ew Page 2913 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Dead Letters: Jeff Garlin Defends Himself Against "Struggling" Charges
Subject: Hello from Jeff Garlin...

Arena Football Player Has Best Excuse Ever For Why His Apartment Caught On Fire
"Kevin Marcus Ellison of the Spokane Shock claims he was told by God to torch his apartment with a marijuana blunt." Happens to the best of us....

Tony Parker's Cornea Becomes The Tragic Collateral Damage Of The Chris Brown-Drake Throwdown
Noted musicians Drake and Chris Brown threw down at WIP, a club in New York, earlier this week. We, as everyone else does, have Drake's back. Everyone had questions: To what extent did Brown taunt Drake about Rihanna-related matters? How did Drake respond? And what, oh what, was Meek Mill's role in ...

Manny Ramirez's Dreads Will Cause Drug Use, Abortion, Gayness, Blindness, Fan Tells The A's Triple-A Affiliate In Insane Voicemail
This disgruntled fan of the Sacramento River Cats would like you to know that she is NOT fuddy duddy. Nor is she a crackpot. She just thinks that Manny Ramirez's dreadlocks are the reason that "unwholesomeness" is spreading across the American landscape. I strongly urge you to listen to this voic...

The NFL Will Make Its All-22 Film Available To Everyone Next Year, And Football Writing Will Never Be The Same Again
Rejoice, football dorks! The NFL evidently rolled out its Game Rewind 2012 today and announced that there'll be real full-game-length All-22 film in there. This is big....

Better Know An Umpire: Paul Nauert
Welcome to Better Know An Umpire, an effort to educate ourselves on the human elements who have ultimate decision-making power over some 2,500 Major League Baseball games a year. (All cumulative statistics are through the 2011 season, unless otherwise stated.)...

The Yankees Are Offering Fans An Opportunity To Win This Really Ugly Car
If you've been watching the NBA Finals in the New York City area, you've probably seen a commercial that's been terrifying Yankee fans and non-Yankee fans alike. The ad shows various people living their various lives, surrounded by various items adorned with that familiar Yankees logo and pinstripes...

Banana On The Pitch! A Roundup Of Horrible Euro 2012 Fans, With Croatia In The Early Lead
Ah yes, the traditional banana hurled at a black player. Euro 2012 is officially on!...
![On Errors, Human Error, And R.A. Dickey's Maybe-Hitter [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17pv5zyxqgwcwjpg.jpg)
On Errors, Human Error, And R.A. Dickey's Maybe-Hitter [UPDATE]
Today, Friday, we find out if R.A. Dickey threw a no-hitter on Wednesday. The dissonance of that statement should itself tell you what the "right" answer is. A no-hitter is about the mounting pressure of the late innings, the superstitious avoidance of a pitcher in the dugout, the social aspect of c...

No, I Will Not Fix The Overflowing Toilet Today: The Dadspin Father's Day Manifesto
Father's Day is a con. Every year, I expect to have a Father Day's filled with unlimited blackjack and gunfire-scented cologne, and every year it ends up being like every other goddamn NFL-free Sunday in existence. Father's Day is supposed to be MY day, but most of the time my family abandons any pr...

Today's Ukraine-France Match Is Delayed Because God Is Angry
Hellfire is raining in Donetsk, where the Euro 2012 Ukraine-France match is delayed due to heavy rain and lightning, some of which appears here to have attempted to find its way inside the stadium. (That ain't sunlight.) Clearly Thor is angry Norway failed to qualify....

Yes, LeBron James Fouled Kevin Durant
Kevin Durant's shot with 10 seconds left to tie last night's NBA Finals Game 2 didn't drop, and now the series is tied 1-1. Arguing over whether a foul should have been called on LeBron James is silly; Durant just as easily could have been called for a charge moments before, and there's no guaran...

Heavy Wind Nearly Propels Grounds Crew Worker Into Orbit
Keep your eye on back row of grounds crew workers in the video above, specifically the fourth person from the left. Even if you can't find him right away, you certainly will by the six-second mark, when the wind launches him several feet off the ground. That's Kyle Smith, the general manager of th...

Charles "Peanut" Tillman Scornfully Responds To Local Teacher's Anti-Bears Math Homework
The Bears' Pro Bowl corner Charles Tillman was promoting his Cornerstone Foundation in a suburban Chicago runner's shop, when he was approached by a teenaged girl. She was the daughter of the store's owner, and she was just killing time doing her math homework, when she came across a problem she tho...

Russell Westbrook Finds The National Anthem Boring
Russell Westbrook missed his first six shots of last night's NBA Finals Game 2, and the Thunder's slow start left them unable to overcome the Heat despite a thrilling finish. A bellwether for Westbrook's anemic first quarter performance came before the game, when during the national anthem he looke...

Erin Andrews's Contract Is About To Expire, And No One Wants To Hire Her Away From ESPN
Around the time that news of Michelle Beadle's departure leaked, there was (surprise!) a US Weekly report that ESPN sideline reporter Erin Andrews and Gossip Girl guy Chace Crawford had gone out on a "couple" of dates. There were also a bunch of tweets about how much time Andrews spends with models ...

Thousands Of Irish Soccer Fans Sing Their Team Off After A Crushing Defeat
Ireland got thrashed by Spain today, 4-0, in the second match of the group stage, but the loyal Irish faithful that flew into Gdansk for the match nonetheless sang their team off the pitch with a rousing rendition of "The Fields of Athenry" in the waning moments. It's basically like a couple thous...

"No One Can Hear You Down There": A Roundup Of Days Three And Four Of The Jerry Sandusky Trial
The trial of former Penn State defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky began Monday morning in Bellefonte, Pa. For a review of what happened on Monday and Tuesday, click here and here. What follows is some of what's worth noting from Wednesday's and today's testimony:...

Jeff Garlin Struggles Through "Take Me Out To The Ballgame" Before Telling Tigers Fans They Suck
Actor, comedian, and Cubs fan Jeff Garlin took issue with Tigers fans at Wrigley today for being "irritating" or, more accurately, existing. "There are just so many of them too," he told Len Kasper and Bob Brenly in the Cubs broadcast box. He decided to hang out for a while after the rough perform...

The Stupid, Stupid, Unforgettable Madness Of Adam Sandler. <em>That's My Boy</em>, Reviewed.
There are few things in modern cinema as reliable as an Adam Sandler movie. Since 1992, he's appeared in at least one film every year except for 1997, and just about all of them have been terrible. And yet there's something oddly comforting and exciting about the arrival of a new Sandler offering. I...