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Cockblocked By Phish!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
What ESPN Won't Let Player X Say: Prenups, Popping Asses, And Watching Your Wife Get Pounded
ESPN The Magazine runs a regular feature called Player X, in which a current athlete writes anonymously on a pressing issue affecting his sport. A couple of issues ago, the mystery NBA player tackled the topic of infidelity among pro athletes. What ran in the magazine was polished, snappy...and unen...
Verizon Wireless Store Employees Are The Devil’s Afterbirth
Yesterday I had to go to a Verizon Wireless store to get the numbers from my old phone transferred over to a phone I had just purchased. (Not an iPhone. Fuck you for owning one, Mr. I Can Afford A Data Plan.) And after 15 minutes in that fucking store, I can now say, without hyperbole, that Verizon ...
Breaking: Oddibe McDowell's Water Bill Is $88.61 This Month
Sometimes we get wonderful tips, about corked bats or team finances. Other times we get sent former journeyman outfielder Oddibe McDowell's water bill in Broward County....
Cubs Using Jeter, Pujols To Sell Tickets
We get the Pujols one; division rival, comes to Wrigley 10 times a year. But it's somewhat telling that the giant billboard, with room for the two biggest reasons to buy Cubs tickets, chooses Starlin Castro and Derek Jeter (in town for a lone interleague series)....
Vanderbilt Mascot Punches Vanderbilt Fan, Bloodying His Nose
Vandy's mascot "Mr. C" went after one of his own fans before yesterday's loss to Tennessee. Local news tried to make the excuse that he was overzealous, or perhaps couldn't see out of the oversized foam head, but our tipster relays that the bloody student had grabbed Mr. C's junk during a crowd su...
"You Have To Accept My Pain": An Interview With Dave Duerson Three Months Before His Suicide
On Nov. 27, I spent an hour on the phone with former Pro Bowl defensive back Dave Duerson. It had been seven years since his mother's death and 364 days since his father's burial, and the following day he would celebrate his 50th birthday. Less than three months later, he sent some text messages to ...
I Can't Walk The Line: Dustin Johnson's Hilariously Failed Sobriety Test
Golfer Dustin Johnson was pulled over and arrested for DUI almost two years ago. Only now the dashboard footage from the arresting officer emerges. Thrill to Dustin not listening to instructions! Marvel as he teeters over! Stand awed as he pleads down to a charge of reckless driving!...
Super Slo-Mo Dunk Videos Are Actually Quite Beautiful
Credit the NBA for having the most active YouTube channel. But we were taken aback by these hi-res, super slow-motion videos of DeMar DeRozan, Blake Griffin and JaVale McGee in the dunk contest (Serge Ibaka gets hosed again). Set to haunting music, they're simply: art....
ESPN Personalities Have Shilled For A Lot More Than Just Nike: A Video Compilation
Last week, The New York Times reported that three ESPN College GameDay anchors — Chris Fowler, Kirk Herbstreit, and Lee Corso — have had shoe contracts with Nike. We've known about Erin Andrews's endorsement deal with Reebok for some time, but the news that these three have worn Nike and agreed t...
Lament Of The Knicks Fan Living Under The Specter Of Isiah
We see the masses in Tunisia, in Egypt, in Libya, and we rejoice. We rejoice for the rare illustration of that most deeply held human belief — that the people must not be subject to the leadership they do not choose. We rejoice, and yet we are conflicted, because we feel ground under a similar despo...
One Thing I Think I Think: Peter King Is The Latest In A Long Line Of Management Stooges
First there was that epic profile of Roger Goodell, which was 6,000 words of Peter King trying to stuff some brains and character into an empty suit. Then there was this item the other day. I know it's CBA season, and I can only imagine how difficult and disorienting it must be for football writers ...
Here's Kobe Bryant Getting A Little Testy With Reporters Last Night
After scoring 37 points on 14-for-26 shooting in last night's All-Star Game, Kobe sat through a lot of post-game interviews. He seemed a little tired — irritable, even. Maybe it is from being around all the young folk, after all....
Did Patrick Kane Have A Two-Day Hangover? (UPDATE)
Patrick Kane missed Blackhawks practice Monday and Tuesday with "flulike symptoms." The team wouldn't elaborate, but flulike symptoms might consist of nausea, vomiting, chills, aches, weakness, diarrhea. What else could cause those? Maybe, just maybe, throwing down at a Chicago bar on Sunday....
Here's A (Nearly) Exhaustive Video Compilation Of Blake Griffin Dunks
Blake Griffin has done some variation of stuffing a ball through a hoop about 140 times in 56 games this season. We've compiled every single one we could find, in preparation for Saturday's dunk contest. Enjoy....
Adventures In Pant Stuffing!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Got one of your own? Share it with me. Off we go....
Tree-Poisoner's Lawyer Wants Off The Case Because He's An Auburn Fan
Time once again to play everybody's favorite game! SEC Fans: Big Children or Biggest Children? As a volunteer militia puts Alabama's Bear Bryant statue under 24-hour guard for fear of retaliation, the state gears up for its biggest trial since Atticus Finch defended Tom Robinson....
In Which We Learn Jay Mariotti Is Still A Jackass
Jay Mariotti spoke with Jason Whitlock for another 42 minutes today. I learned some things about Mariotti that I didn't know before. He started out as a regular sports columnist for the Chicago Sun-Times in Cincinnati when he was just 25 years old, and in retrospect he can't believe that he had su...
NC State's C.J. Leslie's Valentine's Day Poem About Hooking Up Is Awfully Romantic
Don't ask how, but we got our hands on one of NC State freshman star forward C.J. Leslie's class assignments. It's spectacular. It must be shared with the world....
The Loneliness Of The American College Transfer Student
I remember being on the floor of my room in South Quad, bawling my eyes out on the phone. I couldn't stop crying. Real, hard crying. The kind where your jaw unhinges and long, cathartic wails just come pouring right out of you. My mom was on the other end of the line, and for a very long time, she d...