Carson Palmer Throws Better Than He Listens

What do you get the multimillionaire quarterback who has everything? That's the question The Dayton Daily News, and his answer is a reminder why we are not friends with athletes. Here's what Palmer said he wanted for the holidays (emphasis ours):

1. The new Kevin Federline CD, Playing with Fire. ("A lot of people don't like K-Fed, but he's all right.") 2. A new tie rack. ("Even guys from Southern California wear ties.") 3. A 10-point LTS crossbow. ("It's a new hobby of mine.") 4. Flavor of Love (Season 1) DVD. ("Flav is very smooth, and funny.") 5. A pingpong table. ("Pingpong is fun and helps your hand-eye coordination.")

You know, we don't want to overstate our case here, but as much as we enjoy watching Palmer play football, it's going to remain in our brain every time he drops back that he legitimately likes Kevin Federline's music. We thought this would make us root against him, but we can't fathom a quarterback currently the NFL faring much better, you know? Know that Kordell is gone, anyway; we kind of like the Scissor Sisters.

Some Bengals Off The Field Christmas Lists [Dayton Daily News]

(By the way, all kinds of comedic possibilities missed in this story. They asked THE BENGALS WHAT THEY WANTED FOR CHRISTMAS. How about "car breathalyzers?")