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Tonight's The Night HBO <em>Real Sports</em> Explores Deadspin's Septic Tank
So the news was broken a couple weeks ago but for those of you interested in what Bryant Gumbel's discerning pencil feels about our shady operation, tune into HBO (home of Treme) tonight at 10 p.m. EST, especially if you always wanted to hear Andrea Kremer say the word "penis" ad nauseum....
Calling Off The Dogs: Day 2 At Westminster
For the fifth(!) year in a row, I'm honored to serve as an embedded photojournalist on the front lines of the dog show circuit. Here's my dispatch from day two....
A Conversation With The Two Lucky Bastards Who Got Locked In At Camden Yards
Yesterday, we published the somewhat implausible tale about the two guys who accidentally got trapped in Camden Yards after a rainout and who turned the empty ballpark into their own personal playground and brew pub. They've come forward with more details....
An Inside Look At The White House Pooper!
All my life I've wanted to know the details of where the President of the United States evacuates his bowels, and now an anonymous reader who is ON THE INSIDE has provided the crucial information....
We Have The Awful Pilot For Colin Cowherd's Awful TV Show
A tipster has sent along the script for the first episode of Colin Cowherd's "relationship" sitcom, which is being developed for CBS and which is roughly The Honeymooners meets Frasier meets the really insightful parts of Bedtime for Bonzo. Here are some highlights....
Picking Up Scraps At The Westminster Dog Show
For the fifth(!) year in a row, I'm honored to serve as an embedded photojournalist on the front lines of the dog show circuit. Here's my dispatch from day one....
We Can Now Laugh At The Grammy Reporter Who Spoke Gibberish Last Night
Since Serene Branson did not, in fact, have a stroke while reporting live from the Grammys in Los Angeles last night, we think it is now safe to laugh openly at her incredible mumbo-jumbo-daracen-speak. Our interpretation is subtitled above....
The Story Of Two Guys Who Got Locked In At Camden Yards And Lived Out Every Fan's Dream
A few years ago, two men went to an Orioles game at Camden Yards. The game withstood a prolonged rain delay but was eventually postponed. Somehow, through hours of drink and delirium, our two heroes were locked in the gorgeous stadium by themselves during a torrential downpour. The story of what the...
The Time Zito Gave Mulder A Handjob, And Other Tales From The World Of Baseball Slash Fiction
Some lucky folks have especially vivid imaginations. But the rest of us need the internet to find Jaret Wright tenderly licking Melky Cabrera, or Kyle Farnsworth and Vance Wilson in bed together with knives....
Everyone's Talking About Harry Baals
The Fort Wayne city government is renaming its government center, and its residents have demonstrated an overwhelming preference to honor former mayor Harry Baals (now pronounced bales). This is making for some excellent TV news reports, all compiled above....
Cockblocked By The Hoff!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
The Somewhat Romantic Story Of Mark Sanchez And A 17-Year-Old Girl
This is a story about a famous quarterback's courtship of a 17-year-old girl and the girl's conflicting emotions about fame. No one committed any crimes, as far as we know. It's perfectly legal for the New York Jets' Mark Sanchez to date a 17-year-old girl. He can do it in Manhattan. He can do it at...
Christina Aguilera Is An Anti-American Slut, According To Pro-American Internet Commenters
"I got so caught up in the moment of the song that I lost my place," Aguilera has explained about last night's blunder. "I can only hope that everyone could feel my love for this country and that the true spirit of its anthem still came through." Sure, fair enough. Now let's check in with Real Ameri...
We've Just Mailed Out Our First Super Bowl XLV Bounty Hunt Check For This Jimmy Johnson Photo
A pleasant reader named Noah emailed us in with an offer for a photo of Jimmy Johnson stocking up at a Dallas liquor store as part of our XLV Bounty Hunt stupidity. We gave him an offer. He accepted....
Alabama Livens Up Staid Fax-Cam With Sex Appeal
Bama's doing the traditional webcam-pointed-at-their-fax-machine for National Signing Day. Boring, until you notice the "talent" they've got retrieving the incoming faxes. [via EDSBS]...
This Isn't How You're Supposed To Lift A Guy On A Stretcher
I don't know who this player is or how he hurt himself, but I do know this video is about five Leslie Nielsen movies rolled into one. [Via Twitter]...
Yep, Mark Sanchez Really Used Mark Brunell Like A Snot Rag
S, N, O, T. Snot! Snot! Snot! Several of you have sent this in. American heroes, one and all. (But this one came from Royce.)...
Glow-In-The-Dark Surfer Riding 40-Foot Wave At Night? Yes Please.
Mark Visser, illuminated by submarine lighting, rode the Jaws break off of Maui early yesterday morning. It's like Point Break meets Tron....
The Great Qwest Field Beer Scandal Of 2011
Here's a video purporting to show that a "large" beer at Qwest Field is exactly the same amount as a "small," despite the $1.25 price difference. Drink up tomorrow, Seahawks fans....
TCU Billboards Near Ohio State Are The Best Comeback
The Little Sisters of the Poor apparently have enough money to put up billboards around Columbus, congratulating TCU on their Rose Bowl win. Take that, drivers of Central Ohio!...