ew Page 2091 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Iran Have The Right Type Of Squad To Shock The World
Iran almost had it....

Andrew Heaney Got Doused In A Glorious Ice Bucket Dump
There are few better birthday gifts a starting pitcher could ask for than the 23rd-in-OPS Kansas City Royals lineup, which is exactly what the Angels’ Andrew Heaney got for his 27th birthday last night. He threw the first shutout of his career, a one-hit gem in a 1-0 win, and was then treated to one...

Will Luis Suárez Do Something Crazy Stupid Or Crazy Awesome At This World Cup?
Uruguay have what it takes to mount another charge deep into the latter stages of the World Cup like the one they made to the semifinals in 2010. They still have one of the very best defensive fronts in the game. They still have a steely midfield capable of swatting away incoming attacks, and have b...

This Obituary Is Ruthless
The Redwood Falls (Minn.) Gazette published the above paid obituary on Monday, both online and in print. Sometime Tuesday, the paper deleted the obit from its website. The Schunk and Dehmlow families seem to have some unsettled business, though I suppose this is one step toward a resolution....

Saudi Arabia Have The Honor Of Being The Shittiest Team In The World Cup
In truth, I know next to nothing about the Saudi Arabia national team. Which actually doesn’t matter much, because apparently they really suck....

The Time Barack Obama Tracked Down Dave McKenna At A Coffee Shop
Our beloved colleague Dave McKenna tells good stories. He’s done a lot of cool shit, met many weird people in weird ways, and had his run-ins with the law. And after selfishly squirreling all his stories away in Slack and our brains for years, we’ve realized we have a societal obligation to share....

Giancarlo Stanton Still Isn't A Fan Of The Guy Who Broke His Face
It’s a marvel that Giancarlo Stanton had his face destroyed by a baseball pitch in 2014 and still has a career in the sport. He’s not even a shadow of himself, but still a powerful, sometimes overly aggressive hitter who now wears a c-flap on his helmet for added protection. In the second game of Mo...

Egypt Are A One-Man Team, Which Is Fine If That One Man Is Mohamed Salah
Mohamed Salah’s injury could not have come at a worse time. Liverpool’s newly anointed superstar was wrapping up a dream club season that featured 44 goals in 52 appearances and culminated in Kiev with a shot at ending Real Madrid’s Champions League dominance. Instead of capping a perfect season by ...

Even For Aaron Judge, Eight Strikeouts Is A Lot!
The Yankees knew what they were signing up for when they brought together Aaron Judge and Giancarlo Stanton in the heart of their order. There would be stretches of pure pyrotechnic dong-mashing spectacle and there would also be days marked by multiple sullen trips back to the dugout, during which g...

Russia Might Be A Threat To International Democracy, But They Are Nothing To Fear At The World Cup
We’ve finally made it! After four long years, the greatest sporting event on the planet has returned!...

Fox News Shows Eagles Players Praying, Falsely Implies They Were Protesting During Anthem
Picking on Fox News is the easiest thing in the universe. So let’s do it, shall we?...

Kendrick Perkins Somehow Becomes The Central Part Of An NBA Finals Controversy
At the end of the third quarter of Game 2, Steph Curry missed a three and sauntered back towards his bench in front of the Cavaliers. Most of the Cavs let him walk freely, but not Kendrick Perkins, who refused to close his widespread legs and knocked knees with Curry....

The Yankees Are Pissed At ESPN
It’s barely June, and the New York Yankees have had seven games postponed due to rain or snow, plus one game suspended in the sixth inning. That means more rest early in the season (when they’re not sleeping on an airport floor), but a whole bunch of games to make up later in the year, be it double ...

What Are You Supposed To Do About Steph Curry?
Steph Curry makes you want to ragequit. Throw up your hands; throw the controller across the room; swear, loudly, to an empty apartment. It’s a videogame term, but he’s a videogame talent: hitting low-percentage (for anyone else) shots at a rate that should be beyond human capabilities, and when the...

Watching The NBA Finals At Oracle Arena With The Overlords And Oligarchs In Club Prick
I watched Game 1 of the NBA Finals from extremely expensive seats in Oracle Arena, but I didn’t see J.R. Smith’s towering goof....

Giancarlo Stanton Blesses Bachelorette Party With Healthy Dong
Giancarlo Stanton viciously smote a poor baseball into the right field stands in Camden Yards Saturday, where it was gathered by the overjoyed members of a bachelorette party wearing “Team Bride” hats:...

J.R. Smith Is No Longer So Certain He Knew The Score
J.R. Smith was pretty clear after Game 1 that he knew the score and situation at the end of regulation, and that what appeared to be an all-time blunder was, in fact, a combination of team-wide confusion and a running clock. The play sure didn’t look that way, but that was his story and, honestly, i...

Clay Matthews Takes Comebacker To The Face In Charity Softball Game
Clay Matthews was pitching in a charity softball game in Wisconsin Saturday when a sharply hit comebacker nailed him directly in his face, in front of the mound:...

NBA L2M Report: The Refs Made A Big Dumb Mess Of The End Of Game 1
It would be hard to overstate just how badly the Cavs were screwed by the universe at the end of Game 1 Thursday night. A rare reversed judgment call, an unexpected missed free throw, an uncalled lane violation, an apparent uncalled loose-ball foul, and an all-time blunder by one of their own, all i...

Tristan Thompson Avoids Suspension For Game 1 Tussle
The NBA announced Friday that Tristan Thompson has been fined $25,000 for cramming a basketball in the face of Draymond Green during the dismal final moments of Game 1. Thompson was issued a Flagrant 2 and ejected by referee Tony Brothers—who, along with his fellow Game 1 referees, will never again ...