat regrettably) following for the past few weeks. We found this version—in familiar brick free-throw form (with artistic liberties taken as regards to his ...

Eli Manning Told Suzy Kolber He Was Impressed With How Big Brandon Stokley's Package Grew During The Game
Here's Eli Manning with some important postgame football talk about how wide receiver Brandon Stokley's package size changed during tonight's game. Giants won, 28-16, even though the offense didn't play too well....

Here's Video Of Bill Belichick Cursing At Derrick Mason Before Shouting, "Can You Look At The Scoreboard?"
I've already recommended that you check out A Football Life, the NFL Films documentary that followed Coach Hoodie during the 2009 season. Of the many revelations into Belichick's persona, this clip of him cursing at then-Ravens receiver Derrick Mason received the most attention as soon as the piece ...

College Football In Mississippi Has Gone To The Dogs
Your morning roundup for Sept. 16, the day we found out soda fountains could be deadly. Photo via Mocksession. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

We've Distilled The Most Thrilling Moments From NFL Films' Bill Belichick Documentary For You
The NFL Network will premiere A Football Life this Thursday at 9 p.m. ET. We know you've all been waiting for this ever since 2009, when Belichick became the first person ever wired for an entire season, and so we've gone ahead and put together some of the highlights for you....

MLB Physically Took FDNY And NYPD Caps From The Mets To Keep Them From Wearing Them Last Night
MLB's hopes for again being the go-to sports healing for September 11th were boned the second they realized the anniversary fell on an NFL Sunday. But they would have been hard-pressed to screw it up more than they did. The Yankees were on the road, the Nationals had a short little ceremony, and the...

Why Is Bill Belichick Stockpiling Mediocre Former Jets This Offseason?
The Patriots have a thing for acquiring former Jets to play small roles on their team. (The Jets sometimes do the same thing.) We wonder why....

More Leaked Shaq Emails: "We Dnt Want Them Do What They R Doing To Tiger"
If we all thought we might be in danger of having our emails leaked to the general public, we might write our emails differently. We might, for example, not exchange hypothetical emails with our hypothetical agents asking him to cover up hypothetical stories relating our infidelity. We might, hypoth...

More Leaked Shaq Emails: "Where Can I Cum At When I C U"?
Dominica Westling is famous for being, in her own website's words, "a gorgeous Swedish model turned Hollywood actress." For the past few years, she's also been referred to—by news reports and cash-hungry publicists alike—as Shaquille O'Neal's mistress....

Exit Felix Pie; Luke Scott Will Have To Find A New Dark-Skinned Teammate To Throw Banana Chips At
Baseball's most discomfiting buddy comedy is near cancellation: Yesterday, the Baltimore Orioles designated outfielder Felix Pie for assignment, effectively ending his role as the some-of-my-best-friends-are-black clubhouse foil for redneck performance artist Luke Scott. ...

Leaked Emails Show A <em>Newsweek</em> Reporter Trying To Set A Picky Shaq Up With Some Girls (He Only Wants Rihanna)
As far as we know, Shaquille O'Neal—divorced a few years back—is happy with his comically out-of-proportion lover, Nicole "Hoopz" Alexander....

Bill Belichick Wants To Abolish The Extra Point, Because Why The Hell Not?
Hooded evil genius cum Patriots coach Bill Belichick has a weekly radio appearance on WEEI—unlike David Portnoy—and, in this week's, he just started spitballing. It's the preseason, and the Patriots have been an easy 2-0, so, why bother with talking about the team?...

The One Where An Ex-Pharmacist Offers Us Proof That Tiger Woods And Elin Have Herpes
Welcome back to Deleted Scenes. This space is now reserved for those scuzz-money entrepreneurs who've unsuccessfully tried to sell us prurient information. This is also where we'll run notable emails we've received from some of our readers. All emails are [sic]'d. Enjoy. ...

Here's Video Of The Time Gunfire Interrupted A Mexican Soccer Match
Per @rev215: "Here's bad quality video of players running off the field & fans taking cover as shots are fired in Mexican soccer game"...

Michael Irvin Calls Nevin Shapiro A Snake And A Rapist And Some Other Nice Things
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Snakepist?...

Wanted: Boston-Area Roommate For High-Strung Veteran Wide Receiver Who Tweets A Lot
Chad Ochocinco, most recently in love with his quarterback: young, fetching Thomas Brady, needs a roommate in Boston. He wants a big Patriots fan, perhaps a real-life Tommy from Quinzee:...

Ron Artest Put Away His Cellphone Last Night To Take In A Celine Dion Concert
Lakers forward/funnyman/dong-texter Ron "Metta World Peace" Artest has, with good reason, captured our imagination lately. Sometimes for good, sometimes for bad....

Bug Selig Wants To Chat With A-Rod About His Violent, Cocaine-y Poker Game
Yankee third baseman/centaur Alex Rodriguez has been on the DL since mid-July after knee surgery. His recovery's coming along nicely, but there's new trouble looming: MLB brass wants to ask him about the strange poker game he played in. He might get suspended, ESPN New York reports....