ew Page 3061 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Well, Shoot, Then Just Let Tubby Toss It
Giants dead man walking Tom Coughlin hasn't announced a starter for Sunday's game against the Packers yet, but it seems pretty likely, in the wake of Eli Manning's partially separated shoulder, that Jared Lorenzen is gonna take snaps for the NYG next week. (At least, Chris Mortensen says so, and he'...

Inside The Yankee Stadium Proposal Prank
Click to view Last week, the kids at College Humor pulled off what we'd have to consider a prank of epic proportions; one guy put a fake marriage proposal on the big screen at Yankee Stadium as his friend, the object of the prank, sat agape with his girlfriend, who, amazingly, said "yes" before he ...

The Patriots Are Always Watching
As this photo from the Patriots-Jets game would seem to indicate, New England may be guilty of stealing New York's defensive signals from the sidelines during their game on Sunday. Of course, why they would do such a thing is another matter ... it's like Lisa Simpson peaking at Ralph Wiggum's test a...

Scrape The Brewers Off The Outfield Wall; This Race Is Tied
Call me old fashioned, but I kind of liked it when the teams involved in a tense pennant race were more than three games above .500. It's entirely possible that the Cubs and Brewers could go down to the final day before the NL Central is decided, with both teams sporting a losing record. Wouldn't t...

Inside Jason Elam's Incredible Kick
Stefan Fatsis, the author of Word Freak, sportswriter (on leave) from the Wall Street Journal and sports commentator on NPR's "All Things Considered," knows kickers. His upcoming book, A Few Seconds Of Panic, is about the modern NFL as experienced by Fatsis, a 5-8, 170-pound writer embedded as a kic...


Soon, You Will Hear Tales Of Isiah's Smooth Talk
If you believe both sides involved in the Isiah Thomas sexual harassment case, the trial that's scheduled to begin today, justice will be served and a full trial will be played out. But anyone who knows anything about the law is practically begging both sides to settle....

Shea Stadium Fans Love Them Some Pedro
Who was out at Shea yesterday for the big Pedro Lovefest '07? Faith and Fear in Flushing, for one, which is so giddy over their hero's return that they are declaring September the Mets' Second Spring. Pedro Martinez turned in his second strong outing following his return from the DL, lifting the Met...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you try and watch "Honk If You're Horny" in peace:...

You Gotta Know When To Hold 'Em...
There's a big underground poker game here in Greenville that I had been trying to get into for months. Last month, somebody robbed it. [Up For Poker]...

NFL Pants Party: Super Bowl XLII
We're five long months away from the Super Bowl, and a lot can happen each week to change the complexion of the league. Still, it's worth trying to pick your Super Bowl teams now, because if your picks do turn out to be correct, you can be that one fuckface that runs around bragging about how you pr...

...AND WE ARE UNDERWAY!
By the way, this is exactly what the games will look like on my TV, but I don't give a shit. Football is finally back! We'll be in and out, and we'll have updates as we go. Enjoy the games, everyone, and check back when the assgrooves in your respective pieces of furniture need a quick breather....

College GameDay: An Appreciation
Drew wrote a thoughtful piece about ESPN's traveling band of college football analysts that we probably should have run yesterday. I still think it's semi-pertinent since these guys are the exact opposite of the professional counterparts that we'll be tolerating today, who seem to excel at nothing e...

For Your Sunday Afternoon Viewing Pleasure
Last year, MJD provided you with regional coverage maps for the NFL, and we're happy to have located them once again. Click on the links to find the game in your area, plus the assigned announcing team:...

May Pete Rose Live Long And Die Out
Perhaps you've heard of the new book The World Without Us, Alan Weisman's blow-by-blow account of what would happen on Earth if all human beings suddenly disappeared. But if you think this book is just some environmentalist's wet dream, you're wrong. Dead wrong. People, I give you The Voluntary Huma...

College Games You'd Wade Through A Pile Of $#!+ To See
Only two games this weekend feature ranked opponents going head-to-head. But there are still plenty of intriguing non-conference matchups on the schedule. And you never know when a highly ranked team will shit the bed against an unworthy foe. Could Florida lose to Troy? Anything's possible now....

Thank Heavens For The NFL
• Another reason never to get excited about anything. • Mark Mangino will kill you. • Scott Van Pelt had had it up to here with your Internet garbage. • The NFL actually started its season. • Jeff Reed! • Shush, Barber. • Boy, oh boy, Michigan. • Rugby players make great dads. • Enjoy your Sunday! •...

Wade Wilson's Totally Non-Flaccid Excuse
So here's something our Rick Ankiel could use as a defense, when he inevitably addresses the HGH story later today: He was trying to get a boner....

Man, The Colts Are Pretty Good
In case you had any question about it, the man in the white jersey is Jason David, former cornerback for the Indianapolis Colts, now corner for the Saints. He went against his old team last night. That shot of him, chasing somebody who has streaked past him? There are a lot of those....

No More Waiting Around; The NFL Is Back
You want to know how long it's been since there was some damned NFL football? The last time a game counted, we glogged it. It seems like decades ago. And now, with your last chance for sign up for the Pick 'Em Pool, we welcome an actual live season....