fail Page 6 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

I Heard His Son Is Pretty Good, Too
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....

"America's Most Patriotic Band" Plays America's Worst Anthem Rendition
NASCAR promoted these guys who performed "The Star-Spangled Banner" before today's Nationwide Series race at Daytona as "Madison Rising, America's Most Patriotic Rock Band." I guess the more patriotic, the less talented! (Things really get good, and by good I mean bad, around the one-minute mark.)...

Why Does NBC's Primetime Figure Skating Broadcast Suck?
For the past few weeks, I've been having a problem. My job, such as it is, has been to watch the Olympic figure skating competitions and to then write about it for this website. So nearly every day, clad in my pajamas and sporting my best last-panel-of-a-Cathy-comic hair, I've loaded up the NBC live...

In this column, Bill Simmons presents an analogy in which the commissioner of the NBA is Simmons/a dad, general managers are small children, and basketball players are shoddily-manufactured and overpriced consumer products. A worldview has rarely been captured so well in so few words. [Grantland]...

It Took 10 Minutes For The First Opening Ceremony Mistake To Occur
How very Sochi of things not to work properly. Good thing nothing like this happened in Vancouver....

Keyshawn Johnson Has, Uh, Changed
So Justin Bieber's house got raided today, no doubt bringing joy to neighbor Keyshawn Johnson who has beef with the obscure underground death metal singer. The interview you see here, though.. that's not Keyshawn Johnson....

Asian Crap Threatening Chicago, According To ABC Affiliate
Even though Asian Crap is a danger to the city of Chicago, fear not. The city has a plan to deal with its Asian Crap....

Fox Sports 1, CBS Still Struggling In The Graphics Department
USC freshman Nikola Jovanovic is a frontcourt star for the Trojans, but we have to wonder what age-defying magic they've got over in Serbia. Can they get some to Novak Djokovic? We'd love to watch him dominate tennis for another 75 years....

Guy You've Never Heard Of Misses Perfect Game By One Pitch
Yusmeiro Petit, of whom you've never heard, ensured his continued obscurity by missing out on a perfect game when on the final out he allowed a hit to the Diamondbacks' Eric Chavez on a 3-2 count....

This Is What Happens When ESPN Lays Off All Its Competent Employees
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"Do You Want Some Dome?" Minnesota TV Station Wants To Know
On Friday, KARE's Scott Seroka did a piece on fans wanting pieces of the Metrodome after the Vikings play their final season there in 2013. Someone may have sabotaged him with this caption. h/t to Jesse via Kellen...

MLB Network Is Just Inventing New Statistics Now
If only my dog could shit with at least a .275 average....

Where Do Singers Screw Up The National Anthem?
Earlier this month, before the first game of the Canadian Hockey League's Memorial Cup, singer Alexis Normand joined a long list of people who have brutalized the U.S. national anthem in front of a large, tense crowd....

How Many Mistakes Are In This Graphic From Last Night's Royals 'Cast?
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ESPN Is Confused About Where On The Body The Achilles Tendon Is Located
Must have been a real bitch for Thetis to hold a baby by its knee to dip into the river Styx....