ew Page 2984 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
![Ronaldo's Free Kick Goal Was So Good GOLTV's Ray Hudson Could Only Describe It Using Sexual Terminology [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
Ronaldo's Free Kick Goal Was So Good GOLTV's Ray Hudson Could Only Describe It Using Sexual Terminology [UPDATE]
We've written here before about how spectacular La Liga goals can bring GOLTV analyst Ray Hudson to orgasm, but today's free kick goal by Cristiano Ronaldo against Atlético de Madrid earned Hudson's description of an orgasm....
It Looks Like MetLife Stadium Is On Fire, But It's Not
Don't panic! This photo is just a trick of perspective. There is a massive brush fire burning in Jersey, near the Meadowlands—it was even visible from Brooklyn for a time. But the homes of the Giants, Jets, and the depressing standardbreds of Meadowlands Racetrack are safe....
Just Three More Months Until <em>The Dark Knight Rises</em>, Folks
It always seems like the summer movie season begins earlier every year, but it doesn't, not really. The unofficial beginning in 2012 is May 4, when The Avengers—a movie that's so big, apparently, that it turned massive tentpole films like Iron Man 2 and Thor into, essentially, prequels—opens wide, f...
5 Important Contracts Set To Expire At ESPN (Or, Why Michelle Beadle Is Probably Done In Bristol)
On Tuesday, we told you that ESPN execs are ready to walk away from Rick Reilly's contract when it expires next year. But what about this year's expiring contracts? Whose time in Bristol might soon be over? We counted at least four ESPN talents—plus Colin Cowherd—whose deals are up this year. Here's...
3 Things To Watch For On The First Night Of The Stanley Cup Playoffs, Which Is Tonight, I Think
We're pretty sure the National Hockey League playoffs begin tonight. They excite lots of folks, so they might excite you too....
A Prayer For Jacques Plante's Busted Schnoz
Let's let Jacques Plante's Hockey Hall of Fame biography tell this one:...
Tony Romo Spawned
The Cowboys quarterback and wifey Candice Crawford Romo had a kid Monday, with Romo perhaps hoping to capture the family-man success of NFC East foe Eli Manning. Little Hawkins Crawford Romo has his mother's eyes and his father's penchant for choking on small objects like playoff wins. [Dallas Morni...
Rex Ryan Is The Only Person In The World Who Doesn't Want The Jets To Do <i>Hard Knocks</i> Again
Owner Woody Johnson was curiously coy about the Jets doing another edition of HBO's Hard Knocks, when asked about it last week. That's because, according to Fox Sports, he's totally all about it. What's not to like? Tebow! Sanchez! Holmes! Ryan! This could be the greatest reality/docudrama/propagand...
Mark Reynolds Is The Worst Third Baseman In Baseball
Yes, even worse than Miguel Cabrera. Last night's Orioles-Yankees game only went to extra innings because Reynolds booted a grounder in the sixth inning that led to a pair of Yankee runs. In the top of the 12th, with the go-ahead runner on third and one out, Reynolds gave perfunctory chase to a f...
Soccer Player Takes Photo With Adorable Child—And <i>Playboy</i> Magazine He Just Bought
Panamanian defender Felipe Baloy plays for Mexican side Santos Laguna, and when approached by a charming little tyke decked out in full Warriors uniform, he happily knelt and posed for a photo. So did Ms. Jackeline Arroyo, cover model for the March issue of Playboy's Mexican edition....
Why Yes, This Human-Chicken-Squid Hybrid Is A Cubs Fan
Ronnie Tomaszewski was skipping yet another of his classes at North Park University when he remembered it was Thursday already and he was a bit short on cash for what was sure to be a big weekend of partying. A few of his fraternity brothers had testified to the easy money of that old college stand...
Better Know An Umpire: Bill Welke
Welcome to Better Know An Umpire, an effort to educate ourselves on the human elements who have ultimate decision-making power over some 2,500 Major League Baseball games a year. ...
Rafael Nadal, Novak Djokovic Will Play Madrid's 85,000-Seat Soccer Stadium
Tennis sure does love its stunts. In 2005, Andre Agassi and Roger Federer played a few games 700 feet off the ground, atop Dubai's Burj Al Arab hotel. Last year, Federer and Rafael Nadal played on a floating court in the middle of Doha Bay. Now, Nadal and 60 Minutes darling Novak Djokovic are slated...
Bobby Petrino Issues Apology: "I Have No One To Blame But Myself"
After Arkansas athletic director Jeff Long's emotional press conference to announce the firing of Bobby Petrino, the ex-Razorbacks football coach released this statement, apologizing for the conduct that led to his dismissal. ...
The Blue Jays' Attempt To Stop Opening Day Fights Through Alcohol Restrictions Didn't Work
We told you yesterday about the Blue Jays' attempts to limit beer consumption during their home opener in an attempt to curtail rowdy behavior, but it didn't seem to work. Not only was there a fight in the normally-sedate 100 section, but things got a bit out of hand elsewhere as well. Here's a fi...
Arkansas AD Jeff Long Nearly Brought To Tears While Reading Moving Statement About Petrino's Firing
Here's the tail end of Arkansas Razorbacks athletic director Jeff Long's opening statement to his presser on the firing of head football coach Bobby Petrino. It was one of several times in his statement he was nearly brought to tears and had to stop to collect himself, which is understandable give...
Ukranian Wins Glorious North Korean Marathon In Photo Finish
Every year, the government of North Korea holds a marathon to honor the birthday of the departed Great Leader himself, Kim Il Sung. This being North Korea, you'd think they rig the race so that some fortunate son comes in first, but it actually seems to be run legitimately. Never mind that none of t...
![Arkansas Has Fired Bobby Petrino [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17j70ocp0dfr2jpg.jpg)
Arkansas Has Fired Bobby Petrino [UPDATE]
ESPN's Joe Schad is reporting Arkansas has fired head football coach Bobby Petrino, and a press conference is due to take place any moment now at Bud Walton Arena in Fayetteville at which we presume this news will be officially released by Razorbacks AD Jeff Long. We don't know if Petrino was notif...
NHL Ministry Of Truth: John Tortorella Was Fined For Cursing, Not For Calling Out "Whining" Penguins
Gary Bettman: "I think he did it four times ... He's a professional. He knows better than that. As emotional as you get, when you're a head coach in this league, when you're in a public media session, you shouldn't be cursing."...
Mayor Cory Booker And The New Jersey Devils Are Having The Most New Jersey Feud Ever
Chances are you have not been following the feud between the New Jersey Devils and Newark mayor Cory Booker, unless you are a Devils fan and a New Jersey political junkie, which is to say, unless you are Joe Piscopo. That's a shame. It's one of the more publicly bitter city vs. owner feuds we've see...