epl Page 69 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Hirshey: Tottenham Just Can't Score
David Hirshey writes regularly about the Premiership for Deadspin....
Hirshey: Sweetness And Light In The Prem
David Hirshey writes weekly about the Premiership for Deadspin....
Today In The Premiership...
• Everton 3-0 Liverpool. Now that is how you embarrass a rival team. The Toffees served up an ass-beating to their neighbors, with Tim Cahill putting Everton on the board in the 23rd minute, and Andrew Johnson finishing Liverpool off with goals in the 35th and the 90th. Everton finds themselves at t...
Your Non-Headbutting European Soccer Update
We don't know a lot about soccer, but even we know that this doesn't appear to be cricket. In a move not seen since Brandon Cruz pitched for a Little League team named the Yankees in the film Bad News Bears, Chelsea's William Gallas has threatend to score an own goal if club manager Jose Mourinho fa...
Today In Soccer...
The Premiership is taking the day off, due to some Euro 2008 qualifying games, and some other international friendlies going down. But the big story right now is Carlos Tevez moving from Brazilian club Corinthians to Premiership team West Ham. A guy like Tevez, you'd think would prefer a bigger club...
Collect Your Miniature Violent Soccer Fans
See, here's an idea we can get behind. A British toy company is producing Little Hooliganz, actions figures of the crazed fans of each of the English Premiership teams. You've got Terrible Henry from Arsenal, Dangerous Dirk from Chelsea and Ard Man Aaron from Newcastle. For those who prefer their so...
Hirshey: Arsenal's Impotence
David Hirshey writes about the English Premier League for Deadspin....
Today In The Premiership...
Fulham 1-0 Sheffield United. It's Jimmy Bullard's world. You just live here. After scoring the game winner for Fulham against Bolton earlier in the week, Jimmy Bullard singlehandedly carried Fulham to victory over Sheffield United. Bullard also leads the league in pretty hair curls and weirdfuck p...
Hirshey: Arsenal Off To Sister-Kissing Start
Is it too early to award Chelsea the Prem title? I mean, why not get it over with and wrap (or even better, garotte) a Portuguese scarf around the Special One's neck, bronze John Terry's captain's armband, apologize for all the mean things we said during the World Cup about Frank "Totally Frank" L...
Today In The Premiership...
• Manchester United 5-1 Fulham. A little bit of order was restored after a couple of unlikely draws during yesterday's play. Up first, Man United notched five goals against a Fulham defense that's described in the BBC article as "shambolic," a word that isn't used nearly enough. Wayne Rooney and C...
It's England Premier League Time!
The sad, doe-eyed, holy-crap-mum's-gonna-kill-me-if-I-come-home-without-tickets look of this young boy can only mean one thing: The English Premier League is back! We're going to occasionally have our our man David Hirshey filing reports for us, but for now, it's just time to get, like, excited an...
Today In The Premiership...
• Cristiano Ronaldo, hated by everyone in England a month ago, was actually welcomed quite warmly by the Manchester United fans at Old Trafford today. He notched a goal and an assist in United's 3-0 victory over Sevilla. After he and beloved Wayne Rooney got into it during the Portugal/England quart...
Embracing The Colors
The Major League Soccer All-Star Game featured one team of All-Stars from MLS against Chelsea, the reigning champions of the English Premier League, and, thanks to their insane payroll, kinda like a World All-Star team. The MLS team won, 1-0. Here are two sides of the story. First, Dwayne De Rosar...
Today In The Premiership...
• Ruud Van Nistelrooy liked Germany so much that he wants to go back. Ruud wants his next season to be with Bayern Munich of the German Budesliga. Real Madrid had previously made a bid to acquire Van Niistelrooy, but it was rejected by Manchester United. I'm not ruling out the possibility that the...
Today In Soccer...
Germany 7-0 Luxembourg. Lots of international friendlies going on today in preparation for the World Cup, and you know, I don't think it would kill Germany to be nice to Luxembourg, just once. They unleashed a serious beating on the undermanned 'Bourgers today, with two goals each from Oliver Neuv...
Jake Plummer, Terror On The Road
It's easy to forget now, but for a while there last year, Broncos quarterback Jake Plummer was having a pretty cool year. The Broncos had the best record in football, some were touting him as an MVP candidate and some even thought he could lead the team to the Super Bowl. And then the blowout and ...
Today In Soccer...
Blackburn whacks their Dickov. Blackburn Rovers have released striker Paul Dickov after they couldn't come to terms on a new contract with him. I think the only reasonable thing that can happen here is for Dickov to sign with Peterhead....
Today In Soccer...
• Liverpool wins the FA Cup. Well, that one had to suck, if you're a West Ham fan. The Hammers were up by two goals in the final game for the championship of all of England... only to see Steven Gerrard score from way out in the 90th minute to the tie the game. Then, of course, Liverpool went on t...
Today In The Premiership...
• Wigan 1-1 Birmingham. Birmingham plays a quality second half, earning a point against Wigan and keeping themselves out of the league's bottom three. The more I follow soccer, the more I like this relegation idea. Some American sports should really look into it....
Today In The Premiership...
• Leicester 1-1 Reading. Reading has clinched promotion into the Premier League next season, for the first time in club history. See, Reading is cool....