eli Page 162 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
For Your Viewing Pleasure
• 1:00 - College women's volleyball: Nebraska at Missouri [FSN] • 2:00 - Racing: Hantz Group 200 [Speed] • 3:30 - College women's volleyball: Oregon State vs. Oregen [FSN] • 4:00 - Golf: Constellation Energy Senior Players Championship [NBC] • 4:00 - Golf: Valero Texas Open [Golf Channel] • 7:30 - ...
Photos of Luke Walton's Stalker are Tough to Come By Look At
The Manhattan Beach Police Department refuses to give out the mugshot (not their policy) of one Stacy Elizabeth Beshear, 34, of El Segundo Well here it is. Yikes. Thanks to commenter The Pimp Hand is Way Strong for is efforts. Stacy Elizabeth Beshear, 34, of El Segundo was officially charged with st...
Eli Manning's House Is Fully Automated; Kind Of Lame
Just say the words "New Jersey condo" and the thought immediately comes to mind; nothing was available in Manhattan? Hey, Eli Manning is quite happy with his new crib, and that's because he barely has to raise a finger when he's there; it's practically all automated. Here we see him in his den where...
Michael Strahan's Strong Enough to be A Vaseline Man
In the spirit of Rafael Palemeiro for Viagra and Grant Hilll for staph infections comes Michael Strahan for...Vaseline. Now, now, now — before everybody hops on the obvious slippery connotations of such an endorsement, it appears Strahan's gap-toothed grin isn't going to be on the front of the spook...
The Houston Astros Politely Reject Bud Selig's Apology
When Hurricane Ike rained on the party inside Minute Maid Park in Houston last weekend, Bud Selig infamously made the Astros play two games at a "neutral site", Milwaukee's Miller Park. As you can imagine, this was not well received in the Astros' clubhouse. Houston, which had been red hot prior to...
Removing Vowels Make Comments Appear to Be Written in Bulgarian
To keep the comments as fresh and outstanding as they've been up to this point, Commenting Guru Rob Iracane will write a bi-weekly Comment Ombudsman column. It runs every other week. This is that week. Mr. Iracane, co-proprietor of the brilliant Walkoff Walk , is also the guy who approves comments a...
There's A Bill Belichick Sex Tape? Merciful Jesus, Anoint My Eyes With Clorox
Like opening the ancient, creaky attic door in a horror movie, some moves are so obviously wrong-headed that you just want to scream. Tom Casale, a former writer for Patriots Football Weekly, has just made one of those moves. Writing under the name Tommy Rider (red flag right there), he penned a far...
Michael Irvin's Talent Behind The Microphone Speaks For Itself
Here's a fascinating little tidbit picked up by SI's media impresario Richard Deitsch about former Cowboy and venerable Playmaker ("I BLEED ORANGE AND GREEN") Michael Irvin. After getting let go from both ESPN and Fox at various points in his post-football career, Irvin has been hired by the NFL Net...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while actually making plans on weekends from here on out... • 6:00 p.m. — MLB: Boston Red Sox at Los Angeles Angels. Tim Wakefield, it's up to you to prevent your team from getting swept. [whoosh, crack] Really? That's your plan? [ESPN] • 7:30 p.m. — Movie: Ghostbusters. We came, we sa...
Manning "Reception" Is Everything You'd Imagine It Would Be
Sadly, there are no Village People moments like Brady Quinn had at his sister's wedding to A.J. Hawk, but if you do scroll through the lovely photo album, there are plenty of Manning-like moments that will clearly be cherished always. The New York Giants' quarterback appears to be coming out of his ...
Lima Time Returns To The States
We've had an absurd dedication around these parts with bringing you the latest developments in the career of Jose Lima. Is it his infectious ebullience on the mound? Or the fact that his wife is stacked? Hard to say. When last we heard from Lima Time, he was still whooping it up with the Kia Tigers...
Say Hello To The Newest Olympic Sport: Scooter Jousting
I'll admit that this one has a tenuous link at best to sports, but come on; two elderly women are playing bumper cars with their mobility scooters in the middle of a supermarket, and you expect me to simply let it slide? I'm not made of stone! It goes without saying that if Versus made this a weekly...
Jack Kent Cooke's Daughter Has Lots Of Moxie, Little Class
The daughter of former Redskins owner Jack Kent Cooke is a feisty little lassie named Jacqueline Kent Cooke and, like most millionaire heiresses, she seems to have a problem with authority and a staggering sense of entitlement. That would explain why she sued the executors of her beloved dead fat...
Behold The Awesome Offensive Power Of American League Pitchers
Ha! Take that Hank Steinbrenner, you big dolt. Pitchers shouldn't hit? Felix Hernandez hit the first grand slam by an American League pitcher in 37 years, leading the Mariners over the Mets 5-2 on Monday night. Hernandez did get hurt; but not running the bases, as Steinbrenner imagines in his sweaty...
ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......
They're Still Partying In Istanbul (Not Constantinople)
Turkey entered the knockout stage of Euro 2008 as the biggest underdog in the field, but yesterday they moved through to the semifinals in electrifying fashion. It appeared to be over for the Turks (especially to ESPN's Gamecaster) when Croatia's Ivan Klasnić netted a header to break the scoreless ...
Eli Manning And Wife In Desperate Need Of A Queer-Eyeing
The evolution of Eli Manning from underachieving dim-expressioned yokel to high society Super Bowl hero has hit a rough patch, as the fashionistas of the New York Post have lashed out at Eli and his new bride, Abby McGrew, for their questionable fashion sense during the recent snob-infested Contem...
The Des Moines Register Is Finally Understanding The Interweb
On Saturday, thanks to the awful flooding of Iowa, the Iowa Cubs played in front of zero fans in a 5-4 win over Nashville. The flooding has killed five, displaced thousands from their homes and caused millions of dollars in damage. Therefore, Black Heart Gold Pants, an Iowa football blog, posted a ...
Jose Lima Has An Eye For Talent
Jose Lima might never actually retire from baseball, but if he's looking to get into scouting duty sometime down the line, he's clearly well on his way....
Elijah Dukes Has Been Quiet Long Enough
Last week, Elijah Dukes hit a walk-off two-run homer to beat the Cardinals in the second game of a doubleheader. (It really was an awesome game.) Elijah, as Elijah is wont to do, celebrated a bit too vigorously, upsetting an umpire and his manager, Manny Acta. Thus was the fuse lit....