ew Page 2913 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Announcer Doth Protest Too Much, Methinks
via Awful Announcing...

Best.Draft.Ever.
I know that nobody likes hearing about other people's fantasy football lives— but this could be an exception. The intrepid Andy Behrens of Yahoo! Fantasy! gathered up a group of 12 sports bloggers to form the Tank Johnson Desert Classic. The league is a highly volatile experiment that Behrens will c...

This Headline Will Not Include Barry Bonds
• Way to go, Iraq! Oh, sorry. • Pujols, Pop-A-Shot. • Gilbert is funny when he takes other people's jokes. • Quiet, Deion. • The live report from the Arena Bowl. • Pete Rose is charming. • Ow ow ow. • Pac Man Jones, rasslin'. • We're map happy! • Goodnight, ESPN. • Matt Leinart is optimistic about t...

NFL Season Preview: St. Louis Rams
Believe it or not, folks, the NFL season is much closer than you can possibly imagine. So close, in fact, that, if we're going to fit in every NFL team preview by the start of the season, we have to go this early. So there you have it....

Is It The End Of Days For The Yankees?
A new story in Conde Nast Portfolio magazine confirms what we've all pretty much known for a few years anyway: George Steinbrenner is decrepit and deluded about what's going on in the world....

Ned Yost Needs To Get Back In The Game
Remember when the season was young, when the Brewers had a spring in their step and a 12-person beer bong in their parking lot? Milwaukee fans, so thirsty for a championship, drank their fill; enjoying the tasty buzz of an 8 1/2-game lead in the NL Central on June 23. But with every 12-station drink...

Hope You Didn't Forget About Pedro
Whatever your thoughts about the Mets, or little people, or any of it, we have to say, it just seems right — and exciting even — to see Pedro Martinez making his way back. It doesn't quite feel like baseball is in order without him....

NFL Season Preview: Seattle Seahawks
Believe it or not, folks, the NFL season is much closer than you can possibly imagine. So close, in fact, that, if we're going to fit in every NFL team preview by the start of the season, we have to go this early. So there you have it....

The Yankees Are Less Valuable Than Their TV Station
Got $3 billion lying around? Jeez, who doesn't? Well, if that $3,000,000,000 is just burning a hole in your pocket, rest easy: You could buy the YES Network....

Taking The New Orleans Out Of New Orleans
Like many people, we found ourselves rooting for the Saints last year, even though we became a little exhausted with the repeated meme that, somehow, a football team's success was going to make it more likely that people would, you know, have homes. But you'd think, in the wake of last year, the Sai...

Jake Gyllenhaal Wants To Kiss You
Look at that face. That's the face of a life well lived; that's the face of a guy who needs his life story told. That's the face of a guy who has bedded plenty like you, Kolber, you ain't nothin'....

NFL Season Preview: Chicago Bears
Believe it or not, folks, the NFL season is much closer than you can possibly imagine. So close, in fact, that, if we're going to fit in every NFL team preview by the start of the season, we have to go this early. So there you have it....

NFL Season Preview: Kansas City Chiefs
Believe it or not, folks, the NFL season is much closer than you can possibly imagine. So close, in fact, that, if we're going to fit in every NFL team preview by the start of the season, we have to go this early. So there you have it....

Childhood's End
What were you doing when you were five? (My answer revolves around cartoons and mud). Sacramento-area native Jan Silva is attending a tennis academy in France, all expenses paid. In fact, the academy's owner, Patrick Mouratoglou, will pay an estimated $140,000 this year to train him. Did I mention t...

NFL Season Preview: Indianapolis Colts
Believe it or not, folks, the NFL season is much closer than you can possibly imagine. So close, in fact, that, if we're going to fit in every NFL team preview by the start of the season, we have to go this early. So there you have it....

Knicks' Curry Latest NBA Player To Be Robbed
When I eventually make the NBA — What? I have great court vision! — and I'm making millions of dollars off my 1.6 assists-per-game and great locker-room presence, please remind me NOT to buy a house in or around the Chicago, Illinois area. This is getting ridiculous....


It's Never Good When The MLS Has The Best Week
explains Beckham to us much better than we did to the world. • Careful of what cars you steal. • One more time: Gay Yankees. • We live blogged a guy talking into a microphone. • Stop the ESPN Motion. • Matt Leinart says he's a great dad, and even remembers his kid's name. • Our NFL Season Previews b...

Who's The Next Professional Athlete To Be Proven Pure Evil?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....