eli Page 163 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Have Your Way With Eli Manning
Wanna know a great way to spend a hungover Friday? How about side-by-side with Eli Manning! "All you need is an image of yourself and a few minutes," says this day-making Toyota website. (A-Rod is all "mm-hmm.") Let's play!...
Tortillas Banned From Texas School Celebrations
Tonight, Texas A&M-Kingsville kicks off the season at Northwest Missouri State, in a continuance of the epic D-II rivalry. (Maybe. I don't know.) One mainstay that will be absent: the traditional Tossing Of The Tortillas after Kingsville touchdowns....
Science Wins Again: Heavy Drinkers Live Longer
Hey teetotalers: not only are you a drag, you're going to die younger. Live slow, die fast, jerks....
Tim Tebow Named Most Eligible Christian Bachelor
We were cruising dating site Christian Partner For Life the other day, looking for a nice girl who does that hot thing where they wear a cross in their cleavage, and we stumbled across a singular honor for one Timothy Tebow....
John Buccigross' "Whore" Problem
On yesterday's SportsCenter, anchor John Buccigross—most likely reading from Elin Nordegren's statement—said, "It was a real marriage for whore." What a jagoff....
Rick Reilly Video Pulled From ESPN.com Because He Insulted Bud Selig
On Saturday, ESPN.com posted another installment of Rick Reilly®'s zany "Riled Up" video series, but it was quickly yanked. The "State of Statues" segment was up for a short period of time before ESPN.com's content ninjas intervened....
Last Night's Winner: Elin Nordegren, "Private Person"
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like the former Mrs. Tiger Woods, who waited two whole days after landing a nine figure divorce settlement before signing off on a big People Magazine puff piece....
Worship Your New Bud Selig Graven Image
Watch live as Milwaukee unveils its larger than life bronze statue of Bud Selig. Then weep. Weep for all of us....
Tiger Woods And Elin Have Finally Divorced
The Tiger Woods typing robot finally reappeared on his personal site and formally issued a statement about the death of the marriage that gave the world two bouncing baby Swedecaublasians. Dogs Chasing Cars has the details....
Israeli Soccer Player Celebrates Goal By Putting On Yarmulke, Receives Yellow Card (CONTEXT UPDATE)
During a game against Austrian club FC Red Bull Salzburg, Hapoel Tel Aviv's Itay Shechter scored after a very nice run, proceeded to pull a yarmulke out of his sock, (apparently) said a prayer—and was immediately given a yellow card....
Last Night's Loser: Drama-Loving U.S. Open Fan, Third Row
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Eli Manning Gets Bloodied
The Giants QB pinballed off of his own running back and LB Calvin Pace, before smashing his head on Jim Leonhard's facemask. The New Meadowlands turf is officially seeded with the blood of a virgin, as per the prophecy....
The Latest Attempt To Satanize Your Children: School Mascots
A Georgia pastor was arrested for protesting (without a permit) his son's high school's nickname, the Demons. Never mind that it's actually named for a WWII squadron. No one tell the pastor about Wake Forest; his head would explode. [WMAZ]...
Yes, Michael Irvin's Had Sex In His Hall Of Fame Jacket
AND NOTHING ELSE. Now that you've got that mental image, here's the money quote....
Startling Penalty Miss Alert: Spanish Second Division Edition
Mind doctors will tell you that the key to a decent penalty is a technique called "positive visualisation". Mehmet Aurelio is not at the forefront of this practice....
Larry Fitzgerald: Inspiration to Amputees Everywhere
The healing process works like this: 1. Lose a leg. 2. Visually dedicate the replacement prosthetic to a great wide receiver. 3. Somehow meet that great wide receiver; get him to autograph and photograph your prosthetic (possibly at the Paradise Valley, Az. mall). 4. Said wide receiver will then pos...
In Which We Try To Class Up That Burger King Parking Lot Fight Video
Yesterday's fight video was so operatic in scale and intensity of emotion that we figured we'd give it the soundtrack it deserves....
Read This: Don DeLillo's "At Yankee Stadium"
Granta has put up Don DeLillo's 1990 story "At Yankee Stadium," which depicts a Moonie wedding of 13,000 men and women (an actual event that remains perhaps the strangest phenomenon ever to materialize in the stadium, not counting Don Zimmer)....
Burger King Parking Lot In Oakland Is The Venue For One Of The Most Disturbing Things You'll Ever See (UPDATE)
To sum up: Pantsless, mouthy pregnant ladies fighting. One mouthy pregnant lady getting jumped by two people, then getting knocked out by dude smoking a joint. Old lady then attacks mouthy pregnant lady. Police are...somewhat present? Fin. (NSFW?) [BarStoolSportsJr.]...
ESPN Finally Discovers Purple Drank
Outside The Lines, always on the forefront of emerging trends (that's not even sarcasm), just did a story on the menace that is Purple Drank. Next up: exposés on Jenkem, poppers, and GRIDS. [OTL]...