EPL Page 22 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Manchester United Are (Sort Of) For Real, Apparently
By losing to a surprisingly rampant Arsenal in their previous league game before the international break, Manchester United more or less confirmed our sneaking suspicions about this team’s place in the EPL hierarchy. Their spot in the table may make them technically contenders but there still remain...
Klopp In
From the moment former Liverpool manager Brendan Rodgers was fired, Jurgen Klopp’s now-completed move to the club was an open secret. And yet it still took seeing him at that trademark new signing table, a pen-cradling hand hovering over some papers, to really believe that a true superstar manager l...
Alexis Sánchez And Mesut Özil Are Better Than Everyone
It’s telling that, as impressive as the sheer all-encompassing nature of Arsenal’s domination of Manchester United this weekend, what was even more stunning was the shock of it all....
Rodgers Out
Liverpool FC announced this afternoon that manager Brendan Rodgers, who has seemingly been on the hot seat for the better part of two years, has been fired. Here’s how they, rather Britishly, phrased it....
José Mourinho's Self-Regard Grows In Inverse Proportion To Chelsea's Record
Hey remember when David Moyes coached United for a year, everyone agreed it was an unmitigated disaster, and it became the standard by which to measure all EPL meltdowns? José Mourinho, the little tyrant man who will probably get fired from the USMNT someday, and Chelsea have started this season thr...
Sergio Agüero Goes Supernova, Scores 5 Goals in 20 Minutes
Manchester City were losing today’s match to Newcastle 1-0 for most of the first half until Sergio Agüero went all Robert Lewandowski and rung up five quick goals to kill the game dead in a matter of minutes. Incredibly, he did the Whole Shit with a mere nine touches. It was sudden and violent and N...
Chelsea Players Starting To Rebel Against José Mourinho
It was inevitable that Chelsea’s astoundingly poor performances and results so far this season would lead to some level of internal strife inside the club. We now have confirmation of this, with sources in the team describing a rift between the players and José Mourinho to two different papers....
Tottenham’s Beatdown Of Manchester City Was A Long Time In The Making
The story of the Premier League season thus far has been the sudden and unexpected ascent of a number of Britain’s historically smaller teams, the likes of Leicester and West Ham and Crystal Palace and Swansea. These are teams that fans of the league’s big boys would’ve penciled in as easy Ws just a...
This Is A Good Fan
We’d be up to the same were we Sunderland supporters....
Diego Costa And José Mourinho Are The Shitheads We Need
The more you think about it the more inevitable it seems that José Mourinho—the ne plus ultra of managerial shit-talking, barb-throwing, and incessant needling of rivals—and Diego Costa—his dispositional equivalent on the field, only with elbows substituted for verbal barbs as his projectile of choi...
Manchester City Drop First Points Of The Season
Thanks to a few moments of lax defending, a David Silva pre-game injury, and some timely Adrián saves, West Ham beat Manchester City 2-1 today to sour the league debuts of Nicolás Otamendi and Kevin De Bruyne. ...
Bournemouth's Matt Ritchie Hammers Home One Of The Season's Most Astounding Goals
Not content to let Callum Wilson have all the glory, AFC Bournemouth’s Matt Ritchie delivered this mind-altering strike to put his side up 2-0 against a hapless Sunderland side today. We feel pretty confident that this will stand up as one of the Premiership season’s best goals....
Liverpool Shooting Themselves In The Foot By Not Taking Europa League Seriously
Last weekend, Liverpool lost in sorry fashion to Manchester United, their hated foe and rival for one of the Premier League’s all-important top four spots. That result, plus the draw with Arsenal a couple weeks prior, likely shut the door on what in the best of cases would’ve been an unlikely run to...
Manchester City Are Soaring In England; Now They Must Fly As High In Europe
Manchester City appear to be on the precipice of something great. Years of unstinting investment by their rich owners has already paid off domestically in the form of two Premier League titles in four seasons, plus what in all likelihood will be a third come the end of the current campaign. But any ...
Victor Moses's Breakaway Was An Emotional Roller Coaster
You know that feeling when you step into traffic without looking, only for your friend to pull you back right as a car speeds right past where you almost stood, wind blowing into your gratefully stunned face? That’s probably how Victor Moses felt after Dimitri Payet sent home a rebound at the end of...
We Are Enjoying The Hell Out Of This Chelsea Collapse
Four points from five matches! Making Steven Naismith look like Neymar! Already as many Ls this season as in all of last year! The worst defense in the whole league! One result away from the goddamn relegation zone! We can’t get enough!...
Benteke Scores Overhead Volley Wondergoal; Liverpool Lose Anyway
Wow! Christian Benteke almost made today’s Manchester United-Liverpool match competitive! He certainly gave Old Trafford one of its best highlights in years, but it wasn’t enough to overcome the Red Devils, who took a 3-1 victory....
Everton Whomp Chelsea Behind Steven Naismith Hat Trick
Nine minutes into Everton’s match against Chelsea, Muhamed Besic had to leave because of a hamstring injury. Normally, losing a starter less than ten minutes into the game is a bad thing. But not on this day. On this day Steven Naismith replaced Besic, and promptly did this: ...
Manchester United Don't Know Who They Are
It’s tough to make sense of the freighter plane full of cash Manchester United dispatched to Monaco on deadline day, seemingly out of the blue (but not spurred by panic! they are certainly not panicking!), in exchange for relatively little-known French forward prospect Anthony Martial. It would be e...
Pissed-Off Saido Berahino Swears To Never Play Another Game For West Brom
This is why you should’ve just taken the money, man....