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Clint Dempsey Is Casual And Cold-Blooded
When Clint Dempsey tried to walk the ball in against Guadeloupe, it was predictably disrupted, and he was predictably blasted for being too casual. It's a particularly biting critique for soccer, the one sport where we expect American athletes' effort to outpace their skill, rather than the other wa...

Stories That Don't Suck: SportsFeat's Guide To Wimbledon
A quick primer on SportsFeat: Every day, we post great sports writing from across the web, both new stuff and classics. A companion to Longform.org, the site is designed to be used with services like Instapaper and Read It Later, so you can read the stories later on your phone, iPad or Kindle. You c...

What’s It Like To Be Aggressively Licked?
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

ESPN Book Gets Snubbed On Regis Show; Annoyed Co-Author Blames Michelle Beadle
Despite the fact that there's been no public disciplinary fallout from Michelle Beadle's nasty comments about Erin Andrews last month, it appears Beadle's trying to distance herself from "Those Guys Have All The Fun," according to co-author Tom Shales. Shales, whose longtime gig as a TV critic resul...

Why We Shouldn't Blame Roberto "LeBrongo"
More people than ever before watched game seven of the Stanley Cup finals Wednesday night, and that's a good thing for hockey. Both the league and fans hoping for growth should delight that the NHL had its best American TV rating in 38 years even though one of the teams came from Canada....

Too <em>Moneyball</em> For Their Own Good: How The Mets Screwed Up The Kazmir Trade
The Angels released Scott Kazmir on Wednesday, and we had seen it coming for years. Hitters clobbered Kazmir in 2009, 2010, and, in his one 2011 start. He lost his control and velocity simultaneously, and stopped striking hitters out....

The Slow, Sad Death Of A Riot's Symbol
Why do they do it? It’s hard to stand on the outside and watch people try to burn their city down. It’s even harder to understand the mentality of someone who morphs from sports fan to looter, pillager, criminal. What is in the mind of the rioter?...

When And How The Canucks Lost The Series
Patrice Bergeron's shorthanded goal made it 3-0 Boston in the waning moments of the second. For all intents and purposes, it was an insurmountable lead and was the moment the Cup engravers could start checking their spelling. But it was also a microcosm of so many things that swung the series for ...

A Terrible Beauty Is Born
Your morning roundup for June 16. Happy Comp-Lit-Major Christmas, everyone! Amazing photo via Getty Images....

There Was The Dumb Drunk Portion Of The Vancouver Riots, And Then Things Got Sinister
At about the three-minute mark in this video, the band of drunks redirects its impotent rage onto a man (described in the YouTube video as a security guard) who tries to keep them from smashing the department store windows. I'm still trying to make sense of when a sports-related riot shifts from b...

The Most Boring Moments From Jimmer Fredette's Fascinatingly Boring YouTube Channel
So, yes, having these clips compiled does imply that I sat through nearly all 40 videos on the "Follow Jimmer" YouTube channel, and yes, I am slightly ashamed of that implication (did I get Jimmered?), but I'll stand by the belief that it was totally worth it. Jimmer Fredette & Family have embarke...

Stay Soft, Dirk Nowitzki
Even before Dirk Nowitzki lifted a championship trophy on Sunday night, he was being held up as a new man. Nowitzki had reinvented himself, we were told. He'd finally "shed" the Euro-soft label plastered to him throughout his career and, to much adulation, morphed into the sort of rugged warrior tha...

What The Miami Heat Taught Us About Fascism (And Maybe Cat Sex, Too)
FreeDarko's Bethlehem Shoals, co-author of The Undisputed Guide to Pro Basketball History (visit the FreeDarko store, too!) and our erstwhile Heat Strokes diarist, closes the book on Miami's season....

Holding Farts In And You!
Yesterday, I took my wife's clothes to the dry cleaners, an errand I ran for her without her asking me to do so. And when I do something benevolent like that, I expect full credit and reams of endless praise for being so considerate. So I came home and left the dry cleaning ticket right out in the o...

Peyton And Eli Manning Are: <em>Football Cops</em>
Our tipster grabbed these photos and videos of the Brothers Manning filming in Greenpoint, Brooklyn last month. (He then promptly gave them to TMZ, which posted them much faster than we did.)...

How I Tuned The Heartstrings For NBC Olympics Coverage
Ronda Rousey, in August of 2008, was 21 years old. Her home was Riverside County, California. When she was 14, she had named her new kitten Beijing because she was so certain she'd be there for the 2008 Games, as a judoka — like her mother, Dr. AnnMaria De Mars, who had been a world champion before ...

Charles Barkley Trashes The Miami Heat, Part 372: "God Is A Dallas Mavericks Fan"
Sir Charles keeps trolling, this time on both the Mike Lupica Show on ESPN 1050 and then on WIP Philadelphia with Howard Eskin and Ike Reese. There is nothing new here, because we've been listening to Barkley lambaste the Heat and especially Two of their Big Three on a regular basis for the past f...

Canucks Fans Get Their Hearts Stomped In Realtime
As many away teams do when there's a chance to clinch (the Mavs did it), the Canucks hosted a viewing party for fans at Rogers Arena in Vancouver. NHL.com decided it would be a fun idea to set up a livecam to capture crowd reactions....

Dirk Nowitzki Dance Party!
Behold Dirk Nowitzki: America's favorite German, the NBA Finals MVP, the man who made being a mostly-unknown national hero look so easy, and the man who made a one-legged step-back jumper look even easier. But! We've unearthed one weakness. Dirk Nowitzki is a rather tortured booty-dropper....

The One With A Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader Selling Herself For Sex Parties On Craigslist
Welcome back to Deleted Scenes. This space is now reserved for those scuzz-money entrepreneurs who've unsuccessfully tried to sell us prurient information. This is also where we'll run notable emails we've received from some of our readers. All emails are [sic]'d. Enjoy. ...