epl Page 22 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
West Brom Players Apologize For Hijacking Taxi For A Munchie Run To McDonald's
West Brom players Gareth Barry, Jonny Evans, Jake Livermore, and Boaz Myhill were detained by local police in Barcelona yesterday after allegedly commandeering a taxi that had taken them from their hotel to a nearby McDonald’s drive-thru, driving the cab back to their hotel, and ditching the vehicle...
Alexandre Lacazette Is Injured And Arsenal Might Be Screwed
Arsenal came into this past weekend’s must-win North London Derby and proceeded to get comprehensively smashed up by their fiercest rivals in a manner that would’ve cratered the Gunners’ confidence if not for the fact that it’s been evident for so long now that Tottenham are simply a much better tea...
![CNBC Airs Stoppage-Time Dong [NSFW]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/h08gkcqdvf1umjwujwae.jpg)
CNBC Airs Stoppage-Time Dong [NSFW]
CNBC is known for its coverage of money markets, including the value of the Yuan, Euro, and Yen. But today, it was covering the Dong. A Huddersfield keeper’s dong, to be specific....
Video Replay Thwarted When Flag-Waving Fan Blocks Camera
Video replay in soccer, as in all sports, sucks. This is true mostly for philosophical reasons, but also for logistical ones, too. Like when this Boavista fan inadvertently boned their own team by waving a huge flag that blocked the camera angle that probably would’ve invalidated the opponent’s goal...
Gerard Deulofeu Is Back Where He Belongs
It only took a couple months for everyone to realize what had seemed obvious from the outset: that Gerard Deulofeu had made a big mistake coming back to Barcelona. Despite the Neymar departure and Barça’s subsequent struggles to lock down a replacement opening up an unexpectedly perfect avenue for D...
Mohamed Salah Is No Lionel Messi, But He Might Just Be The Next Best Thing
It would make sense if this fact had eluded you, but in between contentious referee decisions there was actually a hell of a game of soccer played at Anfield yesterday between Liverpool and Tottenham. Because the job of managing is so inherently conspiratorial, and fandom so often joyless and blinke...
Adam Lallana Loses His Mind, Tries To Choke Out Teen Opponent In Rehab Appearance
Adam Lallana has had a terrible year. The Liverpool midfielder missed the first four months of the season with an injury, and has since experienced setback after setback. He got to take the field with the Liverpool U-23 squad today, an appearance which came to a fitting and abrupt end, when he was s...
Upon Further Review, The NFL Dodged A Bullet
Thank god for Brandon Graham. It was his effectively game-sealing strip-sack of Tom Brady—an actual, incontrovertible football play, a display of the kind of strength and athleticism and determination that bring us to the sport in the first place, a moment for which there was no reason to doubt your...
Riyad Mahrez Is Trapped In Leicester
Leicester City star Riyad Mahrez missed training today. It was the fourth consecutive session he’s not attended, and not because of an injury or any other valid excuse that would justify his skipping of practice. No, Mahrez has missed training because he’s mad at the club, and it’s hard not to feel ...
Report: West Ham Director Doesn't Want African Players Because They "Cause Mayhem"
After being confronted with leaked emails in which he advocated against signing a Senegalese player, West Ham’s director of player recruitment Tony Henry admitted to the Daily Mail that the club does not want to sign any more African players....
Arsenal Are Having A Shockingly Great Transfer Deadline Day
Well, well, would you look at that. Ol’ Arsène had an ace up his sleeve after all, and Arsenal have locked in two players on this transfer deadline day who will give Gooners everywhere something to cheer for once and, even more importantly, some much needed hope....
Three-Team Standoff Hopefully Will Not End With Arsenal's Dick Getting Shot Off
Famously star-crossed Premier League club Arsenal have already had a bad winter transfer window. Just last week the Gunners let Manchester United Debo them out of their best player, Alexis Sánchez, and the only thing that could even kind of almost halfway redeem them from that humiliating chump move...
Man City Spend More Of Their Unlimited Money On Yet Another Wildly Expensive Defender
Manchester City are one of the biggest and most ambitious clubs in world soccer. In order to realize their silver-lined aspirations, they need lots and lots of money to invest in the team. Luckily for them, they have more money than god thanks to the backing of the Abu Dhabi royal family which owns ...
Arsenal Punked Out Of Yet Another Star Player
If you had to pick a single image to represent Arsenal’s enduring subjugation in English soccer’s hierarchy, you could do a lot worse than one showing Robin van Persie lifting the Premier League trophy. van Persie famously pined for that title after failing to win it with Arsenal after nearly a deca...
Burnley Manager Denies Eating Worms But Admits To Sucking On Them
Burnley manager Sean Dyche seems like the kind of guy who would munch on a big bowl of tree bark, rocks, and beetles for breakfast every morning and make a big show of it if for no other reason than to prove how much of a hardass he is. Thus it wasn’t too much of a stretch to believe a former teamma...
The Liverpool-Man City Match Was A Classic From The Premier League's New Golden Age
The English Premier League has been the most famous and purely entertaining soccer league for ages now. No other domestic league can match England’s in top-to-bottom competitiveness, in the sheer number of historically and consistently great clubs, in blustery, throat-hoarsening fan engagement, in w...
Manchester United Need To Stay The Fuck Away From Our Wonderteen
The good thing about having one of the soccer world’s most coveted young attacking prospects is that the eyes of the game’s biggest clubs will be focused on the kid, each team projecting out his possibly incredible future and positioning themselves to snatch it for themselves if they so decide to ma...
Romelu Lukaku Did Not Leave Everton Because Of "Voodoo"
Farhad Moshiri, the majority shareholder of Everton, took some time at a shareholders’ meeting yesterday to explain, according to him, why his club could not convince former Toffee and current Manchester United striker Romelu Lukaku not to leave last summer. Moshiri’s bizarre explanation—that Lukaku...
Liverpool Mayor Writes Nutty Letter To The FA Calling For Investigation Of Ross Barkley Transfer
Joe Anderson is the mayor of Liverpool. He is also a diehard and delusional Everton fan. It is presumably this mix of a mayor’s political sway and a fan’s righteous indignation that inspired him to call the cops and ask them to investigate a transfer he didn’t like....
José Mourinho And Antonio Conte Are In An Outrageously Unprofessional And Deliciously Petty Beef
José Mourinho and Antonio Conte do not like each other. You might have picked up on this fact over the past week or so, seeing as the two managers have been openly slamming each other in the media like a couple rappers going verse-for-verse in a freestyle battle. The resulting insults have been as p...