f Page 3659 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

When Bobby Comes Marching Home Again Hurrah, Hurrah
It's time we all thought about it: What sort of frenzied, de Gaulle-returns-to-Paris scenario will erupt when Barbaro is finally released from the University of Pennsylvania's New Bolton Center? Although his doctors will not be rushed into issuing a time frame for his withdrawal (hmm, that sounds fa...

More Empty Rooms Discovered In The Drafty Mansion That Is Terrell Owens' Mind
It's tough being Terrell Owens. Enemies are everywhere. There are secret documents to be decoded and then left in an isolated mailbox for government agents to pick up. Then there's all the time traveling with Darren Daulton. It's a lot of work....

Marvin Lewis' Reindeer Games
This has already made it around a bit, but because we're feeling festive and full of the holiday spirit this morning, so we thought we'd share this special video, put together to the tune of "Rudolph the Red-Nose Reindeer" — not typically one of our holiday favorites — and concerning Marvin Lewis an...

Joey Porter Didn't Mean To Offend You; He Just Meant To Offend The Fag
Just because his team has been a disaster this year doesn't mean that Steelers linebacker/insano Joey Porter can't still stir some shit up. Yesterday, Porter apologized for calling Kellen Winslow a "fag."...

Leftovers: A Logical Product Tie-In
• Get your Schwetty Balls! [CNBC] • Some Cowboys give up their kidneys for friends. [FanIQ] • Look, drunk hockey player pictures! [Mondesi's House] • It's Landon Donovan's wedding registry. The tights are for him, we bet. [The Big Lead] • Evel Knievel is pretty pissed at Kanye West. [The Sports Puls...

Dan Marino, The Early Broadcasting Years
We'd never seen this old video, of Dan Marino, back in the Len Dawson "Inside The NFL" days, making a verbal flub and kind of getting a little pissy about it. (When you've scared Len Dawson, you've scared the world.) It's from 2000, when Marino was first trying out as a broadcaster — and was, and is...

PETA Is Worried About Shaq's Hands
A few people out there have wondered if the entirely reasonable and in no way dramatically and insanely overstepping in the name of a somewhat noble (occasionally) cause folks at PETA have an opinion on David Stern's decision to be with leather again. Well, they do....

Marvin Lewis Is Beginning To Suspect That Something Is Amiss
This is an intervention. Marvin Lewis, your team is out of control. One out of every eight Bengals players is involved in the U.S. judicial system; either in jail, on parole or awaiting trial. We'd really like you to read these pamphlets. There are people who can help....

Reeeeeeeeematchhh!!!!!
It was inevitable, it was preordained, it was destined and placed here only to make us happy and the world a better place: Looks like Miami and Florida International, who have a bit of history, are set to butt heads, crutches and Hell 2 Da Naw once again, next year. It's October 6. It's the Orange...

Leftovers: Yeah, Good Luck With That
• The Cubs should have all kinds of fun with Jason Marquis over the next three years. [Goat Riders Of The Apocalypse] • Women's basketball Bracketology is here? Really? [ESPN] • If you're a Minnesota wrestler, the Navy SEALS would like to talk to you. [WCCO] • On soccer, Chile and politics, of cours...

Big Ben Keeps Teaching The Kids
It was only a matter of time: Ben Roethlisberger's motorcycle mishaps are inspiring minor league promotions....

Troy Smith, Terror In The Skies
Troy Smith might be the Heisman Trophy winner, but you gotta be careful with that trophy. Some people might think it's a potential terrorist device....

Deadspin SHOTY Tournament: Jay Mariotti Vs. Harold Reynolds
We return to the SHOTY Tournament, with the final two quarterfinal matchups, today and Thursday. Of all the Elite Eight matchups, we think this might end up the closest. (The first two have been runaways, though you can still vote.) First, a reminder of the bracket....

'I Regret Nothinnnnnggggggg!'
On the list of things we would never attempt, right after "Barbaro message board moderator" and right before "poking Larry Allen with a sharp stick" comes this. It's base jumping, of course, but these batshit insane daring thrill-seekers have added a couple of twists over the past two years. No. 1 i...

A Night For Loud Bears Fans And Silent Rams Ones
We spent a year and a half of our lives in St. Louis and went to two NFL games. The first was in 1998, when Tony Banks was the quarterback. You can imagine what happened then. The second time was in 1999, when Kurt Warner threw five touchdown passes on our 24th birthday to smash the then-vexing San ...

It's Rex Grossman's World, And We Are Just Satellites
We might make the argument that the most compelling figure in the NFL right now is Chicago Bears quarterback Rex Grossman. This is a guy who, at times — that is to say, during times that weren't in the last month-plus — has looked like a legitimate NFL quarterback, a guy who is a leader, as they say...

Prince Brings His Unique Style Of Pants To The Super Bowl
As anyone who watched the NFL on CBS yesterday now knows from the above commercial, your Super Bowl halftime show performer is Prince. We don’t understand this commercial in the slightest — because Prince, of course, has never once made an artistic decision based on advertisers or corporate interest...

Leftovers: Tracking Ole LeBron
• TrueHoop continues its look at LeBron James and the U.S. team. [True Hoop] • Norwegian sprinter banned for life after another, third, positive steroid test. [Associated Press] • Barry Bonds' "indictment clause." [Baseball Musings] • A Toledo to lead the Green Wave! [ESPN] • The Heisman Trophy show...

Carson Palmer Throws Better Than He Listens
What do you get the multimillionaire quarterback who has everything? That's the question The Dayton Daily News asked Bengals quarterback Carson Palmer, and his answer is a reminder why we are not friends with athletes. Here's what Palmer said he wanted for the holidays (emphasis ours):...

Time To Display Some Confidence, People
We promised you a reminder when our little College Bowl Pants Party League officially went live, so here it is: You can join the Deadspin Pants Party Bowl League right here....